The Velvet Cerebellum

Update: Relatively certain I can avoid surgery on my eye. I do have a posterior vitreous detachment, but it's minor and has not caused any damage to my retina. On the other hand my vision is a tad blurred and I can't make the fixed point dots leave. The bright side? My eye has a bunch of floaters so it's kind of like my own personal snow globe in my head. The bad side of that? I look a little insane when people catch me tipping my head around with one I open staring at a blank piece of white paper.

Jerk Dogs: I was in the shower yesterday and the dogs started barking like the insane little assholes they are. They know I'm in the shower and that I am not inclined to get out of the shower and run around dripping wet, naked and screaming unless there is a centipede or humping involved.

Maybe Not Jerks?: While I was in the shower yesterday a package was being delivered and its delivery set the dogs to barking. I never get packages delivered before work! It was yarn! Awesomer! I bought yarn for an Irish cabled sweater, a Doris Chan sweater and some experimental yarn for a shawl that I am being a pattern tester on!

Weird: As I walked to my car I found two perfectly formed sparrow's wings in the yard. Seems a cat caught a bird and was too full for the wings.

Lovely: Someone brought me the world's most beautiful cupcake! The hard part was getting it home without ruining the icing so that I could share it with David. Even better? It was red velvet.

Arrested Development: I borrowed the first two seasons from Roxy. It's funny but I can see how it would be better if watched one episode a week. All of them at once gets a little...repetitive. A lot of the same set ups and jokes and all that. Good writing though, very funny moments.

BBQ: Had a little memorial day shindig. Fired up the grill for the first time in...almost two years? Damn. Did brats both meaty and Boca, a grilled veggie salad, grilled corn, minnesota cole slaw and Jarritos floats for dessert. It was a good reminder to keep my shit together.

Yeah, it's cool...: Just been kind of distracted lately

Posted by Heather at 9:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

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Yeah, I was all grumpy and then there were the spots in my left eye....

I have the textbook symptoms for Posterior Vitreous Detachment. I went to the emergency room, mostly it was okay but the doctor was crabby and exhausted and really didn't want to take me seriously (yeah, you'll fucking take it seriously when my eyeball explodes!). But he got me an emergency referral to an ophthalmologist for Tuesday so at least I'll get to see someone who has actually heard the term Posterior Vitreous Detachment!

But this is the awesomeness (yay! my eyeball!). I was all grumpy and I was on Ravelry complaining about this damned stupid cold that I thought had gone away and then came back and it was making me feel exhausted and tired and full of phlegm and on top of everything else I have these two spots in the vision of my left eye that won't go away and are right in the middle of what I see! And Ravelry being the awesomeness that it is, someone noticed this and she is a doctor and she pointed out that this wasn't just some irritation with getting older but an actual problem that needed to be dealt with!

I would have never known and I would be on here all grumblepots and in three days my eye would explode or something.

I imagine that the process of my retina detaching is very much like like my eyeball exploding or my eyeball just popping out of my head.

Awesome.

You know what isn't awesome? Forms of treatment for this.

Posted by Heather at 9:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

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1) The more I watch my sister plan her wedding the more I'm convinced to avoid the entire mess all together. Holy crap. HOLY CRAP! it's like it never ends! So much for the "happiest day"! It's like twelve pounds of stress in a sandwich baggie! Fuck flowers, fuck themes, fuck guest lists. I'm eloping to the moon. I don't know man, I start doing a cost/benefit ratio and suddenly I'm seeing a whole lot of effort and headache in exchange for some photos and cake. I can do photos and cake on my own without that headache!

BUT as my sister's maid of honor I have sworn an oath to uphold any decision she makes. I have sworn to be the asspabst that makes sure she gets what she wants. I am not above slipping atavan into the ham salad if it calms everyone down. Also, I promised her I would put a "kick me" sign on her ass as she reaches the altar.

2) Emily came back to MCAD!!! Well not back to MCAD proper but she's in the movie filming on campus. Man, sometimes you just don't realize how much you miss someone til they come back.

3) Today I helped Owen make chili. I emailed him lots of instructions and he repaid me with a bowl of awesome chili.

4)

5) Echidnas are AWESOME

Posted by Heather at 5:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

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So we joined the Y a few weeks ago and when I tell people it's all "oooh gonna lose weight, huh?" and "oooh weight, slim, weight weight blah blah blah"

It's kinda weird having to explain to people that I'm not joining the gym and working out to lose weight. Losing weight might be a side effect but I'm not going to focus on it or set any sort of goal in that direction. All I want to do is work up a little muscle and some stamina for the summer. I want to go camping in the BWCA again but I want to go farther in and farther away from civilization and that means more canoing and more portaging. That's it, that's the goal, to be able to hike more.

I don't care about being fat. Hell, I'm too fucking old to be worried what other people think. I am comfortable here. Years ago I lost a lot of weight and this is where I ended up and this is good.

As such, I spilled ice cream on my gym shirt and I'm wondering if it's bad to go to the gym like that!

Also, I can walk a mile on the track in 10-11 minutes which is pretty good for a shorty like me.

I do need different sneakers for the gym. The trail runners are good for outside stuff but the features that make them stable and help prevent me from falling down also irritate my toes when I walk fast.

Posted by Heather at 9:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

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Got sick. Totally got my ass kicked by this cold. I spent the weekend resting and taking cold pills and letting David take care of me. He even brought me popsicles.

When I am sick I completely judge a person based on whether or not you will bring popsicles to me. If you do not want to bring popsicles to me when I am sick, then it is obvious you are a jerk. Sometimes flu logic is the awesomest logic.

For the record, only one person ever refused to bring popsicles to me.

Also, when I am sick I take it VERY PERSONALLY when I go to the Original Pancake House and find that they have decided to CLOSE EARLY because it is Mother's Day!!! Mother's day! The day they are probably the busiest!! All the Edina kids bring their moms to the OPH on mother's day! Why did they close early?? Oh, right, because they are a nice place and they wanted their employees to spend time with their own mothers. Fine.

We went to IHOP instead. It was okay but I was really craving me some OPH!

Then I did some other things and took more cold pills and something else happened and I wrote another advice column.

and now I am trying to decide....popsicle...bed....popsicle....bed

Posted by Heather at 12:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Posted by Heather at 12:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

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photos for you! First some dogs and then my Craftstravaganza purchases.

Super cute Chester

Super awesome Maddie

Aisha Celia beautiful yarn! Worsted weight, working on a new purse, photos soon.

Aisha Celia beautiful yarn! Sock weight yarn for making a Boteh for me.

Aisha Celia beautiful yarn! Sock weight yarn for making a Boteh for me.

mmmmmm I loved this yarn!

Lovely barrettes for magic hair!

Check it, motherfuckers!

my favorite Craftstravaganza purchase!

Posted by Heather at 5:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

« April 2008 | Main | June 2008 »

I hate mushrooms. I fucking hate them. I hate them more than onions or freeform jazz or individually wrapped prunes (who needs individually wrapped prunes?? WHO???? who says "I will pay more for fewer prunes and more trash to add to the landfill and more plastic made from petroleum products!!"?). I really hate mushrooms.

The veggie burgers at work (which are also the same served at Burger King) have bits of mushroom in there. my vegetarian options at the work cafeteria are pretty limited most days, mac and cheese, cheese sandwich, eggsalad sandwich, veggie burger and the occasional fake meat chicken sandwich. The veggie burger has mushrooms in it. I hate mushrooms. Most days I don't have time to make a lunch (read: I don't make a lunch because I am sitting still and envisioning buttcracks). Most days I don't actually eat lunch but i do a couple times a week. I know the mushrooms are there but I order it and have it loaded with mustard, lettuce, tomato, pickles and banana peppers and then I scarf it down and try try try to not imagine the mushrooms, try not to notice them in my mouth being the worst things ever. I just eat fast. Until I notice a mushroom and gag like hell. and keep gagging until I get everything out of my mouth.

This is a sign of a sick mind.

Posted by Heather at 12:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

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ever have that day where you're like...

• man, I need to finish that project


• and THAT project


• oh my god and THAT project


• and SHIT! Someone's birthday


• oh god and my yarn needs organizing


• but I have to do the dishes


• and vacuum


• and go to Steven's Point for a weekend


• oh and Montreal!


• And Stitches Midwest in Chicago on the absolute worst weekend for me to do anything non-work related


• and camping


• AND BUY A HOUSE!!!!


• and get a physical


• and an eye exam


• and dammit! the dentist!


• and I don't know if I should go buy the yarn for the new project or finish up this other project


• and I don't want to go to work!


• I have so much that needs to get done


• but I would rather go to the dog park


• crap! House buying!


• I hate packing. can I throw everything away?


• I hate packing. No really, I hate it.


• so much to do and I just want to drink my coffee

Posted by Heather at 8:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

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