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September 29, 2007

What's with all the anger at Martha? I, too, can do a great many things
that Martha Stewart can do, but not all as well or as elegantly as she can.
As for your comment about MArtha going to jail---WHAT'S IT TO YOU!!! Stop
acting like some holier than thou snob! Besides if she'd been a man she
would have been rewarded for refusing to give up her info. Lets face facts
they only went after MArtha because she refused to bend over and take it up
the ass which is what most Republicans expect us all to do. I bet you're a
George Bush fan as well!! Well, now there's an true idiot for you!! The
only thing I figure is that you can't do much of anything right and are
jealous of Martha Stewart. What's wrong can't get a cookie to turn out
right!! By the way I bake my own bread, paint my own artwork, do my own
crafts, sew, crochet, etc, etc, etc and have even raised 7 children What
are YOUR accomplishments honey; I don't recall reading your last book or
watching YOUR television show. Get the point!!!!!!

I got this response today from a very old post I made, back when I made my first batch of jam. In only a single sentence I make a very tongue in cheek joke about Martha Stewart.

Obviously this person did not bother to read any of the rest of the site. If she had read more she'd know that I adore Martha for all her good ideas and deep seated nuttiness, I don't idolize her or anything, that's unhealthy. She might know about the various crafts and projects I undertake. She might have even gotten an idea of where my politics lie.

And so I am left to wonder, does this person surf the net daily to find mentions of Martha and defend her? Or was this just some sort of cosmic joke? Either way, I felt that a comment this important should not be lost to the ether....attached to a post 15 months old.

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September 27, 2007

Proof #73 that I am dorkolicious

This is me in an über-slouch, crocheting a scarf, surfing the web and listening to NPR podcasts.

I'm amazed I get laid at all.

Edited to add: You will also notice that I am wearing a Spongebob shirt. What you might not be able to see if that the shirt says "Nebraska Cornhuskers" on it. I think David bought it at a Stuckeys in Tennessee or Mississippi.

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

scraaaaaaaaatch bump

At work, sitting at my desk thinking about ugly people dorm utility usage when i notice little bumps on my left hand. And they were on my right hand. And they were n my arms....and they kinda itched.

So I scratched because I love me a good scratchin'. and they itched more and I scratched more and my knees and hips were itchy and my shins and I kept scratching and itching and i looked like one of those people that smell like a garage and sit too close to you in the waiting area of city hall (all you want to do is deal with your ticket and get it over with). Ha, I was totally the crazy one.

This morning I was in the shower and my soap was gone so I used David's. David's soap is blue and has some sort of man scented manliness to it. I believe this is the "Power Sport Mountain Goat" scent, I'm not sure. It smells nice on him, though. I smelled all manly this morning.

Then I got little bumps that itched and I scraaatched those bumps. Dang. It seems that this soap is not just manly in name but also deed. It did not appreciate being molested by my boobs! It was offended by my lack of man-wiener. It wanted revenge.

It got revenge.

Now, take a minute and really think about every nook and cranny (heh heh cranny) that you wash with soap when you shower. All of them, right? If you don't say 'right' I'm not going to sit by you anymore. all of those places itched.

This was worse than the time we switched detergents and I woke up in the middle of the night all allergic to my underpants.

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

September 26, 2007

dirty crochet

Last night was knit crochet night at Borealis Yarn Shop in St Paul! It was my first night hanging out there. We discussed babies, trading dogs for whiskey, trading babies for whiskey, cervix poking and the ease of locking a dog in a box so you could go to work as opposed to having to pay for daycare.

Then it was opined that perhaps you COULD do that with a kid, but the consequences might be a little more severe than a hyperactive dog.

So, I guess trade the baby for whiskey before you have to choose between buying whiskey or paying for daycare! Easy!

Speaking of trading kids for whiskey, has there been any actual proof of kids drinking bleach on that reality show? I've seen speculation and hearsay and 'it's been reported that' but no actual real evidence. And, frankly, with the hyperactive media shoving one sensation down our throats after another, I usually choose to reserve judgment on these things. Their retractions tend to be small and unnoticed. I don't watch TV and I haven't seen this show so I don't know how harsh it is. I have a hard time believing any kid was ever really in danger. Network weasels lawyers generally don't sign off on things like "kid might get bit by the rattlesnakes we lure into her cabin". They're kinda jumpy about that stuff, even if the parents did sign a contract that might have said "we will not hold cbs responsible for taking a rattlesnake, opening its mouth and pushing its fangs directly into the skin of my child". Weird how the law works, contracts of consent do not absolve an entity from responsibility in the face of willful neglect.

The more I read about it the more I think, "hmmm I could get $25,000 to send the kid to 'summer' camp for three months. during this time he will be away from his shitty friends, all the cultural influence like MTV and beer commercials. I get some quiet. He might grow up a little, learn to work and maybe be responsible. Oh, better take out that life insurance policy on him before he goes. you know, just in case."

I don't have kids, though, I have dogs, and I don't have to really worry about their friends since they can't work a doorknob and can't leave the house without me!

The day Chester comes home with a bag of catnip that 'isn't his' I'm sending him to Dog Nation.

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

September 24, 2007

This is how I think...

I have small small feet, probably disproportionately small. Also I am fat.

Over the years I have developed small painful growths on the 5th metatarsi of both feet. Basically, where the phalanges of the baby toes meet the matatarsal bones.

Earlier this summer it came time to replace my sneakers. They were worn out and the EVA midsole was all smooshed and not so bouncy. I purchased the same exact sneakers that I had. Over the course of the summer those bumps ached every time I walked. The pressure was getting to be so much that I dreaded walking the dogs and would often whine to get out of it. I considered seeing an orthopedist, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Sometimes you just don't have the strength to hear another person say, "well, you wouldn't have this problem if you just made smarter choices, took better care of yourself, stopped being so impulsive with food, exercised more, ate less." So I stuck it out, figured this was my punishment for years of bad choices and being fat. I'd never had this problem before but i've put on a bit of weight lately and I'm getting old.

David is more persistent than I am, also he cares and worries about me. He started investigating. He found that my new sneakers, though the same brand and style, were constructed ever so slightly differently in that particular area. The toe box support on the sides was just a fraction higher. Maybe just a couple millimeters. Such an insignificant thing. Such a tiny sliver of difference. Vasque probably did it in to provide more support in the area. That little sliver of support was not allowing my foot to break in the shoes. One little tiny area was redesigned to push inward and my foot needed it to push outward. I put my old sneakers back on and wore them all weekend.

Bliss. I could walk without pain again. I am not filled with the overwhelming urge to rip my shoes off and cry! And this is where we accept that David is far more logical than I could ever be. I'm too emotional. I'm too quick to blame myself. I'm to quick to say "live with the consequences".

I'm pretty lucky to have David! Sadly, however, it looks like I will be trading in my much beloved Vasques for a new sneaker. Sigh.

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

September 23, 2007

Late night in my house

I gathered up my yarn and tools and put them away. I closed my laptop and put it down. This is the signal that I'm heading to bed. David saw this and put his guitar down and started to get up.
David: Okay, it's time, my fingers hurt.
Me: are you coming to bed too?
David: Yeah.
Me: Oh. Cuz I was going to bring the pie to bed.
David: You're going to bring the pie to bed?


mmm peach pie.

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

Able was I ere I saw Palindromes

We got Palindromes from Netflix the other day. Meh. I wasn't all that taken with it. Reviews kept calling it funny. It wasn't funny. There were a few goofy moments but overall, it wasn't funny. There were so many other ways to describe it: sad, hopeless, upsetting, stilted and forced, poorly thought out, gimmicky, devastating.

I just wasn't all that taken with it. The idea of using different actresses (and one actor) to play the main character might have worked if the personalities of the actresses (and actor) defined a characteristic of Aviva,, the main character. As proof of my utter lack of soul, I just did not like the very young actress that played young Aviva. Sticking your tongue way out when you talk in order to fake a lisp doesn't make you cute or precocious, it just means your mom lied to you about how to look cute.

anyway.

It's PMS/miss ghengis terribly/get weepy/become territorial about my cereal and ice cream/feel apathetic week, the week out of every month that makes David ask himself what the hell he's doing with a giant glandular sloth in the house.

Instead of calling animal control on me, he bought me a peach pie. Nothing says I love you like not having you hauled away to a zoo when you truly deserve it. Nothing says long term commitment like peach pie instead of a kick in the ass. The peach pie is delicious and happy and surprisingly peachy!

After taking way too much effexor the other day, I realized just how lovely it is not to give a shit! My god! It was awesome. You want to complain to me? Go ahead, I don't care! Make bad decisions and not take responsibility? I'm here to hear and not listen! Run a red light and almost t-bone me? Go ahead, I honestly could not care any less (also my power steering thingy is making loud noises so make sure you hit that part of the car so it will be covered on the insurance). Chew up the sofa? let me add peanut butter to the cushion for you. Seriously, I just could not bring myself to care and it was incredibly liberating.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that the doctor is not going to allow me to bump my prescription all the way up to 450 mgs just so I can become a dick. She'll tell me to work on being a dick at this dosage first.

and in better news, I'm in the middle of calculating and designing a sweater since the awesome cabled version I showed you the other day just would not work with the yarn I have and I don't feel like buying more yarn. Wait, wrong, I do feel like buying more yarn, every day I feel like buying more yarn, I just don't want to buy more yarn for a sweater. I have other actual projects that need to be worked on first.

Bumble ramble I got nothing else. Stay sharp my marshmallows!

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

September 22, 2007

Dear Chester

If you don't freak out and bark bark bark at the little kids playing outside you won't get a raging case of 'freakout hiccups'. Cause and effect, little dude. think about it.

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

September 20, 2007

Because I'm ocd in all the wrong ways

most ocd people have super super clean houses and they have things lined up ...just so. These people are easy to fuck with because all you have to do is move one thing. It's cruel but it has to be done. I'm all ocd in the wrong areas. My house isn't clean, far from it. You could move something, I would notice, I would not care. Go ahead, move something.

I've somehow managed to channel my ocd into my crochet work (and now that I have Ravelry, I have people who understand). I seek out more and more difficult patterns to work on. I've been doing a lot of Fair Isle and tapestry crochet. Dealing with two or more colors at a time requires focus and concentration and is very very calming. I focus only on the crochet and nothing else and nothing bothers me.

I also make more sweaters and things for myself (for me!).

Okay, so I had decided to do this sweater, but I got wise. It got a pretty chilly reception from everyone who looked at it and I have come to accept that no sweater is going to make me look thinner and if I put on that sweater I will end up looking like a giant land anemone. okay fine. Also, the pattern is super super super easy and very repetitive. Instead, I'm making this bad boy. Okay, so here's the deal, i will have to reshape the sides to fit, but I can do that. Also, I have to promise not to get a wiener perm to match that guy's hair. Lastly, that damned thing needs sleeves. I will have to design sleeves based on the pattern on the front. So I'm bumping my projects around and this is going to be on the list. I love making crochet cables. So much easier than knit cables, which is an ironic thing to say since I am looking for something more challenging. But really, I'm looking for 'challenge' not '7th level of hell'.

Also, let's put this out there as a last call...
If you would like something specific made for you for Christmas or you would like me to make something for you to give to someone for Christmas, it is September 20th. I need to know ASAP so we can work out the details. Felted purses, plaid scarves, robot leg warmers, chenille hats, stuffed animals, whatever. If you go to my lame Flickr account you can see samples of my work, also, my latest hair color adventure and my new glasses. As an aside, I still don't like Flickr, in fact I really don't like it, but it's the only way to do photos on Ravelry and I do like Ravelry so I am willing.

alright peepodlers, I need to get me to work and find all the piles of stuff I need to do.

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

September 19, 2007

The things that happen and the thing not to do

So, I've not gotten a good, full night of sleep since I got out of bed last Monday. That would be the 10th. That would be a very long time ago. This is the longest I have gone without good sleep in a long long time. It makes me crazy, obsessive and crabby.

Shut up.

This morning, high on the lack of good sleep and confused as hell I took three effexor. I'm supposed to take 2. I take two 150 milligram effexor every morning and three 100 milligram welbutrin. The welbutrin are blut, the effexor are brown. This morning, I was tired. I took. I took 50% more than I should have. I took 450 milligrams. Took me a while to figure out what was going on. I figure I was loopy from lack of sleep. Then I realized that beyond the loopiness I was also completely fucking apathetic. I just did not care about anything.

Yeah. Need more sleep before I mistake the drano for horchata mix.

On the bright side, crochet projects are coming along beautifully.

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

September 17, 2007

It's true

I have been neglecting you in favor of Ravelry! But I posted a bunch of new project photos!

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

Hookers of the world! UNITE!

Today is the first day of the Stitch Stirrer plan to build the crochet army! Phase one is always propaganda, so watch out, bizhitchies! The flaming hooks of justice will soon be flying oner a town near you (perhaps joining Ravelry and meeting other crocheters and feeling all empowered isn't the healthiest thing for my obsessive side).

Todays Theme: Limericks!

There once was a girl with a hook
For patterns she'd nowhere to look
Being quite the slattern
She booked flight to Saturn
Where she lived by hook or by crook

There once was a yarn store in town
That oft made all the hookers frown
With the matter in hand
They formed an angry band
But stopped before the place burned down

Once was a girl with a lizard
That could not survive a blizzard
She hooked up a sweater
He acted no better
But she felt herself a wizard

Okay, that's enough pain from me!

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

September 12, 2007

Things I hate, episode a billion

1) woody allen. I have always hated woody allen movies. I can't fucking stand them. Little irritating man whining and moaning and navel gazing over and over and over. Also, casting the women he did to play his love interests....yeah, right. hate hate hate. I don't even care about the step daughter thing. weird, but not surprising.

2) conspiracy theorists. I hate conspiracy theorists because the the narcissism inherent in their theories. CTs come in two nutty flavors. The first is the kind that has lots of opinions and occasionally hints that if he's not careful about what he says, the secret government agencies will assassinate him. okay first, your friends don't think your cool because you have this secret 'information' that could get you assassinated, they think you're a dork and secondly, the government has its head so far up its ass it's completely incapable of having organizations that are that secret and efficient. If they had those secret, efficient organizations, we'd rid ourselves of terrorists, drug dealers, illegal immigrants, people who boat without a license and so on. Do you think that secret government agents are really interested in some dude in a cheap suburban subdivision? The second CT is the one that really pisses me off. These are the armchair experts. These are the people who know that the WTC didn't fall down from the plane, but it was packed with explosives. These are the people who know why the bridge fell in minneapolis last month. These are the people that look at the aftermath of a situation from the comfort of their stinky la-z-boys and instantly they can see the evidence! Wow! It's amazing to me that you could figure this out from your living room! You have no formal education in engineering or anything and yet from the photos and news footage YOU can see what the trained structural engineers cannot! Why waste your time in front of the Zenith, your country needs you. Go! Go on now, you could save the government billions of dollars in research money to figure out the causes of surprise catastrophes. All that saved money could be funneled into a secret government agency that could be contracted to kill your neighbor, the one who knows too much.

All things considered, my favorite WTC conspiracy has to do will all the hidden gold under the foundation. I imagine them planning the building and constructing it and when it's all done they're like "ho shit! we forgot to put a door in there. Fuck, how are we going to get our gold?"
"dude, you can't just build a door now, if you want your gold you are going to have to knock the building down"
"knock the building down? hey, i know this guy that works for this secret government agency..."

Oh also, I like the dude that built a little tower out of chicken wire and put bricks on top. He doused in gasoline and started it on fire. it didn't fall down. Proof that planes could not knock down the towers! oh yeah? well I took a bat and went to my neighbor's house and beat the shit out of their stucco and they called the cops! See you can't bake a cake in an oven! I just proved it.

(I really really hate conspiracy theorists)

3) snotty knitters

4a) people who bring their little kids and toddlers to the dog park and get all upset when the kid gets knocked down by a running dog or something. It's a dog park, not a kid park. It's the one place where dogs can run like hell and be boisterous and jump around. I'm not talking about out of control dogs, I firmly believe that your dog should be under voice control at all times, but the dogs act crazy and sometimes don't notice the little kid stumbling around. Hell, sometimes they don't notice the big people either, it's not uncommon to have some lopey dog hauling ass after another and miscalculate a turn and crash into you.

4b) people who do not control their dogs at the dog park. I don't mean the little scuffles for dominance or whatnot, those are natural and important in the dog world. To get involved in dog politics means that you are forcing yourself into a situation you don't understand and you are not welcome by the dogs. Often, you end up messing things up worse. I mean the excessively aggressive dogs, the ones that are poorly socialized and attack other dogs, the ones that don't understand or ignore that another dog is saying "fuck off" with his snarl. They're a goddammed pain. Also, please teach your dog not to jump on people. I don't need giant dirty paw prints on my shirt. As an aside, it is important to know that when you meet a dog for the first time you do not, DO NOT, immediately put your hand on top of their head to pet them. I know it seems natural to humans to do that, but to a dog you are clearly saying "I'm the boss of you now" and the is going to say "what the fuck, dilly, I have a pack, I didn't join your pack! you are not the boss of me". Instead, extend your hand out and allow the dog to come forward and sniff it first. This is you saying, "hello, how are you, my name is specific scent" and a dog will say "AWESOME" or "Meh, i thought you would smell like butt, im outta here".

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

September 11, 2007

International Vet of Mystery?

Or International Vet of Fucking Awesome!

A couple months ago I took Maddie in to see the IVoM and we came up with Maddie's long term plan. David and I worked vigilantly on her feet and her meds and she very very quickly improved.

We know that she cannot take less than 1 prednisone a day. Each time we tried to ease it back her feet would become inflamed and uncomfortable. I am concerned about the long term effects, but I understand and accept them.

When Maddie's feet were at their worst we could not let her off her leash at the dog park. She was always picking fights with bigger dogs, she was always cranky. Eventually we stopped taking her altogether. The pain and discomfort in her feet was making her cranky and irritable. You'd be pissed if your feet hurt all the time too and you had to way of getting relief.

As her feet got better we started taking her more and more often and we let her off the leash. Amazingly, she was not the aggressive dog she had been. This is not to say she didn't have her moments there, like the time she totally stared down this giant akita until he submitted. In the dog world, a stare down is pretty much a dog's way of saying "you are such a stupid pussy! you suck and you are a wiener and also I will say something crude about your mother dog!" (dogs are not so eloquent, even in translation). Also, akitas are not dogs that submit. Imagine me rushing over trying to grab Maddie before she got her ass kicked.

Initially, Maddie's forays into the dog park pretty much just involved her franticly sniffing and drooling and peeing on everything. She wasn't really interested in the dogs unless they chased chester or barked too much. She's become more and more interested as time has gone on.

Today I could have died of happy. Maddie was thrilled to be at the dog park. Today she played with dogs, she ran like a maniac, she spun in circles, she and I jumped around like retards. She's still not the best at playing, occasionally she'll be chasing a dog and forget that she's playing and think "oh my god! I'm chasing this dog! I bet I'm doing it because he's a pipehole" and try to take him down. But it was good. The dogs played, she was happy.

I wish I had the words to describe her transformation from a crabby dog, one that mostly just walked around the dog park, into this excited and youthful dog. I wish I had the words to express what it means to me that we have found a level of success with Maddie. I've had her since 2005 and my only hope for her was to make her happy and comfortable and we far exceeded that.

I wish I had the words to adequately express just how grateful I am to Dr Pierce Fleming, International Vet of Mystery. He didn't just walk into the exam room, take a look and make a guess. He did research, he tried to find answers. He took time to listen to me and my concerns. He explained things thoroughly and he gave me hope.

Shar Peis tend to bond with one person and that bond is solid and tight. They will protect that person at all costs, they will adore that person at all costs. The things that make Maddie the happiest include me coming home from work, getting to cuddle next to me on the sofa and sleeping near me. She is not an independent dog in any way, she needs me in order to feel secure and content. Sure, she's happy when David gets home from work, but she is frenzied when I get home. For that love and loyalty she deserves everything I can give her. To do any less would be a grave sin against all that is good in the universe.

And let's be honest here, I get equal comfort from her. When I am stressed or anxious I need only sit quietly and Maddie will crawl onto my lap and I can feel the tension ease, I can feel the endorphins being released. She is my therapy dog.


Maddie shoving her hippo head into my chest. It's her way of saying, "My name is Maddie. This is my head. My head is on you. This feels good. Also, my name is Maddie!"

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

September 9, 2007

happy happy happy

oh my god! It's the happiest game ever! Go there and play a happy game and smile.

Try all the Orisinal Games. All of them are super cute, some are more frustrating than others. It's the thing to do when Ravelry is going oh so super slow!

It's a good stress reliever! Today I finished most of the first sleeve on my cardigan and I tried it on and OH! I overestimated how fat my arm was. PZANG! Had to pull out the entire sleeve and then close the armhole a little and then recalculate the decreases! I probably won't have it done by tomorrow and I can't start any new projects until I finish a project.

I also started to make a loaf of molasses oat bread and didn't stop to check if I had any molasses left. Molasses is something you never buy, it's just always up there in the cupboard, it's label aging away. I actually have to buy molasses on occasion since I like to make the molasses oat bread. I subbed brown sugar. Also added wheat germ and flax seed to give it a hippie feel. Ate it with the homemade wild blue buddy berry blueberry jam (made from the blueberries I picked in the BWCA. It's really awesome. No, you can't have any. I'm just telling you about it because I'm an asshole.).

Also, you know what's good on everything (except fruit, ironically)? Tajin!

« August 2007 | Main | October 2007 »

smartgarlic

I'm not sure that writing about a restaurant while the food is burbling around in your gut is the fairest thing to do, but it's 8am and I can't sleep and Ravelry has forgotten to wake up the dancing clowns for my amusement.

La Grolla
La Grolla is one of those places where the super awesomeness is so evenly matched with its super unawesomeness that you're just not sure what to tell people. Yeah, the food was good...but

A big hit in its favor is that they are open until 11pm. Half the time, David and I don't even think about food until later in the evening, then it's a 12 day marathon of "where do you want to go?" "I don't know, where do you want to go?" "i don't know, where have we eaten lately that we liked?" "I don't know, let's go somewhere new." "like where?" "I don't know what do you think" "I don't know, what do you think?"

In a more perfect world people like this would die of starvation before they had a chance to breed. Lucky for us, humans don't cull the weak or the sick, they accommodate them with later serving hours.

After all our digging around, La Grolla won out simply because it was open and it got a good review from Dara Moskowitz. Oh Dara....I'm losing faith in you.

It definitely had that "cozy little italian place" going on, without having to resort to strands of garlic bulbs on the walls and fake salamis and cheeses hanging over the kitchen. Unfortunately, when I think 'cozy' I don't think '300 watt lightbulb 12 inches from my head trying to burn a hole through my vitreous humor". Turn down the lights a bit! I'm not saying dark and moody, just...less intense.

The waiter was nice he had his "flirt with the girl just a little but not too much while still talking up the guy" patter down. The menu was diverse with your old time italian standards, a good number of italian dishes you don't often see in your average italian place and then a few surprises here and there. The wine list was packed and varied, maybe a little too packed. Unfortunately, the mark up on the wine was obscene. Obviously there's mark up on a bottle, that's expected and accepted, but $8-9 bottles going for $30, $42 and even $50 was a bit much. These are good wines, these gems of the $10 and under world, but a mark up like that is...ugly.

The calamari came highly recommended to we ordered that and a salad of belgian endive, hearts of palm, fresh fennel and pecorino in a lemon vinaigrette. I loved the calamari, very light with a crisp puff and tender tender squid. The arrabiata sauce that accompanied had a fresh, almost undercooked flavor. I enjoyed the calamari, but I think David was somewhat unimpressed. The salad was consistently all one color (off white) but for the single radicchio leaf garnish. The salad was very light and crisp, the kind of thing you'd want to eat on a very hot summer evening just as the sun was going down. All of the ingredients worked well, but they just didn't 'POP'. It was missing one thing, but I'm not sure what that would have been, maybe orange vinaigrette, maybe candied pecans? I don't know. We'll place this salad in the "tasty but not memorable category"

We chose the Bonny Doon Sirah to go with dinner. I thought it went well, but was probably a tad heavy. It was perfect for the arrabiata sauce with the calamari.

David ordered the rigatoni alla matriciana. I only had one bite of his, but compared to what I ordered, I was not interested. I had the tagliatelle alla bolognese and I wanted to sit there all night slowly eating bite after bite. This was the perfect bolognese, not just some red sauce with meat. This was slow cooked, flavorful and almost creamy. I wanted to slam my face into the bowl and scream filthy things at my pasta, but perhaps it was the wine.

The problem with pasta dishes is that they are so hit or miss. I know never to order stuffed pasta as you with only get a few raviolis or manicotti artfully arranged to seem like more. Sometimes you get a dense bowl stuffed with pasta or sometimes you get what David got and end up joining the clean plate club a good 15 minutes before your partner. Poor guy, he had to sit there watching me eat all that and I was not exactly offering it up to share. No, this tagliatelle alla bolognese is MY DIRTY GIRL!!!!!!

also, there was a drunk guy at a table near us trying to not be obvious about the sexual references he was making but he was too drunk o realize that BJ isn't a sly code word that no one knows, especially when he yells "and there were no...BJs for him anymore!!". Indeed, the rest of the area was thinking, 'oh, poor guy, no more Ben and Jerry's' and not 'dang, a blow job is like the easiest thing to ask for, if he's not getting them then he must have really pissed her off' (this is one of the myriad reasons why I cannot be a professional food critic, I talk about blow jobs). The table next to me was 2 couples living vicariously through their children. The polite and genteel oneupmanship regarding the professional lives and childhood achievements was the best argument for stealth sterilization that I've heard in a long time. Also, if you could make a career out of name dropping, the dude next to me would be the Steve Forbes of talking about other people who knew other people. But don't forget these people, we'll get back to them momentarily.

Dessert. Is there any sweeter word in a fat girl's lexicon? I ordered the 'tulip' described as a cookie with mascarpone cream and fruit. The tulip was in fact a giant almond tuile formed into a bowl and filled with sweet mascarpone and fruit. Lovely. I wanted to order something small since I'd already consumed so much but here I was with another dish screaming for me to just stuff my face. David ordered the chocolate mousse and I was much impressed. definitely made fresh, by hand with very dark chocolate and not too much sugar. I had a bite of his then got mack to my cookie-bowl of love.

There was a slight mix up with the bills and we got to see what the vicarious parents were getting charged. 2 couples went to see a show and decided to go out after. One couple ate before the show and just ordered dessert. The other couple had not yet eaten and ordered entrees. When the entrees arrived one lady offered some of her chicken to the other lady to try. The other lady took some and tried it and said it was good. The waiter saw fit to hit them with the $3 split plate fee, a fee they slap on when you decide to get one entree for 2 people. I'm not a fan of this, but fine, you can say that you are charging for the extra work the kitchen has to do in dividing things on two plates and then the extra plate that has to be washed. In this case, they weren't splitting the entree, there was some 'trying' going on. There was no extra plate, the kitchen did no extra work. The restaurant listed the fair price for this entree and a person ordered it and when it arrived at her table it was hers to do with as she pleased. a split plate fee for a meal that was not split is asinine.

When we finally got our bill it was definitely higher than expected (but with no hidden charges, thankfully). The food was good, the service was lovely, but none of it was worth what we paid last night. Even our dinner at Al Vento for my birthday was cheaper than this and it was the same sort of deal, salad, appetizer, two entrees, two desserts, bottle of wine. The food at La Grolla was definitely delicious, but Al Vento has them beat by a mile for flavor and complexity.

So, while the food was good they need to drop the price a bit, dim the lights and stop charging stupid fees because we all know that the profit margin on pasta is huge. I'd definitely go back, but only if someone else was paying.

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September 8, 2007

This is the thing that is thing-like

It's 6:30pm and I have only consumed one apple and one americano. This has left me a little cranky and a tad irritable. Of course, the obvious solution is to eat something, but you know....

Actually, I've been forgetting to eat more and more often lately. So far my pants show no visible benefit to this new regime of coffee, carrots and utter forgetfulness.

In other (ravelry) related news (otherwise known as 'how I spent my money')

I am 3/4 of the way done with the Spiderweb Cardigan. I'm loving it, but I am hating my inability to put together an non-retarded seam. I made it in a light lime green. Weird? I don't know, we'll see.

I'm also working on my first of too many Pirate Hats. Since the pattern is in graph form it was too easy to convert to crochet after finding the right gauge and all. It whips up fairly easily, unless you aren't paying attention and forget that it's TWO decreases per iteration and then you have to rip out the top when you realize that it just doesn't seem to be closing up properly. Oh well, after the first one things always get better.

I picked up fiberfill so I could recommence with the weird dinosaur/prehistoric animal project. I found a pattern that would work perfectly for either an ammonite or orthocerus depending on how you finish it. Someone needs to have a nerd baby.

After my work on the pirate hats I decided that I could probably handle Fair Isle/Shetland/Norwegian patterns. I bought some wool yarn and I am going to make a felted purse using a repeated Norwegian chart. I cannot start that until I finish off a few things first.

I also picked up the yarn to do this pattern. I'm not sure why I like it so much (besides the fact that the pattern is dead easy). Everyone else gives me very guarded responses when i ask their opinions. I'll make it. If you later see a horrid big cowl sweater in a heather rose color at the Goodwill, you know what happened.

I need to go add arms to my cardigan and pull out a row of the pirate hat.

ps I wrote this post with my T key popped off. I hate when it does that.

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September 6, 2007

Sister Act

I've mentioned before that I do not have contact with the people who are my biological family. I don't really discuss the specifics and I won't start now. I have a family, the family that adopted me, and for all their quirks I love them dearly.

I have a biological sister, 2 years younger than me. We'd not spoken for 8 years. Last year, after much searching on her part she found me. She contacted me on an incredibly ironic day, the day I started seeing a psychiatrist for my overwhelming depression. The timing was so....strange to me.

Following my normal course of action on things like this, I kept everything at arms length. I'm not one to just jump in and go for it, I wait, feel things out, see how they unfold. One week after she contacted me, Ghengis was killed.

To say that November was a tumultuous month would be an understatement.

After some rough moments, misunderstandings about intent or emotions, my sister and I have set forth rediscovering each other. It's a strange process to say the least. People would think that if you have a blog you must want to share all aspects of your life, that you are an open book for all to read (or an attention who screaming for validation, i don't know). There is much I do not write here, there is much that I do not talk about. There is a lot that I do not share with anyone.

This has been difficult, having someone pop in and know you. She knows me, she knows who I was, but in 8 years I've changed. I do not always have the words or motivation to describe how I've changed.

On the other hand, she has also changed. She went from a younger sister, a 20 something chica who could party and joke and be young. I always saw her as young. In 8 years she's become a housewife and a mother. I have nephews. It's taken some time to process that.

The similarities are interesting, she loves to cook almost as much as I do. We have a similar sense of humor. She is a housewife with kids and that used to be a goal for me. We also have differences. Differences in the way we interact with people or view certain things.

And so, for almost a year, i've had this triumvirate of events wrapped around me, my psychiatrist, my sister and my ghengis. Each stressful and each liberating in their own way. Through much effort, my sister and I have been able to find a balance. A certain level of solid ground from which we can feel comfortable. For me it was not easy to allow into my life a person connected to a group of people, my biological family, that I had deliberately cut off. For her I imagine it was not easy to find that the long lost older sister was not celebratory, but cautious and suspicious. It's probably very hard to want to run to someone and embrace them only to find their arms out in front holding you back.

And so, after all these months I can say that I have another sister, her name is Brett. Now I can say that I have two sisters.

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September 2, 2007

It's not that I don't love you....

It's just that I love Ravelry a little more than you right now....

I'm just kidding. Suckers

Anyway, yeah, I'm all over Ravelry like the poopsmith on your droppings. Not only does it help me organize my projects, I can link to all kinds of things and get project ideas and I can talk to other crocheters!! I can spend time talking to other crocheters! Do you know what this means? This means I can be involved in a conversation about the yarn arts and not sit and listen to "knit knit knit knit we all knit knit knit why don't you knit"

I found a place where I belong!!!

But I'm not all gin and roses, oh no! Today, lets balance the love with a little hate. Let me talk about the bands or musicians that I can't stand! Having set up Pandora recently I've discovered that there is a whole world of crappy music just waiting for me (and a tiny island nation of good music).

1) Polyphonic Spree. Gimmicky gimmickness with a thick syrup of gimmick all over it. Why do you need 23 fucking people in the group? Why? Because you need a gimmick! Take off the robes, stop pretending to be all peace and love and go get punched in the face. 23 people? Come on, the only reason why you have 23 people in your group is because you know I'll get tired after punching 16 or 17 of you and you're drawing straws. YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF WIENERS!!!

2) Yo La Tengo. Why don't we all wear some earth tones, make some pleasant mellow music and then take a break to drink this special free trade organic tibetan herbal tea harvested by buddhist monks so devout they don't actually breath. You guys are also wieners but if I call you wieners you will probably just offer me some tea.

3) John Mayer. Long time readers already know of my deep seated hatred of John Mayer and his predilection for raping simile and metaphor. John Mayer, you are NOT a wiener, you are a wiener stain.

Dang, I'd love to share more, but I'm still happy from Ravelry. Ha!

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