The Velvet Cerebellum

Lemon Garlic seafood:
1 pound 31-40 count shrimp, cleaned and skewered
1 1/2 pounds mahi mahi, skin on

3 tbl roast garlic paste (roast garlic cloves run through FP with a bit of
olive oil)
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 tbl dried oregano

Marinate shrimp and fish in sauce.
grill

***

Nectarines with Gingered Chevre:
10 nectarines, split and pitted
8 oz chevre
1/4 crystallized ginger, chopped
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cardamom

blend chevre, ginger and spices in food processor (little bowl)
nectarines on the grill cut side down until the edges get charry (6-8
minutes?). flip. put a dollop of the cheese mix into the nectrine and finish
grilling until the cheese gets bubbly.

***

Grilled veggie salad:
1 loaf of french bread, thick sliced

2 zucchini, halved
2 yellow squash, halved
1 eggplant, quartered
4 carrots, halved
1 bunch green onion
1 head radicchio, halved
1 bell pepper, quartered

dressing
2 tbl Penzey's greek seasoning mixed in 2 tbl hot water (per directions on
package)
1 tbl (approx) basil chiffonade
1 tbl roast garlic paste (roasted garli cloves run through the FB with a bit
of olive oil)
1/2 cup olive oil
1/3 cup champaign vinegar

4 oz feta
1/2 cup toasted slivered almonds

blend dressing and put aside

toast bread on grill and put aside

grill and char veggies to taste.
Chop the veggies (when cooled a bit), toss with feta and almonds.
Add dressing, just as much as you need, you'll have some left over.

serve on the toasted bread to allow the bread to soak up the dressing.

***

Salsa verde:

2 pounds tomatillos
1 bunch cilantro
4 cloves garlic
1 bunch green onion
1 anaheim pepper
2 jalapenos
2 tbl lime juice
tabasco to taste
pinch of cinnamon

chop everything. blend in food processor.
Salt to taste. refrigerate over night to allow flavors to blend.

and for dessert I grilled up some fresh pineapple and served it on vanilla ice
cream. We had mexican soda (limon, mandarina y tamarindo), honey bush iced tea, and Leinies Sunset Wheet beer (my new favorite beer).

Now that everyone is gone I just want to shove salsa verde in my mouth until i die. I don't need no herdez!!! I love my salsa verde (now that i finally worked out a recipe I like).

Posted by Heather at 7:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

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I miss my sister a lot.

She had one of her after work parties at her place and I realized when i showed up that I'd not seen her for most of the summer. She works different hours from me, she works evenings and weekends and when she does finally get time off she needs to deal with stuff. I'm working and traveling and too focused on my own stuff to remember to make time.

I need to make a vow to commit to making more time for my sister.

If for no other reason than I love to grab her ass when she least expects it.

Posted by Heather at 1:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

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I was just thinking the other day about how strange it is that I rarely drink anymore. I almost always limit myself to social drinking and even then go with weak drinks and lots of water. I've gotten tipsy no more than 3 times in the last year and full on drunk maybe once or twice.

It's not like I made this decision, or more specifically, I see it more as just a natural progression. I just don't drink so much.

Of course I'm thinking about this yesterday and what do i do to prove my point? Consume an entire bottle of german wine with dinner. A dinner I ate by myself.

So much for not drinking in excess anymore or only drinking socially.

On the bright side, i didn't really get drunk, just tipsy. It's not like gerwurtztraminer is a strong wine.

I'm off to clean more to get ready for the festivities tomorrow. Seriously, you DO want to show up. there's gonna be a buttload of interesting food.

Posted by Heather at 3:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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I'm the kind of person who would drink a gerwurtztraminer with a green curry!

Yeah, bitches! I stood there in front of the wine rack trying to pick a wine. the gerwurtztraminer seemed kinda tacky but I was in the mood. Then I got all uppity standing there. I can drink whatever fucking wine I want!!!
and I did.

and it was good.

So was the curry.

Posted by Heather at 10:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

I woke up this morning to find that some time in the night ghengis had gotten up and taken a series of bloody shits on the carpet.

Now, two things:
1) how did I know it was ghengis and not maddie since maddie has a history of shitting blood and ghengis does not? well, first of all, a dog owner knows her dog's poop. I mean I hate to be graphic, but really it's too late. Secondly, maddie has a gigantic asshole and as such tends to leave fewer but larger deposits. Ghengis has a dime slot for a butthole and that was in evidence in the um...evidence

2) what the fuck is going on that I have 2 dogs shit blood in such a short period of time? Yeah, it took me by surprise too! Then I started to think about the common factors between the two situations. They're eating different food than they were when maddie had her episode. They play with different toys, ghengis chews hard things, maddie squeezes stuffed animals. What IS common is that they were both on Cephalexin before this happened, maddie on it for her feet and ghengis for his ear infection. I think it's pretty safe to say that Cephalexin will cause your dog to shit blood on your carpet.

It's pretty clear now that jesus hates me. It's made better by the fact that I have access to borrow for free the industrial carpet cleaner with the kick ass cleaning chemicals. This thing cleans carpets in dorms for fuck sake. Anything that can clean, and survive, a dorm carpet can handle this.

it does mean I had to postpone my bbq to sunday afternoon. So, if anyone wants roasted veggie salad on grilled bread (sort of a panzanella fresca), skewered shrimp, grilled stone fruit with goat cheese and pancetta, and vanilla ice cream with grilled pineapple let me know! Sunday at 1pm. There will be beer.

Posted by Heather at 5:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

I was out running errands (buying yarn for mary's baby blanket, teddy bears, pink bunnies, and a crocheted version of Boots from Dora the explorer and also buying something for dinner) and I noticed a weird pinching sensation in my pants.

a weird pinching sensation IN my pants, kind of under my butt.

So I do what any normal minnesotan does, i surrepticiously check to make sure my pants aren't ripped in some weird way and then ignore it and go on with my business.

I get home, visit the restroom and discover the problem. Earlier in the evening I'd been in the bathroom making music and chewing gum. My gum was old and without flavor so I tossed it in the toilet, or so I presumed it was my toilet. I had, in fact, tossed it in my pants and then sat on it, drove around on it, purchased yarn with it and cunfused the dude at Panera on it.

Does anyone have any tips on how to removed completely smashed in gum from the inside of jeans?

Posted by Heather at 7:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

post vacation depression.

It's pretty damned hard to sit in front of a pile of invoices and try to get them paid when all you really want to do is try to figure out how you can spend the rest of your life snorkeling and eating beignets.

Posted by Heather at 9:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

Mark Twain called New Orleans and upholstered sewer. I always called it a dirty lady with a pretty dress.

Well her dress has been pushed up over her knees. It's tattered, worn, even torn in a few places but she's back. She's going out every night making money. A little cheap make up on the bruises and she's almost as pretty...if the street lights are dim.

And they're always a little dim.

She's a filthy lady, she's dirty deep down inside, but she works hard and she works alone. People have tried to pimp her, unionize her and franchise her, but New Orleans works for no one and can never be conformed or duplicated. She's walking the boulevard with a limp right now, but she's proud and it keeps her spine straight.

You can love her, buy her gifts and sacrifice your good health and well being to her an hour at a time and she'll whisper in your ear and fill your mouth and knock you cold. She has a story to tell you but you have to ply her, cajole and caress her. She'll tell you her story, but the price is steep.

She's a beautiful lady, New Orleans, a fiery slut with good manners, the kind of girl you only let your mom meet briefly for fear your secrets will be spilled.

Posted by Heather at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

I am home.

The temperature is actually higher here than in New Orleans but I would bet 8.5 million dollars that it FEELS cooler here, that it is more comfortable here than there.

Not that I can get comfortable with this sunburn.

Okay, so where did I leave off?

Saturday
Saturday was one of those days where we did very little and cared very little. It was a day of decompression. The highlights of the day included bug-hunting for the anoles, discovering that the "Mochasippi" blended frozen coffee drink at CC's has only 90 calories which is like 8 billion fewer calories than the frappuccino! Adding sugar free hazelnut syrup added like 10 calories to the mix. It seems a little odd that after a week of scarfing down gumbo, sausages, ribs, jambalaya, beignets and god knows what else, I'd be concerned about the calories in my coffee drink. I'm a bubbo and it's my prerogative to not make sense and to care very little about that.

So, David and his dad hammered out a plan for David and I to take the boat out on Sunday. The motor had just been repaired and needed to be installed. Sunday came around...

Sunday
Smithers was right, women and seamen don't mix! Seems I'm bad luck on the sailboat. As they were lowering the motor into place one of the handles snapped off and the whole thing fell into the marina. Saltwater is immediate death to all those little engine parts and they debated if they even wanted to retrieve it. My silent vote was for "no". That water in the marina was stagnant and filthy and the last thing I wanted was for David to go into that foul stew of disease.

But of course he volunteered to go in and dive for the motor. Luckily, the marina is not all that deep. Unluckily, as he was climbing down the ladder the little notched supports snapped and the whole ladder fell off the boat and he fell into the water. I was very proud at how I did not freak out or scream!

They got the motor up and cleaned and back into the van to go get repaired so our plans to sail were scratched.

Instead, David's dad took us out for Mexican food and sangria.

David's dad is faculty at The Gulf Coast Research Lab (you can see him here) and as such he has access to the faculty apartments that they keep open for faculty that live out of town (which he does). He invited us to stay the night, but I declined. I didn't really have a change of clothes with me for the next day as we were going to be sailing and no one cares what you look like on a sailboat, especially of the other person is your boyfriend. David and I had to run back to the sailboat to get some things for our Monday plans and he called again to offer the apartment. This time, there was some confusion and we were under the impression that we would have our own apartment to ourselves and I agreed thinking "hell yeah, a night without parental supervision!".

Yeah, miscommunication, bummer. We shared the place with his dad but luckily he let david and I have the big bed and he took the smaller one.

Monday
We got up bright and early and had college center cafeteria breakfast and David and I headed out to Gulfport to catch the ferry out to West Ship Island. It was amazing. I wish I could describe everything in detail. A thunderstorm rolled in and chased everyone out of the water and into shelter except for David and I. We were adventurous or stupid? Only history answers these questions.

I fell in love with snorkeling once I got the hang of it, but we lost both snorkels in short order (they don't float...why wouldn't you make a snorkel that floated?). There was a great big crab in the water being pushed around by the waves and he kept threatening the current with his big claws. I saw a jellyfish a little smaller than my fist, David saw one bigger than that. The hermit crabs were plentiful under our feet and we picked them up and said "hi" as often as possible. I learned the hard way that nematocysts break off jellyfish all the time and will still sting you so occasionally you will be happily swimming along and you will get a singular jellyfish sting from a stinger no longer on a jellyfish. I found this out 5 or 6 times. I also found out that these things are so tiny they can easily get in your bathing suit.

The whole time we were swimming and playing in the water a sheepshead fish named Walter hung out by us. Anytime we went under he was there swimming not more than a few inches away. I'm pretty sure he hung out with us because we would stir things up from the bottom.

The coolest thing I saw was a porpoise that jumped out of the water not more than 36 inches from me. It was so cool and so fast I just could not react.

When we were alone in the water David took me, floated me on my back and swam me all over the place. It was so perfectly peaceful to have his arms around me as we floated over the waves and watched the storm roll over us. Very truly, I did not want that moment to ever end.

But end it did. We walked down the shore for a while and dug up the clams with our toes and watched them burrow back under the sand. If you dig the clams up and then keep your feet in the wet sand under them, they will burrow between your toes.

He took off exploring while I played in the surf and came running back with a giant horseshoe crab shell.

So sweet that way.

After the ferry ride back we met his dad at the sailboat with the newly washed and repaired motor which they installed with no problem. I sat on the dock and cooked an MRE using the special water activated heating bag.

And marvelled at how sunburned we'd gotten.

Tuesday
I cried in the car. I didn't want to leave David again.

But I cheered up once I got my Mochasippi and we met Holly Peach for brunch at Stanley's (the casual version of Stella! located around the block, same chef/owner). The food was excellent as was most of the stuff I'd eaten on this trip.

New Orleans is a place of magic, truly, the proof of which is the magic that brought me tgether with Holly Peach. How the hell else do you explain suddenly becoming fast friends with a person you met out of coincidence? Magic. The magic of new orleans is the yin to the gutter filth yang, it is the balance. It is what makes the city different from atlanta or houston which have the filth but not the magic.

Then I flew home. The trip was mostly uneventful. There was a hang up in atlanta and my flight was delayed but I was not so worried, these things happen. My dad and Kit bought me dinner and I blabbed on about fish and lizards and gumbo and sunburn and all that. and they listened patiently because they are good that way.

And the dogs missed me., and I missed them, and I missed my home and I am glad.

Posted by Heather at 10:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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It's a grey morning and I am sunburnt as hell. It hurts to move.

But the time has come to say goodbye to this city I've always loved. Goodbye wild anoles, funny smells and the most ungodly bad for you but so so delicious food ever.

When I get home I will write about my experiences with the sailboat, snorkeling in the gulf with porpoises, and whatever else I can think of.

Also, I'll probably write about how much I miss David since he's staying for a little while longer.

ah well, time to stop being maudlin and start trying to force a bra on over my sunburn. ow.

ps: Owen, the ocean did something nasty to my hair color....HELP
pps: pictures updated. go look at bugs and crabs and baby lizards

Posted by Heather at 8:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

The thing about the bayou is that there are bugs. Really large bugs. Really big, extremely populous bugs. They're everywhere and they're loud as hell. Of course, they are what keep the anoles and tree frogs and geckos fed, so I don't mind.

Okay, I know I need to catch up on highlights since you've gone and assumed I'm dead....

Tuesday
David took me for a sunset ride to the estuary marsh. Past the rigolets we discovered the egret sleeping place. It's an island covered in giant white birds going "grawk...grawk....graaaawk...GRAWK...grawkgrawkgrawkgraaaaawk ...GRAAAAAAAWK". Sadly, it was just a little too dark for the photo to turn out. The ride was peaceful and romantic and sighworthy.

After our ride we met up with Marshall and I got to see the cool claymation movies he and David made when they were in high school. After that we fed moths to the venus fly trap.

Wednesday
The chillitude of Tuesday was completely counteracted by the busy-ness of Wednesday. First off, we had to get up butt early after getting to bed ass late. We had to get up super early to make the long trek out to the Global Wildlife center so we could catch the 9am tour which would allow us to be out amongst the animals before the heat got too overwhelming AND get us back to town by 12:30 to have lunch with David's mom and a family friend. It required a lot of hustling and bustling and coffee.

The Global Wildlife center rocked so hard I feel like I got rocked twice and then slapped on my bare butt! The pictures are posted to the right. You get on the tram and you get your cups of pelletized feed and you're off. The place is mostly full of hoofed animals and flightless birds, they all know the tram and they do Pavlov proud by immediately running up to it, begging for food. Most of them you feed from your cup to avoid getting bitten (they don't mean to bite, but you now) but the camels, llamas and giraffes you can feed from your hand. Sadly, the giraffes were playing shy and wouldn't come near us, but everything else showed up as expected. It was so much fun to see all the animals getting all goofy for food, and I'm pretty sure that most of the world could live on pelletized food. If you go, and I SUPER RECOMMEND that you go, make sure you buy more than one cup of food. David and I got 3 cups to share between us and we found we had to conserve at the end. The family groups on the tour bought buckets of it, if I brought my kids (If I had kids) I'd go with the bucket.

After the GWC we headed back to Slidell and I had my first real battle with the heat. I spent about 20 minutes seriously considering vomiting everywhere! But then we got to the restaurant and chilled and drank lots of iced tea and things got better.

Marshall called and wanted to know if we wanted to meet him and Holly Peach and Ben and Stephanie for a movie. Ahoy, of course I did, I love popcorn! As we were driving into New Orleans we got caught in the most massive storm I'd ever seen outside of Texas. The city was completely obliterated and visibility was probaby measured in negative feet. It was so strange and a little scary. Luckily we parked in the ramp connected to the theatre so we didn't have to walk in it.

We saw "A Scanner Darkly" and I really liked it. I was apathetic at first, I'm fairly apathetic about Linklater and I'm opposed to gimicky shit in movies for the most part. Gimmicky shit doesn't ruin the movie, it is just a great big giant signal to me that all the effort went into the gimmick and not a bit of it went into plot or script or anything like that. I was pleasantly surprised, they did a great job with the film, the script was interesting and the plot moved along. A tad predictable but thoroughly enjoyable.

Afterwards the six of us headed over to Zots to chill play scrabble, chain smoke and talk about the mexican health care system and my plan to get a "yield" traffic sign tattoed above my ass.

And it should be mentioned that the delightful Holly Peach brought me candy! Sweet sweet candy! Pez dispensers, candy bracelets and "Tool Pops: the lollipop play tool"! Could I love her any more? probably not.

Thursday
We spent the day on Thrusday hunting baby anoles after David set up their special home with live plants and a liner and all that. We caught two babies, super cute and super tiny and we're feeding them little moths and bugs and hoping things go well.

We took David's mom out to the brew pub in Abita Springs where Abita beer is made. The food was most excellent, though I regretted my bbq ribs after I saw David's stuffed eggplant.

We stopped by and chatted with Marshall for a bit, while we were standing outside a very giant beetle flew around and landed on my ass. I very calmly announced "it landed on my ass...get it off my ass"

David and I stayed out late driving around again. He's very romantic

Friday
David took me to the aquarium today. It's my third trip there and it's still exciting. I love the fish. On the way there we stopped to get po boy sandwiches. Now, here's the problem with the po boy, they usually come in 5 or 10 inch sizes, at most places you want to get a 10 inch po boy, it makes a good, filling sandwich, but every once in a while you order a 10 in from a place that packs in more fried shrimp than the law allows. that was my sandwich today, a 10 inch french roll, stuffed to bursting with 47 pounds of breaded, fried shrimp. It was delicious, but I could barely eat half. David's 10 inch oyster po boy was just as huge, so huge in fact that he was unable to finish mine and he always finishes my food for me.

The aquarium was up and running again, there were a few missing exhibits and the jellyfish section was missing the larger jellies from before, but all in all, I was happy to see them back in business. Also, the gigantic white alligator actually moved! The last two times I was there he was so immobile that I was convinced he was dead and stuffed, you never even saw him breathing. Today, not only were his eyes blinking but he actually got up and walked around! The damned thing got up and walked around his area.

Afterward we headed over to the Villa Convento and hung out with Holly Peach and Oyster the Official Dog of the Villa Convento. The thing I love about the south is that you can bring your dogs everywhere with you. if it weren't for the overwhelming heat and humidity and gigantic bugs and hurricanes, i'd want to live here.

Holly Peach recommended that we check out the Hookah cafe, a full on hooka bar, for dinner. as we walked over there we met a man with two fatty shar peis and we talked dogs! His dogs were so so so cute and fat.

The Hookah Cafe had excellent food, mostly tapas to share and a wide range of flavored tobaccos and hooka pipes. We did not partake in the hookah pipes, but we did enjoy the food, except for the dessert, their idea of a crepe was compacted sawdust and the twisted souls of inquisition underlings. A crepe should be a light, eggy, springy experience, it should never be tough to cut, thick, dense or otherwise overly chewy. Oh well, the fried chevre dumplings more than made up for it.

We wandered through the french quarter and stopped at cafe du monde for au laits and beignets.

It was one of those days where you stop and evaluate things. I'm so lucky to have David, he's sweet and kind and he has worked so hard to make sure I get to do and see all the things I want on this trip. I am so very glad I came down here to see him.

Posted by Heather at 11:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

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My days have been spent hunting anoles, geckos and frogs. That would explain why all the pictures I have are of anoles, geckos, frogs and the likes. Sorry.

Yesterday, however, in the midst of all my nature hunting and documenting, I saw a big blue dragonfly capture a big green dragonfly in mid air, wrestle it to the ground and then commence to chew it apart while it struggles. This resulted in me on my hands and knees with my face inches from the ground. Most people come down here for the liquor and crawfish, I come down for the insectual cannibalism.

Last night, we went into town with Marshall. We had dinner at Coop's Place, a little dive in the French Quarter. It was just a little bar but the food was phenomenol. One thing after another I ate and was stunned, seafood gumbo, rabbit and sausage jumbalaya, shrimp creole, red beans and rice and fried chicken. Amazing. My body, however, is screaming out for green veggies! The last green veggie I ate was iceberg lettuce in the Atlanta airport! There's half a head of kale in the fridge...

Anyway, Holly came to visit us at Coop's. 'Just for 5 minutes' she says, oh yeah just five minutes. She spent almost 7 hours with use. 5 minutes my ass. But I was thrilled to meet and spend the evening with Holly, she's a peach, a plum, a pear and a gingersnap all rolled up together. We ate and drank and laughed and closed down the bar. They even played Semisonic's 'Closing Time' which made me a tad homesick.

We left the bar and headed over to the hotel that Holly's family owns. I am a retard and I forgot the name of it (it's kitty corner from the Ursulines Convent) and I forgot to take photos! I think my favorite moment was walking out onto a 4th floor balcony and looking out over the rooftops of the French Quarter. It was so beautiful and peaceful.

Eventually we said our goodnights and drove back to Slidell, making it into bed sometime before sunrise!

I'm posting more pictures but they're all of lizards and frogs and dogs.

Better pictures soon!

Posted by Heather at 4:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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a quick rundown so far

• Gettin up at to the airport at ass o clock in the morning
  
• The priciest amricano and the shittiest salad ever at the atlanta airport during my layover
  
• Airtran is not so concerned about time. They leave when they want, they arrive when they want and they tend to list arbitrary lengths of time for their flights.
  
• My 3 favorite people at the Atlanta airport: 1) the japanese tourist in the "Kiss me, I grill" t-shirt, 2) the woman who demolished 4 (FOUR!!) bloody marys in the time it took me to eat my salad. She had been there since before I arrived and did not leave the bar until our flight got called, so who knows how many she actually drank! 3) the little girl in the stall next to me with her mom. As she was getting ready to pee her mom asker her where her underpants went, the girl replied "I lost them" the mom pointed out that she had given her new underpants to put on that morning and the girl reiterated "I LOST THEM, MOM!".
  
• Really really really happy to see David!
  
• Tasty italian food
  
• Missed David in the worst way, so glad to see him
  
• Red beans and rice!
  
• Geckos, tree frogs, anolis which are way cool
  
• The chico frogs (named by me) which go "chico chico chico Chico CHICO CHICO CHICO CHICO CHICO CHICO CHICO!" all together but not in any sort of rhythm.
  
• Went to Marshall's house and saw the geckos and the dogs. Marshall's dogs are super super cute! I'm totally going to steal them from him.
  
• It is so so so hot here, pretty sure I'm going to die.
  

Posted by Heather at 2:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

gone gone gone
I get on a plane in 6.5 hours and that plane will take me to new orleans (actually, it will take me to atlanta, a different plane will take me to new orleans...or it will crash in a desolate field in southern illinois).

11 days of sailing, food, fun, and especially David. I can't believe I miss him so much.

anyway. I'm off. I'll update as I can.

Posted by Heather at 12:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

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I am still not sure why I did it, but I did and while I don't necessarily regret doing it, i do acknowledge it was not the best course of action for me to take.

I started my morning with my 4 shot americano like i do every morning. I finished it about the time we headed out for lunch. on the way back, Levi was in the mood for coffee so we stopped at the Spyhouse. Last time we were there I bought him a coffee so this time he bought me a coffee. I got the 'spychaser' a lovely drink described as "4 shots of espresso, chocolate and cold press coffee over ice'.

What the beelzefuck what I thinking? What? tell me! tell me what I was thinking.

I was so wired this afternoon I was going crazy. I kept things moderately in check until my boss left, then things devolved to the point where Anna and I were physically wrestling over a book of matches and she ended up covered in water (I won because I fight dirty and have no problem with drooling on her arm).

A vendor called to set up a shipping date for something we ordered and she and I ended up all 'BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH' at each other.

I almost hugged the semi-amish lady in front of me at the grocery store. She was so funny and nice and talkative. I was so in love with her and I didn't know why. I wanted to tell her how much I appreciated the wholesome choices she'd made and an how important it was for everyone to just step back and not let technology take over our lives. Then I realized that as charming as she was she probably didn't want a hug from a sweaty purple haired weeble who was blathering on about things that just didn't make any sense at all. Mostly we talked about crocheting and the cost of salamis.

Okay, now I have to do dishes and clean the fridge and do laundry!

Posted by Heather at 7:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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There are new photos up on my crafty photoblog. I posted a lot of what I finished this week. There are a few things I've not posted yet as they still need to be mailed to their recipients.

I also started my sister's birthday present and so far I am very pleased with it.

It was a quiet evening. Alan came over to revel in the AC and we had pizza and watched movies. It was the calm evening I needed before my big trip.

Posted by Heather at 12:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

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Man, what the hell happened to turn the world on end? everything is wrong, so very very wrong.

Why is it that I am sitting at lunch with my coworkers and I'm telling them about the bag I'm crocheting and one of them tells us about the free show his stripper girlfriend and her coworker put on for him the night before. How did this happen? How did roles change so much?

whatever, I'm gonna post this and crochet a purse for a little canadian girl.

Posted by Heather at 9:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

I'm leaving town in a couple days and the dogs decide to pick NOW to get ear infections. What the hell? Right? SERIOUSLY!! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL.

Each dog has an ear infection, but each dog is infected with something different. Maddie has her typical yeast infection, she gets them regularly enough. Ghengis has a bacterial infection. Lucky Emily gets to clean their ears and put drops in twice a day!

Tell me again why I have dogs, because I'm forgetting.

OH!! Also!! I fixed the massive accounting problem that had been plaguing me this week!! YAY!! and holy shit that hurt my head. On the other hand I finally learned the difference between a budget transfer and a journal entry! So, yay me!

Posted by Heather at 5:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

Okay, so my iPod got stolen today, I've had a headache and a handache and I had to wrap my brain around painfully complex accounting problems. Today, not such a good day...

This evening, however, was completely different. I went to Owens, we ate cheap chinese food and I have a lavender head with a violet fauxhawk running down the middle. New hair will make anyone feel better, and I especially love going to Owen's because I leave there feeling beautiful, not beautiful in a model kind of way but beautiful on my own terms. Beautiful with purple hair and a pound of confidence.

Also, I got to meet Chica, the coolest chow-chow on the planet. She was so sweet!

Okay, it's late, I'm off to bed.

ps if you would like me to make a bunny, teddy bear or stuffed doll for a christmas gift for you to give to someone, please let me know ASAP. I have a lot of crochet projects between now and the end of the year and I need to plan ahead.

Posted by Heather at 12:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

I love the earth and I loe all the people on the earth. Really. I do. No shit.

I specifically love whoever stole my iPod out of my car.

I take responsibility for it, I didn't lock my car last night. I was carrying a bunch of stuff and didn't lock it up. Usually, not such a big deal, this isn't a high crime neighborhood. They took nothing else, they didn't go through the glove box or anything, they just took my iPod and the FM transmitter.

I'm like an A-1 dipshit or something.

Fuck.

Posted by Heather at 8:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

It was just one of those days. Construction between my house and the doctor's office in St Paul. The ramp I park in was closed for upgrades. The new ramp was blocks away. The new ramp did not accept validation from the clinic. I had no cash on me. My car has no air conditioning. They took 47,000 pints of blood after 20 minutes of "blind phlebotomist looking for vein".

I should have stayed in bed. Or better yet gone to work and whined.

On the other hand....
The yarn shop is buying my messenger bag pattern. I need to put the finishing touches on this one, post pics and get it to my coworker (who is paying me for it). Then, after I get back from new orleans I'll make the messenger bag for the yarn shop and sell them the pattern. This time I am just licensing the pattern to them so I can sell it in other places as well.

They're also doing a series of projects comparing knit to crochet results using the same pattern. I'll be doing most of the crochet work of them. Nice.

Just about finished up Mary Alice's scarf. Mary Alice is moving to Alaska this week and I am greatly saddened by this. She's such a doll. I made her a chenille scarf in a basketweave pattern. Pictures posted of that soon as well.

I'e eaten nothing today. I think I deserve a burrito.

Posted by Heather at 8:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

This is my latest project, Lopsided Bunny! He's my first stuffed animal.

See how cute he is!

He even has a puff tail

and he's very saucy!

A great big special thanks to Crochet Me for the pattern and instruction. Next up, I'll be making teddy bears, little girls with purple hats and maybe hippos.

Soon I will post pics of the new bags I made as well. The messenger bag turned out better than I would have expected.

Posted by Heather at 3:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

I just woke up from 2 seperate dreams in which I was a prodigious serial killer. I was like a super serial killer. Both dreams, however, mostly took place after I was caught, in the first dream I killed 2 people, later, when I was caught, I found out I had actually killed 127 people! WOW!!!

In the second dream I was living in a special house with 2 cops. They were supposed to keep me from killing again since I actually had no recollection of killing anyone. I found out in the dream that I had killed over 800 people! What the hell. This is why I love dream logic. In the real world it's physically impossible to be a serial killer and kill over 800 people. There's a threshold, a limit, once you hit a certain number you change from 'serial killer' to 'fascist dictator with weird mustache'. Also, in real life, if you manage to kill over 800 people on 800 seperate occasions (we're not talking about firebombing a night club here) and don't remember any of them, they don't just set you up in a happy little house with a maid and a puppy and 2 gruff but concerned cops! They kill your ass in some spectacular way.

In my dreams I am everything I cannot be in real life. In my dreams I am prodigious and successful and hardworking.

Posted by Heather at 10:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

Ready? Here we go...

Step 1: Get a cool drink
Step 2: Take your pants off
Step 3: Click here and feel the joy.

Posted by Heather at 10:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

Shrimp Snuffy

1/2 pound 16/20 count shrimp
2 tbl Garlic Black Bean sauce
2 tbl lime juice
1 tbl sriracha sauce
1 tbl honey

vegetables

rice

Mix black bean sauce, lime juice, sriracha and honey. Toss with shrimp and let it sit for 10 minutes. Stir fry shrimp with with veggies and serve on rice.

Feed some of the shrimp to the dogs.

Posted by Heather at 8:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

Tonight the lovely Mary came over for dinner. Mary is having a baby in 3 months which has me way excited making little baby things!

Tonight for dinner I brined a couple pork chops and then rubbed them with Penzey's Galena rub and threw them on the grill. I softened half a stick of butter, added chili powder and lime juice and used that to baste the corn on the cob which was also on the grill. I served that with a salad of greens, tomato and chevre with a mustard vinaigrette (made with homemade mustard) and rosemary, sundried tomato focaccia.

The brining kept the pork chops juicy and flavorful, they were wonderful.

For dessert I served the mexican chocolate ice cream that I posted earlier and we sauced it with the raspberry sauce she made from the raspberries in her yard.

I ate til it hurt and the food was delicious. I still have half a loaf of focaccia! Someone come help me eat it.

Posted by Heather at 9:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

Why is it that I automatically answer any "where" question with "in my pants". It's so ingrained in me.

"Where's my mom?"
"In my pants"

"Where will it stop"
"in my pants"

"Where is the best place to purchase cut rate semi-precious jewels besides the black market?"
"in my pants, bitch"

Posted by Heather at 5:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

1) We booked my tickets to New Orleans this evening! I'm very excited again. I love New Orleans.

2) And here is a recipe for you:

Mexican Chocolate Ice Cream

2 disks Abuelita chocolate, chopped
2 cups heavy cream
2 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
1 cup milk
2 tbl brewed espresso

heat cream to simmer, add to chopped chocolate and whisk until the chocolate
is dissolved. Chill to cold.
Beat eggs and sugar until the sugar is dissolved, to ribbon stage. Add milk
and espresso.
Add egg mixture to chocolate mixture. Mix well.
Freeze in your ice cream maker.

3) The dogs have taken to fighting over rawhides. Assholes.

4) Lily, you are a dear, sweet, wonderful girl. Don't forget it.

Posted by Heather at 9:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

David misses me.
I miss David.

I'm going down to see him! Hopefully in two weeks!
Very excited, can't wait to see New Orleans again. The aquarium is open and so is the zoo! and I need to find out if Liuzzas is open again as well.

I miss David a lot.

Posted by Heather at 12:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

I'm still tweaking the colors and any feedback would be appreciated. I really like the grey background here next to the pink but my suspicion is that it won't be all that popular. Yes? No? let me know, you are the ones who have to read it.

Owen called me tonight to invite me out to a drink. It was lovely and perfect. We'd both been home alone for too long, we were going batty. It hadn't even occured to me how batty I was getting until we got together. Perhaps the fact that I was scrubbing the bathroom at one in the morning should have been an indicator that I needed more human contact.

Or maybe the fact that I shunned all human contact and declined all invites for the fourth so i could stay at home and perfect my sausage recipe. I got problems, I really do.

Posted by Heather at 12:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

New host, new design. Pink.

Many of you might recognize the banner.

That's the invite that Jessi designed for my housewarming party. I'd been racking my brains trying to come up with a design for the page. Things were hopeless and I was thinking about just buying a template. I surprised myself, though. After getting permission from Jessi I threw the image in photoshop and started working.

Then I got all frustrated because I don't actually know anything about making graphics or designing things. Then I got really frustrated because I didn't even know how to move the graphic around.

Then I realized how retarded I was. I work at an art college. I work with people who know how to do these things. A few minutes with Emily and Levi and I got it all figured out. Building the template was another piece of frustration, but I think we got it all worked out.

at least for now.

I need to figure out how to get more padding at the bottom of the boxes to the right, change a couple background colors and set up the photoblog. Easy.

Thanks to everyone who helped me pound out the issues. I'm still not done. It gives me a headache.

Posted by Heather at 8:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

I am testing the photoblog feature...

Posted by Heather at 9:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

Once again this morning I was grateful I had dogs instead of kids. I mean beyond the standard "my dogs will never deal drugs, watch anime porn or deplete the greater Wichita metropolitan area of it's itinerant worker population using a crude but effective shiv he formed himself using an empty Schlitz can".

No, this morning it was a much cruder sentiment. First, let me set up. On the weekends I keep my alarm clock on for the same time it goes off during the week. I don't necessarily get up with it, but I find that if I wake up once in the morning then it prevents me from sleeping til 3 in the afternoon and wasting my day.

Anyway, the alarm goes off this morning at 7am the way it always does. I lay there for a bit trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and why the hell am I dreaming about delayed shuttle launches. Slowly it seeps in that the alarm is going off, it's not monday, if I turn it off I can go back to sleep! Huzzah for the shopkeep!

I own a king sized bed, a big bed, I can't just reach the alarm from where I sleep (sprawled out across the middle) I must roll to it. As luck would have it, Ghengis is quite often between me and the alarm if David isn't there. I rolled my doughy fatitude over him, hit the alarm and went back to sleep. Ghengis reacted by making his mudgeon noise, stretching and cuddling into my back.

Ghengis won't remember it at all.

Now, if I had a child who somehow managed to get in my bed and I was naked (which I wouldn't be if my kid was in my bed, but let's just go with the model as it stands), if ghengis were a child (a human child) I suspect that they would react in the same way initially and then...

then 20 years later you would find the full grown version of that child lying fetal on the kitchen floor and weeping, a can of Pilsbury biscuit dough exploded on the counter. This sudden trigger of memory will cost me thousands in therapy bills.

Dogs are better than kids!

Posted by Heather at 4:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

« June 2006 | Main | August 2006 »

I adore my Aunt Sue. I really do.

My mom is the oldest of 6 siblings and her sister Sue is the youngest. There is a 17 year difference between them and a mere 4 year difference between Sue and I. As such, being so close in age I feel more like peers...more like friends.

But the reality is that my aunt Sue is light years ahead of me in the maturity department. 5 kids, a husband, college, working. All those grown up responsible things that I never managed to master completely. If I could work even 1/10 as hard as she does I might actually be able accomplish something with my life!

We talked this morning and it always cheers me to talk to her. She's smart and funny, she has an incredible perspective on the world. An insight that i could do well to learn. When I say "It confuses me that this person would do this. It seems so out of character." She counters with an insight I'd not previously considered. She gives me distance and clarity on the world and I appreciate that.

Sue and I used to party when we were college aged, she taught me how to make colorado bulldogs (jesus, how did I survive drinking those???) and I hoisted my kitchen experiments on her (which she ate without complaint). I'm sad she lives so far away now, my cooking has improved considerably and we don't drink to excess anymore. We'd have great fun.

Anyway, not much else going on. Spending my weekend cleaning, doing laundry and eating to excess.

Posted by Heather at 12:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

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