The Velvet Cerebellum

Here's the promised happiness...

Breakfast was tasty. Is it still breakfast at 1:30pm?? Who cares? Breakfast was good!

Sometimes, even if you feel like you have a lot to do and a lot to get done you should still curl up together on the sofa for a little bit. It's very nice. It's a comfort.

The dog park...also nice. Not many dogs today with the chilled weather and threat of rain and snow. Ghengis ran like this would be the last day he could ever run again. He ran like a mad dog. Today we met another shar-pei mix dog and it was funny how similar they were even though this dog was much taller and all that.

Speaking of shar-pei mixes, I came this close || to buying a shar-pei/basset hound mix puppy yesterday!!!! Oh holy crap! I know I know I know I can't have another puppy but still I go to PetFinder every once in a while and look up the shar-pei mix dogs up for adoption. Sigh, some day I will get Ghengis a little buddy. I would have named the new puppy Lily.

And on with the happiness...Mel-O-Glaze!! I was over by the bakery and decided to pop in to check the place out and also get a doughnut and coffee. The place is crazy and tasty and weird. I can't describe the vibe in there, but I know I'm going to be there all the time and I will be writing about it a lot. We realized as we were ordering that they did not have a credit card machine and I almost never carry cash. We asked if they took cards and she replied, "we take IOU's, send me a check". I loved her, I'd never been in there before, she'd never seen me before and she was willing to just accept an IOU from me. Of course, this is probably not the best way to do business, I know I'd totally pay, but i know a lot of people who wouldn't. Luckily, everything there was cheap and we did actually have enough cash.

The coffee at Mel-O-Glaze tasted like someone else's butt, so I'll have to get my coffee at the Nokomis Beach Coffee Shop (1.5 blocks from my house).

It's 6pm, part of me feels like I have a lot to do, part of me feels like it's time to chill.

The dog's chilling, me too.

Pictures very soon. Also, Key West travelogue soon.

Posted by Heather at 10:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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First off, I have a batch of vanilla spice pancake batter resting in the kitchen waiting to be made into pancakes. The recipe is my own concoction, I'll let you know how they turn out.

Also, I'm supposed to make scrambled eggs for breakfast, D went to go get the spinach and tomatoes to go in the eggs. I didn't check before he left, but there are only 2 eggs left. Sigh, I don't really wish he had a cell phone, but now is one of those times.

Anyway, back to Pavlov and my phone...
I'm not answering my phone. Sorry. I've pretty much stopped answering my phone except in a few cases where I think 1) the call is important and 2) the call won't piss me off.

For the last few months a good third of the calls to me have been frustrating, angering, tiring or altogether not what I want to talk about. And while I know the hard part is over with the house sale and all that, my Pavlovian reaction to my phone is set.

When I hear "HELLO MOTO BYOOOOO doot doot doo doo do....", the default ring on my phone (which I changed at one point but it went back) I tense up, my spirit falls, I just KNOW it's going to be one of THOSE calls.

Sadly, when my friends and family call I just cannot bring myself to answer most of the time. I'm sorry, people, but I'm just not answering the bulk of the phone calls that come through. Of course most people would say "if it's important, leave a message, I'll get back t you". Yeah, well I'm not checking my messages, either. If it's important call me twice, then I'll know.

Please don't take it personally, I don't mean it to be, it's just the safety plan in place so that I don't smash my phone to pieces. Oh, and, calling me while I'm at work is probably going to be a bad idea for a while. I've pretty much wasted any 'personal call good will' sitting on the phone with various members of the real estate industry hammering out details and situations that I pretty much lost interest weeks ago.

Okay, enough with the phone. Hate the phone.

Let's talk about why I hate Minnesota...Tomorrow is May, today there was snow falling on me while I was outside with the dog.

My phone just rang. I answered it as it was the number from the Lund's customer courtesy phone. David's at the grocery store and he called and I was able to tell him we needed eggs. Okay, so sometimes I do answer my phone.

Later I'll post something more cheerful.

Posted by Heather at 10:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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I got it! The guy called me today to say he'd very much like me to rent from him. VERY MUCH! YAY! I was worried that my pink hair might be a red flag in his mr businessman world, but I figured I was pretty well spoken and I have a history of not getting kicked out of places and not getting convicted of felonies so that helps a lot.

Something in my office smells like lanolin and i fucking despise the smell of lanolin. It's one of the few smells that just makes me ANGRY. I hate lanolin lotion with a passion.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!

I would threaten kids and small dogs with that thing!

I need a nap, I need to buy some beer, I want it to be warmer so I can sit outside and smoke my cigar and drink a beer.

Maybe I will go take a picture of my new place. It's super cut

Posted by Heather at 10:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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We went to the vet and he's not going to die! He has an uncommon, but very mild form of bordatella that they don't immunize for. He's on antibiotics for 10 days but can go back to the dog park on Saturday.

He also had blood drawn for his heartworm test, hence the flashy and very handsome bandaid. Ghengis has been to the vet 4 or 5 time for shots and check ups and getting neutered. Today was the only time EVER that I had seen him scared. He was terrified, he cowered down and shivered. It was so sad. Near as I can tell, he was too young before to really know what was going on and was just dopey happy like he always was OR the vet was a guy this time and Ghengis is always a bit reserved around men. I don't know.

The funny thing about the vet was that he was putting so much effort into assuring me that my dog was okay. He listened to G's heart and lungs, assured me they were fine then proceeded to tell me how he thought chest x-rays at this point would be a little excessive and just kept telling me he was sure it was minor, and all the symptoms that would mean major that he didn't see. Dude, you're the vet, you know your job. If you tell me my dog has a minor respiratory infection, then I'll believe you. I figure they must see enough hysterical pet owners that they are always on the defensive about their diagnoses or something.

My dog coughs and he has a slightly elevated temp, seems reasonable that it would be something to be dealt with but not something major and life threatening.

David and I are off to dinner. mmm Thai food! (sorry, April, you're not invited).

Posted by Heather at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Speaking of my dog and the dog park and whatever is making him sick...
I'm actually trying to set up a play date between my dog and the dogs owned by Dena (roller derby goddess) and her husband Levi (my coworker).

I love saying �play date for the dogs� because it hearkens to a lifestyle that I�m not even allowed to pretend exists. Unless I can get married, buy a minivan, do up my hair in a sophisticated yet sensible manner and find new, creative uses for Stove Top stuffing, I have to pretend that playdates don�t exist.

But I rebel because I�m like that.

Of course I need to amke sure my dog is healthy before I can let him back out there to play with other dogs.

Posted by Heather at 9:52 PM | Permalink

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Ghengis seems to have picked up a cough, poor little guy. I didd a little research and apparently dogs cough for completely benign reasons (dust allergies) or incredibly awful reasons (heartworm, roundworm, bordatella, distemper). There's no real middle ground with a dog cough, so off to the vet tomorrow evening. It's entirely likely that he picked something up at the dog park. I have him inoculated against everything and he's on heartworm medication, but there are other things you can't immunize them against. The frustrating thing is that a lot of the things passed between dogs could be kept to a minimum if the owners would clean up after their dogs at the dog park.

It's really that simple, if you keep to a minimum the medium of transmission by picking it up and throwing it away, you could help prevent other dogs from getting sick.

Oh well, let's hope it's nothing terribly serious.

In other news...
Nothing really. It's been a slow day. I injested HUGE amounts of caffeine and that helped to alleviate most of the pms/migraine/grogginess. It won't help the insomnia, but then not much eveer does.

Anybody want to help me pack up all my crap? i'll buy you pizza and beer! Actually, I just want pizza and beer.

Posted by Heather at 9:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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I've decided to go ahead and declare myself the greatest girlfriend ever. That's right, against all logic and fact I'm just gonna go ahead and declare that. I know that quite a few people will take issue with this declaration, some people would say that I am a terrible girlfriend and others would say that their girlfriend would top the charts. The thing is, this is my world and I am the best girlfriend ever.

Of course, in my world you only have to color some dinosaurs with crayons, cut them out and paste them on colorful pieces of paper with cute captions to be declared best girlfriend ever.

true.

Also, Key West photos are cropped and photoshopped (I have amazingly blemish free skin thanks to photoshop!), now all I have to do is write pithy copy to go with the pictures and we're good to go. Here's a taste.

Can I get a volunteer to live in a cabinet in my kitchen and make tasty suggestions for dinner based solely on the ingredients I have on hand? I'm hugely uncreative lately. You can rest assured I almost always have chevre on hand, though.

It's 9:30, I'm off to make dinner finally!

A foamy dinner for my peeps. yo.

Update (instead of writing a whole new post)
I have 8 different kinds of rice on my kitchen, most are contained in unmarked Cambros. I can tell them apart either my sight or smell (jasmine rice and white rice are similar). Sadly, I stood there for 10 minutes tonight unable to distinguish my rices. They all looked exactly the same to me (except the brown rice). I almost felt illiterate! Luckily I figured it out (went with basmati).

For dinner I am combining many of the things I have been craving into one perplexing dish. I just made a tomato sauce with diced tomatoes, garlic, oregano, basil, salt, pepper, parsley, a splash of champaign vinegar and brown sugar (too much liquid, but I cooked it down). This will be served on basmati rice with scrambled eggs and chevre. No, I don't know what the hell I'm thinking but I'm just putting together all the things I crave. If I had black beans they'd be in there, too.

Update 2

On the whole, I liked dinner a lot. I liked the tomato sauce, but D thought it was too tangy (probably, but I liked it). The egg was a little weird but on the whole it was a good and comforting meal, just not something I would serve to guests.

okay...now...bed.

Posted by Heather at 9:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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My god, the supreme effort of will to not let pms take over my conversations today deserves an award.

If I believed in heaven I would believe in some sort of reward in the hereafter. Sadly, I know that these things tend to go unrewarded. The flip side is that rarely does the opposite get punished in any real fashion so it's only internal decency that keeps the filterss in place.

pms, insomnia, migraine, cramps
these things do conspire against me.

My mantra is now "don't think about the house situation don't think about the house situation". It's really not my deal anymore, I just flex my signing hand and smile.

Posted by Heather at 9:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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When I'm bored I go to google maps, look up places I've visited and then play with the satellite image feature.

I got to see the Dry Tortugas where I spent a lovely day in the sun in the middle of the ocean. And the place I spent my Christmas vacation(edit:I changed this link to show the actual location on the bayou. I had not been certain before, but D showed me). Zilker Park where I saw the Pixies for the first time as well as Ben Harper, Wilco and many many others all while drinking expensive beer and loving the sun.

Let's not forget the mountains I almost died in while driving too fast last at night.

But here's where the satellit feature came through for me. As I was flying down to Miami 2 weeks ago we crossed over Florida from the gulf side and I saw the weirdest thing from the sky. I didn't know what i was or even where it was in the state. I knew it was big enough to see from the sky and near enough to the ocean that I could find it if I stayed near the ocean on the maps. I scoured the Florida coastline and was disappointed that this had nothing to do with aliens, just golf courses and country clubs.

Ah well, at least I found it.

Posted by Heather at 9:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Apparently there's a bologna black market!!!

Who knew?

Seriously, though, they talk about the health risks of this undocumented boon of tubed meat but I have to say, if you purchase your bologna from a swap meet you pretty much deserve whatever you get. I'm just stunned that this stuff can be produced so cheaply that you can turn a respectable profit selling it at a flea market.

"I cornered the processed meat trade at the swap meet, baby. Wanna go for a ride in my tricked out Subaru Brat?"

Posted by Heather at 9:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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insomnia is a cruel mistress. She slides out from under the bed and slips under the covers with you. Without hesitation she rises up over the bed, plants a stilleto heel into your temple an starts reciting your rental history, the branches of the evolutionary tree that led to dinosaurs, the best risotto recipes, and so on. Insomnia loves a good list and she doesn't mind sharing with you all the lists in her head. Bitch.

I had to take the day off, my sleep patterns have been noticibly fucked since last week and it's easy enough to deal with on the weekend (sit on the couch and knit while reciting along with Star Wars: A New Hope) but weekdays require you to go to work and accomplish things and not make giant mistakes and not fall asleep at your desk.

I doze into dream sleep, have incredibly vivid dreams and then wake up as soon as I slide into deep sleep. Very frustrating, but on the other hand my dreams are more vivid and memorable than usual.

Other than that, not much to report on my end. Went to roller derby last night and finally got to see Dena skating! So much fun. They're making an effort to ham it up more and show more fighting. It's funny because there's one team that's intentionally breaking rules and starting fakey fights in order to rile up the crowd but they get a little whiney at turnabout. Fair play, girlies, fair play.

It's time for Empire Strikes Back and hopefully a nap later.

Posted by Heather at 9:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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My skin has mostly stopped peeling away and mostly I don't look like Reptar, Molting Queen of the Underworld. I do still have a few spots of burn that really and truly look like actual burn, not sunburn but actual hot brand on my flesh burn or something. eeeuw. I'm pretty.

Went and looked at a place to rent on Friday and hope hope hope to get it. Cute duplex, in a cute part of town. Just a few blocks from Lakes Nokomis and Hiawatha and up the street from one of the 2 dog parks that I go to. Also, a couple blocks from the Mel-O Glaze bakery (yum) and closer to United Noodles and Coastal Seafood.

This place is cute with a fab kitchen (the entire rest of the place could be a tiny shithole, I woulsn't care, it's the kitchen that sells me every time. The only real complaint I'd have is the bedroom is rather small with a tiny closet, but there's a giant linen closet right outside the bedroom, next to the bathroom that could be used for clothes.

Separate dining room means I'll probably keep my dining room table instead of downsizing to the little 2 seater table I have.

Also, garage parking! yay!

Anyway.

Friday night D and I went to see a high school production of "A Midsummer's Night Dream". It was surprisingly good for a high school play, but the best part was that because it was high school they tweaked it so much they ended up cutting out huge chunks of show for time's sake. Now purists would argue that huge chunks should not be cut out of anything, but I'm not a purist and I think Shakespeare occasionally forgot to stop writing. Some stuff is just too damned long and pointlessly so. If it were being done professionally, then by all means keep it pure. 15 year olds can cut what they like as long as the gist is there. Also, the kid who played Puck was gonna go somewhere in life. You could tell. It may not be in acting, but it was gonna be somewhere.

And the weekend keeps rolling on...

Saturday morning David ran a 5k. Now, I figured if someone was running a race his or her friends or family would come along to cheer. Granted this was a shorter race and it had a fairly low turn out, but there were only two people there to cheer, me and this other guy. Perhaps it was because it was cold (damned cold) and very early (the ducks at the pond were still asleep) but still! After the race (he did well, but they were a little disorganized so we don't know what place he was in specifically, but he came in pretty shortly after the winners) there was a guy (the winner, actually) with a 10 week old english bulldog puppy!! Her name was Minion and she was a cross between a toad and a pork roast! So cute, so fat, so hoppy hoppy! Every time I played with her, she hopped up and stuffed her head in my purse. Another girl and I told him we were gonna steal his puppy and he said "I will never let that happen" and I let him know I could probably knock him down pretty easily.

After the race was breakfast at the Highland Grill where I had the crab cake benedict. Woo.

The buyer's inspection was that afternoon (and luckily they left their trash on my table, I'm really pleased about that) so I took G to the dog park for a bit (and a lady there tried to get me to adopt a black lab she had at her animal rescue place. As much as I would like another dog, not a lab). then over to D's for a nap.

During my nap I had 2 really disturbing and vivid dreams. Both dreams involved Target, but it wasn't Target that upset me. The first dream had me anti-shopping at Target. I was going down the aisles and putting back all the things I owned that I would not need once I moved into a new place. After I was done there I headed over to the fish market (fish for eating, not displaying) to get dinner. They had all these bins with shellfish and the like and as I went to pick out clams (i'm craving shellfish like mad right now) I noticed that about half the bins on display were full of live bugs for sale, various kinds of centipedes and beetles and crawly things. Also the floor had mice and centipedes running all over the place. I went to the next room only to find more bugs on the walls and floor and a large, flat basin full of oversized (hugely oversized!) bugs and houseflies and the like. aaagh, I ran out of there and called my mom!

I woke up, rolled over and had another dream. In this one David and I went to pick up his friend, Marshall, at the airport and we were driving on the freeway. Look at the map because the freeways in my dream were surprisingly accurate. We left the airport, drove up highway 5 to highway 55. Where 55 and 62 meet there's a tight-ish curve (and this IS how I drive home from the airport). At this tight curve Marshall decides to fix my hair and his hands get in the way and I cannot see. I don't see the curve, we go flying off the road (rather gently, my brain doesn't like crashes so we sort of float down). My car is totalled but no one is hurt and I lay on the ground sobbing for the loss of my car. To make me feel better, D and M take me to a giant candy store next to the brand new Target corporate headquarters (david got cookies for himself, I got chocolates).

I don't know why I told you my dreams, but they were upsetting.

Today was breakfast at OPH with D, Alan, Mary Alice and Matt. Tonight is Roller Derby and this afternoon is chillin like a villain and finishing my book.

One last thing before I go...
Is there anything happier than looking up to see the puppy curled up with the boy as he practices guitar? No, not really.

Posted by Heather at 9:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Yesterday I wrote a very very very long email abou the politics of ice cream. It was silly. Who knew there could be so much to be said about ice cream? Well, no one except me, no one worries about the politics of ice cream as much as I do. I will sign the Ben and Jerry's accord if I have to.

The politics of the dog park are a wholly different thing. I go to 2 different parks here in town (one is more fenced in and has trash cans and water bowls, but the other has nicer grounds and you can watch the planes take off and land). Dogs have their own politics and they're all about establishing their own hierarchy quite often to their owner's chagrin. They prety much spend most of their time together mock-beating each other to figure out who's strongest. We owners should trust that they will be fine, but if your dog is getting beat up (like ghengis and the weimaraners or ghengis and the pit bull or ghengis and that dick poodle mix ass dog) you want to protect your dog. If your dog is doing the beating (ghengis and the corgi, ghengis and the lab/boston terrier mix, ghengis and the overly shy goldenn retriever) you want to grab your dog as fast as possible and apologize and get him to a different group of dogs as fast as possible.

But dogs are fine, they sort of know the rules (mostly) and they figure stuff out pretty quickly.

So, I went to sign the papers for the offer. The initial offer isn't terrible, it's in the acceptable range. Once you factor in the fact that we're to pay for their closing costs you realize the offer is in fact considerably lower. Oh well, I chalk it up to the price you pay to move on.

I also had to spend 8.2 million years in the cable company office trying to straighten out the clusterfuck that is their billing department. From what I can tell, this is what happened...
I went in to change the name and the billing info on the account in my house after jen moved out. It didn't work. I went in again to do it again, change the account to my name, have them stop debiting her account and start sending me the bills. It didn't work. I went in again. I filled out some completely different forms and they assured me that they's run this downstairs and email the guy who made the changes.

Well, I never ever got a bill but every month they called me saying I hadn't paid my bill and I said, "well, here's my debit card number, I'll pay it now. Please start sending my bills."

They called me the other day but I hadn't had a chance to call them back yet and it wasn't critical, they hadn't turned off my internet access. Yet.

But...they did turn off Jen's access! Seems they changed the name on the account. They changed the name on her NEW account, leaving her on the old account. I'd been paying her internet access all along, but my slowness to respond to the call got everything shut down and brought to light.

We're not done yet. Since they obviously fucked up the name change it stands to reason they fucked up the billing as well. Well, yeah. So I'm paying her monthly bill oer the phone every month for the internet access in her new apartment. The billing for the internet access for the house I live in is being charged to Jen's bank account, but the account number got changed because of some security issue unrelated to all this. Every month Time Warner tries to charge my internet access to an account that doesn't exist and every month it gets denied. So the bill for the house is very very high as it's been accumulating for a while, but my internet access has not been turned off.

Also, Jen's been paying for something, we just don't know what. Perhaps her payments are going for internet access for some 3rd party we don't even know about.

I am not looking forward to moving and having to set this all up again. Also I hate Time Warner.

Anyway, back to rambling...
When you get an offer on the house and it's no longer on the market or being shown you can relax a little, which is nice. You don't have to be so vigilant about being clean. You can debate whether or not to pee on the kitchen floor (still 'NO' but worthy of discussion).

Okay, anybody in the twin cities area looking to rent half a duplex to me and my dog and perhaps eventually the boy? need 2 bedrooms, laundry and yard for kind of, but not completely cheapie.

Posted by Heather at 9:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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I know I'm supposed to be excited about the house selling and I am happy that we finally got an offer but everything is overshadowed by the fact that I completely mistrust the other people involved in the process AND I am powerless to do or say anything about it. It's incredibly frustrating to feel like this about something that should bring elation.

God, my future is waiting and this is the last shackle to throw off, I just wish I didn't feel like I had to cut off my foot to get away.

Irrational? Probably. Actually, definitely, but if there's one thing I've learned about myself in the last few years it's to trust my instincts, my guts seem to like me.

Okay details later, i'm out to sign and smile...sign and smile...

I promise more cheer in the next post.

Posted by Heather at 9:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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So, we got an offer on the house (lesson learned, don't get irritated when people want to come see the house, it's how they find out if they want to buy the house), it's a little lower than I would have liked and it sounds like there's probably some other stuff attached to it, but, I'm not allowed to do or say anything but agree with what's offered so that is what I will do.

Besides, I need this to happen. So, I'll go in today and get the specifics, smile, nod, and start making real plans for my future now that it's not on hold anymore!

YAY!

Also, this means I no longer have to be neurotic about keeping everything super clean AND I don't have to go get plants and flowers for the garden AND I can probably get a good last dinner party in without worrying about changing my plans mid-stream.

I was just thinking this morning that when I got an offer on the house I'd sit down and smoke one of the cigars I got in Key West to celebrate. Well, if anyone would like to join me in the smoking of a Cuban leaf Corona, meet me on the front steps at 7pm!

Finally, a big move forward!

Posted by Heather at 9:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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So I go out and take the dog to the dog park and walk the perimeter a couple times (it's a big park, there's a lot of walking to be had), the walk did me some good, less cranky now.

I'm also less cranky because it was reaffirmed for me that no matter how much my life might be bugging me at the moment there will always...ALWAYS...be someone who hates their life more AND their coping skills are so bad that you have no choice but to realize that you've got it pretty good.

Tonight I met a woman I'll call Mary. She hates her job AND she's completely clingy and desperate to share her pain with you. She kept asking me about myself and my job and weaving my short answers into her longer diatribe about how awful things are.

Apparently...

* People will stab you in the back any chance they get.
* The christian funeral care business is rather cut-throat.
* She spent ten years as one of the best sales managers in the district only to be shoved out by people with no ethics or moral compass.
* Her christian co-workers won't train her to do new things at the funeral home.
* Now (NOW) is the BEST time for me to make my funeral arrangements, I can lock in 2005 prices and the longer I live the better a deal it will be. (I couldn't help but wonder what sort of investment scheme paid off at the time of your death).
* The biggest mistake you can make at a job is to train in your coworkers because they will learn and then pass you up, leaving you behind to flounder. I wanted to point out the inherent flaw in this logic, but the dog was tangling with a ridgeback and I thought I should intercede.

As I left she continued to holler at me, "It's so nice to finally meet one human being who is not obsessed with money...you know people only care about money...you're not like that..."

I'm not like that. Good for me.

Everyone needs a daily Mary affirmation, go, now, to your local dog park or crazy house and have Mary show you the way.

Posted by Heather at 9:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Why is it that most home showings must be scheduled at the most inopportune times. Jesus, I know I'm supposed to be glad that people are coming to look at the house and accomodating them would lead to more house sales than telling them to piss off, but I am so tired of having to cancel plans, put them on hold, rearrange them or, even worse, come up with plans because all I really want to do is take one evening where all I do is curl up with the dog, ignore everyone and read my damned book.

Tonight's one of those 'interrupt my one night to chill' versions of the home showing. "Oh, no, 7:30-8:30 pm is a lovely time to show my house. Not so early as to get it out of the way and certainly not late enough for me to justify murdering you in the moonlight."

I know, I know, everyone's working, they can't all come look at houses in the middle of the day when it's convenient for me. Most days I'd just accept this and grab the dog and go to the dog park or something, but I decided not to go to the baseball game, I gave up a fun social activity that I've come to love in the last couple years so that I could have a few hours alone.

Bleh, it's just the frustration of not having any control over this aspect of my life. I want this house to sell, I really do (contrary to what others have said). This is the last hurdle for me and I want to get over it, so I am happy when people come to see the house. It's just really hard to see the big picture when you've spent the last 10 days moving yourself at a furious pace in the company of other people (people who I adore and doing activities that have filled me with such joy, let's be clear here). David's got two classes tonight and I was looking forward to quiet.

Ah well, I made a joke today about pope benedict...eggs benedict...something something...and I'm sure God's having his way with my psyche now as some sort of revenge.

Also, my skin is sluicing off my body at a furious rate, unfortunately not in giant sheets but as some sort of massive body dandruff. It is truly disgusting.

...and...I called my boss before I went in to work today to see if he wanted me to bring doughnuts to the meeting this morning (or more specifically, I wanted a doughnut and figured if I got enough for everyone I could use the corporate card AND jutify buying my morning coffee on the corp card as some sort of travel fee), he agreed that doughnuts were an excellent idea and I was on my way. I found out this afternoon that there's a new policy in accounting that whenever you buy food with your corporate card you have to list all that was purchased, the purpose for the purchase AND everybody present who consumed the food. This is not such a big deal for me as I generally just do the occasional doughnut run or department lunch outing on the card, but one of the other departments regularly buys a smorgasbord of breakfast food and then invites a bunch of people over as an "improving interdepartmental relations" move. They're screwed. I'll be sure to leave a list of all that I consumed at these little events (1/2 bagel, peanut butter, crackers, cheese, fruit, 87 cups of coffee).

Okay all you foamed up peeps in my hump kingdom, I'm off to lay bear traps and scatter plumper porn around the spare rooms.

Posted by Heather at 9:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Yeah, I just called you a 'ho, deal with it.

Dang, yo! So i went away and had this fantastic trip. The absolute epitome of a vacation. I had absolutely no reason to go but to get out of town and relax, no tasks to be delat with while gone, nobody bugging me with their issues (jesus, I could write a book on the number of vacations and trips I've had recently that started with someone's pissed off email or needy text message or SOMETHING that requires that some percentage of my focus on my trip be aimed at them the whole time I'm gone). The people who contacted me while on vacation were well wishers, people happy that I was having a good time and people who missed me while I was gone.

I went on vacation and I saw many things and ran to many places and ate many things AND also relaxed. It was too too perfect and there is no way for me to thank Alex for making all this possible for me. There was nothing on this trip that I wanted to see or do that I missed out on. Alex made sure that my list of Key West hopes and dreams were completely fulfilled.

It is an amazing and beautiful thing to have somebody in your life who is willing and able to put so much effort into making sure you are happy. If you have one of these people, don't forget to appreciate them.

Alex was also incredibly patient listening to me ramble on about my puppy and David, the two topics that sit at the front of my mind almost constantly.

Alex and I are doing a photo exchange soon and then we will get our photos up for you to envy!

Let's see, what else is going on in my life....

Reading Perdido Street Station and it truly is as wonderful as the reviews. The imagery is rich and detailed, the story moves along taking you with it. He does an excellent job of putting you in this distinct and different city without making you feel like the whole story has stopped so that he can tell you what things look like. My only beef with the book (at 1/2 way through) is that there just seem to be too many coincidental involvements. When I describe the book I found myself saying "and that just happens to be the person involved in this" too often. Excellent book and thanks to Mark for recommending it to me.

QOTD
"you got brain issues."
"brain issues?!?"
"yeah, you got brain issues"

My skin has started peeling off. I look like a victim of radiation poisoning, which I guess is accurate. I look terrible. I could scare kids. More than usual, even.

Saw 'Sin City' this weekend. I had mixed feelings about it as I was watching it, but I liked it more and more as I thought about it later. A few of the thing that rubbed me the wrong way (unrealistic dialogue, excessive violence) were intentional and important to the whole movie so I guess it would be like disliking the asthetics of a hot dog bun when it has to be shaped that way to serves its own purpose. Or something.

To the people who assk how I can have feet so small and still stand, the answer is "I can't". As I do often, yesterday I fell down aand twisted my ankle a bit at the dog park. It happens. It's a little tender today but no worse for the wear.

Have I mentioned how much I love taking the dog to the dog park? Because I really really do.

Alright my foamy peeps and peepettes, I'm off to all things fascinatingly mine. Your job is to bug me until I get Key West stuff posted.

Posted by Heather at 9:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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"mostly things just work a lot like science."
David

Posted by Heather at 9:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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I'm back! I had the best time!! Pictures and travelogue soon.

I am sunburnt. I am burned so bad I am showing signs of second degree burns. I want to cry, but I remember the joy of the trip and I am happy!

Posted by Heather at 9:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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This is really more for me to keep track of things before my trip. Sorry.

Bleach and dye hair crayon red
Hair done and one. It's magenta, not red, but that's awesome. I photodocumented the whole process and when I get my bra photoshopped out of the pics I'll post them.

Buy capris and stylized keds
Pants purchased.
As for the shoes...WELL, let me tell you, if you're standing in the store all bummed because the cutest pair of Hello Kitty sneakers only go up to kid's size 2 don't despair, try them on anyway! They looked a tad big so I tried them and they fit my feet (kid's size 3). Thank god or genetics or whatever granted me such freakishly small feet.

Rip cd's and update iPod
Halfway done, should get a good flying playlist together.

Make a list of books to get from the library
books on hold. yay.

Go to the library and get the books
Tonight, after work.

Do laundry
DONE! YAY!

Write up Ghengis instructions for my dad
Yeah, done.

Go to Target to buy dog food (mmm Beneful), laundry soap, dish detergent, dog poop bags, toothbrush.
Holy crap, I was walking through the dog section of Target (Salmon Beneful was on sale, what a lucky dog) and I stumbled upon an end cap with the most concentrated collection of useless crap ever. I love my dog and i buy him lots of things but I WILL draw the line at an Isaac Mizrahi polo shirt. My dog has many things he probably does not need but there are things like cell phones, flow chart software, feed corn or an Isaac Mizrahi polo shirt that really cross the line. Also, there was a highly stylized puppy bed in pink and black that was sort of cute but not $40 cute. Especially when the dog will chew and destroy it in 4.2 minutes.

Buy groceries so that I can make real food for David (I owe him. You'd think I'd cook more for all I love to cook, but I don't. Real food, baby, I promise)
Yeah, so the plan is making him a very nice goodbye dinner tonight. Luckily he has two classes tonight so we eat late and that gives me time. Now I need to think of a menu!

Pack, repack, pack again.
So many outfits to consider!

Pay bills.
WOOOOOO.

Okay, now I have to pick restaurants and sites and all that! YAY. God, I'm so so so excited.

Posted by Heather at 7:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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So...where are we with the list? I went clothes shopping and managed to convince David to go with me. For as much as he dislikes shopping and the mall and Old Navy he was really great about it. In fact, he's really great to go shopping with because he actually gives real feedback. He tells you when he likes something and when he doesn't. He helps make decisions, he has an actual opinion and he's encouraging. I asked him why he was so good at the shopping thing if he didn't like it and he said that it sped up the process. It's true. If you help me then there will be less time spent with me going "blue?...pink?....blue?...pink?...both?...green?...does this make my butt look bigger than usual?...two or three?".

I actually picked things out, made my purchases and was happy (though I might head back and get another pair of capris). After the shopping he took me to the peanut butter place for sammiches. I got the Memphis (too sweet and the bacon bits were weird) and D got the curry spice (excellent, made me regret my choice). The place was kind of cool but the guys behind the counter were dorks.

I had much to do when I got home last night but opted to chill with D. Now I still have lots to do.

Bleach and dye hair crayon red
Must go to the beauty supply store for mixing bowl, application brush and gloves. TONIGHT.

Buy capris and stylized keds
DONE! Well, I bought the capris but not the shoes. I'll get those at Target tonight.

Rip cd's and update iPod
Must do, can do while dying hair.

Make a list of books to get from the library (suggestions??? Please suggest airplane reading and beach/poolside reading. I will need probably 4 books for this trip)
List made, maybe D would like to go to the library for me? Otherwise tomorro night. Special thanks to Mark for his suggestions, even though half the books he suggested I already read AND I purchased once when he was standing next to me suggesting those books!

Go to the library and get the books
Yeah, we'll see.

Do laundry
Tonight, right when I get home so I can pack tonight.

Write up Ghengis instructions for my dad
DONE! made very detailed instructions that included reminders for belly rubs and instructions that Ghengis sleeps on the bed.

Go to Target to buy dog food (mmm Beneful), laundry soap, dish detergent, dog poop bags, toothbrush.
List made, going RIGHT AFTER WORK!!!!

Buy groceries so that I can make real food for David (I owe him. You'd think I'd cook more for all I love to cook, but I don't. Real food, baby, I promise)
ummmm...hmmmm

Pack, repack, pack again.
TOMORROW!

Pay bills.
Halfway done!

Now I just need to finish work things and we will be a-ok.

The problem is that it's so grey and dreary here that all I want to do is pull a Schiavo and lay down forever, drooling on myself.

sorry, bad taste, i know.

Also, I went to the American Airlines website so I could do web check in. Those bastards! You have to be a member blah blah blah to do web check in and you have to have the Advantage Miles number or some dumb shit like that. Most airlines just let you check in on the web since you've already gone so far as to give them copious amounts of money to fly on their plane. I like checking in in advance, it's nice, I get to pick a window seat and not stand in line except to check my luggage.

Must remember to bring food on the plane since they won't actually be feeding me.

Okay, i'm off to photocopy invoices and maybe take off early.

Posted by Heather at 7:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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The problem with being so busy is that you end up with a lot to write about and no time to write it.

So let's see what i can get vomited out here, now.

Friday night I met my old boss for drinks, was a great time to catch up and gossip, "did you know that so-and-so..." and "I can't believe she did THAT!". I had a goodly amount of vodka and tonic and decided I should not go capri shopping. Foolish me, now it's Monday and I still need these demon-pants.

David came home from his camping/kayaking trip. He smelled of campfire and had pictures of a porcupine and some bald eagles (not together, that would be oh too cool for words).

(a man just walked by with a ponytail that went past his ass, wearing all black except for the 1980's style red vest, the kind I owned in high school).

Saturday was laundry and cleaning and trail mix eating and blah blah blah. We went to Battle Creek Regional park for a small walk with the dog. Met a little girl who was terrified of dogs. I felt bad for her because he was just sobbing for being so afraid of Ghengis and G, being so A.D.D. didn't even see her.

Finally saw 'The Grudge' this weekend. It was super creepy in the beginning but I think David was right, they slathered the creepy on so thick that eventually you become inured to it.

Anyway...

Went hiking at a state forest this weekend AND I have pictures for you. We picked the 'moderate' trail and from that I'd hate to see what the difficult trail would have been. This was a toughie. The fun part was getting to make up rules, "walking with determination burns more calories". I love making up rules about stuff like that because then I can reward myself with a cheeseburger! I recognize that eating a cheeseburger sort of negates the healthy aspect of the walk but when it comes down to it I got to go on a very nice, healthy walk AND I got to eat a cheeseburger. I might die early but I'll die knowing I got to eat that cheeseburger.

The dog also got a cheeseburger, I figured he deserved one, also there would be no way to ride in the car and eat my own dinner unless the dog was somehow distracted. When Ghengis is happy, I'm happy.

First, pictures from last week when we went to Frontenac. Very pretty shot of the lake, you can't really get the scale of it on a little picture like this. Suffice to say, it was pretty. So pretty, in fact, that the dog got all drunk on the scenery and David had to deal with my out of shapedness and the dog's drunkeness. Or something.

So that was last weekend.

This weekend...

• Me, as proof that I went.
• Ever nimble and monkey-like, David climbed a tree.
• We were so remote and removed from people that we could keep Ghengis off his leash the whole time allowing him to haul ass along the trail. Ghengis is surprisingly well behaved never running too far ahead or more than a few feet off the path.
• And let's see, here's Ghengis being handsome and Ghengis being nature dog!

• I truly love hick towns. If you can't read the bottom it says "Please put manure in spreader".
  
• This is what a very tired puppy looks like.
  

  
  I still need to go shopping, I'm going to do that tonight. I need to knock some of these things off my list so i can get on that plane on Thursday morning relaxed.
  

  
  Also, making the cutest purse ever. So pleased with it.

  Posted by Heather at 7:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

  « March 2005 | Main | May 2005 »

I need to update, I know. This weekend was busy. I ftp'd all the pics so that I could photoshop them while at work and hopefully get a couple posts up. They'll be long. I was busy.

I have so much to write, my head is full of words and some of them, when strung together, actually represent thoughts!

Instead, I'll follow suit and make a list of the things I need to do before I leave for Florida.

as an aside, I dreamed I was in Alex's apartment (I've been to Florida twice and have not yet seen his place). It was an excessively swanky place, everything done up in white, every amenity provided, even a goofy housekeeper guy who buzzed around dusting the chair before you sat down and wiping up the condensation from your drink every time you picked the glass up. I guess what I'm saying is that I expect Alex to live in some sort of mini-Monaco.

Things that I have to do before I go
an unordered list by Heather

* Bleach and dye hair crayon red
* Buy capris and stylized keds
* Rip cd's and update iPod
* Make a list of books to get from the library (suggestions??? Please suggest airplane reading and beach/poolside reading. I will need probably 4 books for this trip)
* Go to the library and get the books
* Do laundry
* Write up Ghengis instructions for my dad
* Go to Target to buy dog food (mmm Beneful), laundry soap, dish detergent, dog poop bags, toothbrush.
* Buy groceries so that I can make real food for David (I owe him. You'd think I'd cook more for all I love to cook, but I don't. Real food, baby, I promise)
* Pack, repack, pack again.
* Pay bills.

So much to do, so few hours to do it in.

Posted by Heather at 7:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« March 2005 | Main | May 2005 »

Okay, first order of business...
Yesterday one of my coworkers brought me a page from GQ with places you should and should not vacation in when you're alone. Key West got a big write up as a great place to travel alone, she brought it to me because I'm going. In exchange I will eat conch fritters for her. Of the places you should not go alone, Rio de Janeiro was listed for the reason listed in the title of this post. The title of the previous post was the series of events that would happen if you went to Amsterdam alone. Of course when I read that I immediately asked where I could sign up for a trip like that!

The dog's nickname this week is biscuit foot. He has feet like biscuits.

My hair is the shortest it has ever been in my entire life barring the moment of my birth. It's short. SHORT SHORT. It's also almost all my natural color, too, but that won't last. Hair gets dyed on Sunday after the open house. I'm going with red and pink for my trip, hopefully it will turn out.

The cafeteria here at the school makes awful food. Just terrible stuff that they overcharge for. However, they do make excellent banana chocolate chip muffins and it is taking all of my willpower to not eat them.

I did not get terrible greasy takeout food last night. Sigh. I decided to behave myself. I took the dog for a long walk and then ate a frozen turkey dinner and some Sun Chips. If that isn't the most pathetic meal ever, i don't know what it. Actually, I do know what the most pathetic meal ever is. It's pretty sad. You only eat it alone and you have to share with the dog.

Okay, I just got a muffin. I'm eating it. I don't actually want it. I probably won't finish it.

Breakfast is 9am Sunday at Sobas! So far there are 6 of us. Let me know if you can make it!

Alex posed the question "If you were stuck in "Fahrenheit 451" which book would you be? Which book would you choose to memorize so that you might pass it on to future generations. Alex picked the Gulag Archipelago, David said (in so many words) that he would rather create something new. I picked "A Confederacy of Dunces" because the window it provides to our society is so skewed and so amusing. I do so love that book.

So what about you? What book would you read?

my god this is a day I should not be inside for! So beautiful here.

hupo and the bat

Posted by Heather at 7:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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One more week until The Keys. It's a sunny 82 degrees there. I need to maybe get something to wear that's not jeans. I look terrible in shorts, so maybe capris?

Oh dear god I cannot wait to get on that plane and get the hell out of town.

David's camping and kayaking right now. I think he was glad to get out of the house this morning simply because he was tired of the barrage of worrying questions such as "will a bear eat you? will a wolf eat you? will a badger eat you? did you know cotton kills? i learned that once! Are you going to hang your food from a tree? will you freeze to death? do you think the badgers have their own fire brigade? will you fall out of your kayak? will you lose your food? do you have a first aid kit? what if you get lost? what if you stumble into Deliverance?". It wasn't pretty.

When I'm left alone for any extended period of time the first order of business is to get very very unhealthy take out food and pig out. David, being aware of my propensity to abuse my body, left me with a kitchen full of vegetables. Damn.

Breakfast is Sunday at 9am, I'll post the location when I figure out where it is.

I'm going to miss the first $1 hot dog night Twins game. Sigh. Worth it though, I'd rather go to florida.

So, they read the Pope's will today. He didn't leave me anything. Damn. Actually, he didn't leave anything to anybody. He had no earthly possessions. He was the head of one of the largest institutions on the planet and he never bothered to go shopping, no one ever gave him a birthday present or a christmas gift. I mean I guess what do you give the Pope on his birthday? I know I'd be stumped. I bet he would have liked new slippers though, or maybe a home made scarf. He also wanted his personal notes burned which I think is sad, too. Busy, intelligent man, would have been interesting to see his notes. I wonder if he wrote about his moments of doubt or his times of despair? It would seem to me that stuff like that would be helpful for people to hear. If the Pope feels doubt on occasion then maybe it's okay to question your faith, i think that's how you strengthen it.

I was going to leave work early today, but there was a showing at the house. Dammit.

Posted by Heather at 7:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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My coworkers in the office next to mine like to listen to conservative talk radio. They like being conservative and they like repeating those things they've heard on Rush or whatever they listen to. Now, I'm very much a liberal, but I appreciate different views and don't begrudge them their political leanings at all...

except...quite often their facts are wrong and this makes me crazy. They're making arguments based on incorrect information about peoples and places. It makes me insane.

Believe what you want to believe, argue your point, but base your arguments on actual research and facts. Remember that repeating what a politcal pundit spouted off is not research, remember that those who are biased are not going to give you the most accurate information. I mean this for all sides of the political spectrum.

I read Salon every day, the articles are interesting and whatnot. My problem with Salon is that they are so liberally biased that I don't really trust all their political writings. I'm aware of this and take it with a grain of salt and do other research n other places for those issues that take my interest.

Consider your sources people. A biased opinion is not research, and false data and incorrect assumptions will not support your argument.

Posted by Heather at 7:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« March 2005 | Main | May 2005 »

I'm not huge into astrology but I read up on it and sometimes when I read gives me pause and makes me think things through. A friend sent this to me, my comments are in italics.

What happens when Mercury retrogrades? You miss appointments, your computer equipment crashes, checks get lost, you find the car you just purchased during Mercury retrograde is a lemon. (Or, you hate your haircut, the lamp you bought shorts out, your sister hates her birthday gift.) There will be countless delays, cancellations and postponements—but know these will benefit you in the long run. Don't fight them, although your frustration level and feeling of restlessnes will be hard to cope with at times.

Hmm, i'm getting a haircut on Thursday and I'll be bleaching and coloring on my own. Maybe not such a good idea? Luckily I leave for the Keys after this.

All machinery and things with moving parts—such as computers, VCRs, camera equipment, garbage disposals, and so forth, will reveal any weak links now. It is critical that you back up your data system and be more careful and vigilant than ever. Projects will demand more time and money than anticipated this month.

My dvd is on the fritz, but it's been like that for a while. Other than that I have my standard fear that something in my house will break soon, but that's just because I can't afford to have anything fixed right now.

In matters of the heart, if your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you or says something hurtful, take a wait-and-see attitude. Since Mercury rules speech, they may not mean what you think they are saying now. Let them have some space, and wait to see if they mean in October what they said in September.

This is more important to David than me. I've been so cranky lately, all snapping at people and being mean. Hopefully, after my hormones even out again I will be back to being all jovial and fun. I'm still planning on being mean to my coworkers, it's a fine release.

When traveling, leave early and allow for extra travel time. Have all bags double-taped closed, count your belongings, double-check addresses and reconfirm appointments. Things get lost when Mercury messes us up. Take NOTHING for granted. The sector of your chart that Mercury happens to be skating through will be effected most dramatically, so check your forecast!

Again, luckily I'm trveling after this is over or I'd be worried. David's going camping/kayaking for a couple days, I wonder how this will affect him if it does.

Why would the Universe give us Mercury retrograde? Because to move forward it is sometimes necessary to backtrack and reconfigure our paths in life. It is important to reconsider, repair, reflect, and reconnect. Mercury forces us to slow down and fix what's broken, and in so doing, rethink things. It also gives us time to get to projects we have put on the back-burner.

I'm a huge believer in this, i know that sometimes things must be destroyed in order to make room for new creations and I know that sometimes the best way to move forward is to move backwards. Sometimes an inconvenience is a good thing as it forces us to retool our outlook.

Some activities are lucky or actually improve when Mercury retrogrades. You are likely to bump into old friends that you haven't seen in years. Adopted children tend to find their birth parents during Mercury retrograde periods, or people locate their long lost siblings. Prosecutors often find clues to crimes that had previously remained unsolved for years. (Although sometimes the reverse is true—there is a greater danger, or example, that police can bungle evidence during a Mercury retrograde period, for clear thinking doesn't come easy for any of us then.) Mail that went astray weeks or even years ago shows up during Mercury retrograde. Some things that were lost reappear.

Yeah, hopefully the cops will bungle any investigation they might have going on me right now. Hatchets are hard to get clean.

Now is also a good time to dress old wounds, clean up relationships or to simply bury the hatchet. Some people have great breakthroughs in psychotherapy during a Mercury retrograde period. For salesman, it is a positive time to backtrack over previous contacts rather than call on new ones. It is a perfect time to schedule work on projects that you haven't had time to do and you've let pile up. Bring your resume or portfolio up to date, and clean out your closets. Take time to paint the house. Clear your decks.

So it's time to find the map and get on the high road again. yes, mom, i'm on my way.

Just try not to start new things. If you have to start a job during a Mercury retrograde period know that the nature of the job is likely to change dramatically over time. Perhaps the person you report to will leave, or your responsibilities will be very different from what you thought they would be. Or your company won't be ready to take you on, and you won't have much to do until things are reorganized. But remember, if this was a position that you tried for in the past, then you've got the vibes working for you rather than against you.

Okay, so there you have it, things are going to get messed up so take the time to consider whether or not they're working for you in the first place. Forgive miscommunications and be patient.

Posted by Heather at 7:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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This is how the pill works, this is how it keeps you from making a baby in your tummy. The pill goes into your body and it clicks a switch that makes you mean and angry. Then you sit on the couch next to your boyfriend and you are cranky and mean to him. You sulk and fume and pout and get all irrational.

As a result there is not a single person in the world who wants to share your company thus making it impossible to conceive.

Thus the experiment ends and we move forth to find something equally effective but less disconcerting.

I'm also hoping that going back off the pill will make me stop hating my new coworker so very much. I really dislike him. Apparently the phrase 'I do not work for your department' is some hypnotic trigger that makes it so he can't hear me. I recognize that the proximity of my desk to his might confuse him at first, it MIGHT seem like I work for his department, but he is wrong. So very very wrong. The ironic thing is that he is replacing the woman who had the same position as me in that department so the things he's asking me to do are actually in his job description. They are not for me to do, they are in fact, for HIM to do.

Also, he checks his voicemail on speakerphone every hour AND he likes to announce his level of education to us. I bite my tongue and don't point out that I am a female college drop out that makes more money than he does.

Coffee run with the chicas.

Keep humping my foamy peeps. That's right, you just stay foamy, stay humping. Hump and foam and foam and hump.

Posted by Heather at 7:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Recently, John Scalzi's cat, Rex, passed away and just a few weeks ago, my boss' cat, Mickey Man, passed on as well.

I've had innumberable pets over the years, all of which I've loved dearly and every pet's death brought me to heartbroken tears, even the death of the fish when I had the aquarium.

Ghengis is the first pet that was completely and entirely my own. The fish were for the most part, but also fish don't cuddle. When I first brought Ghengis home he was just a little 11 week old puppy, so very small. I'd never had a puppy so young. I'd made up a little bed for him but realized immediately that I could not lock him in another room to sleep alone.

I brought his little puppy bed into the room with me, set it up on my bed next to me and fell asleep with my hand on his back.

This seemed to work well, so the second night I installed his puppy bed again in my bed next to me and drifted off with my hand in his bed. Eventually, he stirred and squirmed and there was a little thump as he rolled himself out of the puppy bed and onto my mattress. He whimpered once and curled up next to me with a sigh and he's been there with me ever since.

The thing about that moment is that I was struck with thoughts of his death. It seems so morbid and wrong, I know, but he was laying there falling asleep next to me and I knew he was going to be my companion, he was going to be my dog-buddy, and I knew that (if things go well) in 12 or 14 years I was going to be standing in a vets office telling him what a good boy he is and thanking him for being the best dog ever. I'd had my dog for less than 48 hours, he wasn't even 3 months old yet and already I was sobbing because SOME DAY he was going to die.

And this, people, is why I don't have children.

So, yeah, I just replaced $684 worth of eyeglasses (but only paid half, thank you gods of the 'buy one get one free' coupon), the interior of my car is completely covered in mud, he's eaten remotes, knitting needles, shoes, shirts, books, my very treasured security blanket and probably a number of things I don't even know about, but...

But, he's a loyal companion, loyal almost to a fault. He's taught me to calm down and be patient (especially when housetraining him), he wants very little more than scritches behind the ears and the occasional snausage but you can see the joy when he gets a new stinky dinosaur or settles in with a giant rawhide (he's not a big dog, but he has the jaw of a big dog so all his chew toys must be very big). He's jealous of David and occasionally acts out and yet he loves D for taking him running around the park when I'm too tired and for feeding him when I've forgotten.

He IS the good and loyal comapanion that I always hoped a dog would be and though he is only a year old, i do definitely know that when it comes time for him to go, a part of me will go with him.

Morbid? Yeah, but also very happy for getting to have this delightful little monster creature with the big eyes and the dopey face.

Posted by Heather at 7:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Sunday I'm standing in the shower trying to wash the lack of sleep off my face and I'm trying to map out the plans for the day. Gotta get everything super clean, gotta go to Lunds to get roadtrip snacks and windex and hey may as well get coffee while I'm there since Caribou is giving away a free extra shot because of daylight savings...daylight savings...

SHIT

I completely forgot to set my clocks, I'm in the shower shouting to David to get up, it's not 8:30am it's 9:30am, I've got an open house at noon, I want to get out by 11am so that the realtor has time to set up and anyway I want to get on the road early.

Blegh, so hardcore, quick running around. My peaceful, long shower that I had intentionally gotten up early for was cut short since I wasn't up early, I was up late. We got dressed, divided tasks, traded tasks, tried so hard to wake up.

I went to the grocery store for road trip snacks and found myself briefly contemplating then shunning the Doritos. WTF? I bought apples, plums and carrots to snack on. Jesus, what's wrong with me? This get's rectified later, also, we already had a bag of chips.

Coffee was purchased, I came back, David was slaving away in the kitchen. We collected things together, I got him in the car and we headed out.

Ghengis is very funny in the car. He loves going for rides because going in the car always means going somewhere fun. Even the vet is fun because he gets good treats and he gets to see other dogs. While we're on the road going fast he settles down and takes in the scenery but the moment I slow down he's shivering with excitement, he literally starts whining anxiously as we MUST be getting close to the fun place. The instant I put the car in park he bolts from the back seat to the front seat, climbs in my lap and waits to be let out. This is a problem when you are stopped for a train and decide to put the car in park as it makes for easier waiting.

This also makes getting gas at the gas station in Red Wing a problem. I have a number of little nervous tics and habits. One of the bigger ones is that I chew my lip. With all that's been going on lately I have been chewing my lip a lot. i've chewed a bit of a hole on the right side, it's swollen, cracked and it looks like someone backhanded me (no one back handed me, no one would survive laying a hand on me for if I didn't finish them off, my dad surely would). The dog, in his excitement, landed on my lap and as I was trying to put his compact 35 pounds of pure muscle and impulse into the back seat he managed to hook his nail right into the chasm in my lip. Like directly into it. Ow.

I got a call from my realtor letting me know she was on her way to my house. I called her back, perplexed as it was already noon. No, it seems the open house was changed to 2-4. Fine fine, easy enough, we're already on the road but it would have been nice to have not been so panicked.

I couldn't remember how to get to Barn Bluff, the big, pretty bluff over Red Wing so we went on as we had another destination in mind for hiking and all that.

We stopped at Frontenac State Park where we did some walking on trails and stood high over the river. I have pictures, they're not very interesting, mostly the dog and David walking in nature. I got to watch a sea plane take off and a giant barge go by. This time I remembered to bring a water dish for Ghengis. We had a snack, played with the dog some more and took off.

We headed south again, with David navigating and me driving. I love love love driving long road trips. if it weren't for the trashy meth habit and the weird bowlegged walk you seem to develop I might have considered a career as a long haul truck driver. Except not.

We meandered our way down and around until we got to Whitewater State Park. Here's where I got all healthy and defied my true fat-girl nature. We hiked up to the top of Chimney Rock Bluff and god dammitall I forgot to bring the camera. That thing is high, way high, not 'oh i'm fat and i had to climb without an escalator' high, but for real high. I couldn't find any good photos showing just how high a climb this was, but these are some good photos taken by someone I don't know who seems to have gone during a very pretty time of year (my photos, had I taken any, would have been more barren and desolate with the lack of foliage and all). None of the photos show just how high I climbed so you'll just have to trust me that I climbed a very very high bluff (one composed mostly of sandstone and quartz with no fossils to be found) and I hiked a goodly long way to get to and from it as we parked in the wrong parking lot.

The dog LOVES hiking through the woods (as does David), he's a muscley strong little trooper who never ever runs out of energy. We met some people at the beginning of the hike and a couple hours later, when we were heading back we saw them again and they noted that Ghengis was not worn out at all. I know, as long as there's some of stimulation that dog will not get tired. Luckily he passes out the minute he gets in the car. In addition to new and exciting things to smell and explore, the woods offers up an exotic buffet of animal turds for Ghengis to sample. He seems fond of deer turds and decidedly uninterested in owl pellets (not technically turds, but I thought he'd be more interested). I can now identify many major turd groups.

David slows me down (driving, not hiking, I slow him down when we hike), he's not nearly as impatient as I am, he doesn't really need me to drive fast. There's soemthing about that lack of impatience that causes me to slow down as well. I don't have to urge to drive as fast as possible, even though I love driving fast. We meandered over to Rochester to get some dinner and I wasn't even worried about getting there quickly.

I'd spent the day doing healthy things and eating healthy snacks and the time had come. We hit the Culvers and I got a double cheeseburger deluxe with everything except onions, fries and an ice cream soda. The universe was demanding balance and who was I to deny this. The dog got about half the meat in the burger and more than half the fries, but still it felt dirty and greasy and decadent.

We ate out dinner in a park as the sun was setting, we watched the kids play and the geese land and we relaxed.

We headed home. The dog was passed out in the back, he barely wanted to lift his head until we got home. Once in, we put things away, settled on the couch and watched 'Clash of the Titans'. What better way to end the evening than with a half naked Harry Hamlin and a claymation medusa battling it out as I dozed.

I got very little rest this weekend. I'm exhausted and I hurt, but this was a good and happy weekend. One of the best I'd had in a long time.

Posted by Heather at 7:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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yeah, so I have this dog and while I do love him dearly he has cost me an incredible amount of money for a thing so small. Obviously, I don't begrudge him the cost of his care and feeding, these are to be expected and I want him to be healthy and happy so he gets pricey food and goodly dog treats and more toys than most kids. Beyond these things my dog has still managed to squeeze from me an amazing amount of cash. He chews, he chews a lot and he has this incredible knack for finding those things which actually cost a lot. He has expensive tastes, what can I tell you. Along with the two remote controls, the pillows, the sheets, the clothes, the shoes and the carpet (all the carpet had to be replaced, but to be fair the carpet was old and stained up, but he was the impetus for the replacement), he also chewed up 2 pairs of prescription glasses. So fiday night I went in and had the glasses and the prescription sunglasses replaced. Luckily, they were having a buy one get one free deal going on, but still, i've spent so much on glasses this past year it's not even funny. No, it's not funny, it's damned expensive.

ah well, I needed new sunglasses for florida and I needed to replace the regular glasses as I've been wearing the 'funky special occasion' glasses almost exclusively.

So that was my friday night, dragging David to Pearle Vision to pick out glasses. Um woo? The only sad thing was that I could not get the same pair of sunglasses that I had before as they were hugely expensive, so I went similar but cheaper. I loved those glasses.

Saturday David, Alan and I went to OPH for massive amounts of pancakes and coffee and all that. After, the plan was to clean the house and get ready for the Sunday open house but luckily fate stepped in and we got a call for a showing. We frantically cleaned and straightened things out and grabbed the dog and headed out to spend the rest of the day in the sunshine. So much better to be outside than inside cleaning. We headed northwest ostensible to find the Anoka cat colony, but we never really found it. Instead we explored and drove and ran around. We stopped at a park to let the dog run wild for a bit and he LOVED that. Dogs like to play games or romp or fetch, but Ghengis will shun all these for a full bore, hardcore run. That's what he loves best, just running like mad.

Then I got the biggest Ghengis scare i've had since I got him. He ran up to the semi-frozen pond and in an instant was on an ice chunk, before I could react and call him back he decided to go to the next ice chunk by way of the thin (THIN) sheet of ice between. A split second later he's under the ice, completely submerged. I thought my heart would stop. With a scream on my lips as I'm running he comes bounding out of the water. He wiped his face all over the grass to get the freezy water off, shook himself off a few times, got a snausage from me and went on his merry way.

Then I cried a little, that quiet relieved cry when the surge of adrenaline seeps out and you're left feeling a little scared and a lot relieved and when you play it all back you realize that the whole thing took less than a minute and yet every detail adds up to almost an hour.

More driving, exploring, chip eating, laughing, and talking. This is really one of my favorite things to do, get in the car and drive all over the place exploring. We took highway 65 back into town, marvelled at all the ethnic diversity in the restaurants and promised to get up there and sample the food. I don't know what it is about Central avenue, north of the city but there's just this huge diveristy, all this stuff going on and you never hear about it. The best part is that things aren't divided in any way. You don't have the 'Indian' block here and then the 'East African' next and the 'Lebanese' all bundled together away from the 'Ukranian' Corner. It's all mixed together, one after the other.

We got home, David napped with the dog for a bit and I finished reading my book. The lesson I learned is that if more than one person, completely unrelated people who don't know each other, tells me that I will not like Robert Heinlein, they are probably right. I read 'Stranger in a Strange Land' and I absolutely hated it. HATED. It was terrible. If I had to read 'Thou art God" one more time I was going to rip the book to shreds. Go take your 'fish out of water' innocence and your superior grokking skills and stuff them up your own butt. I also hated the hippie style religious commune orgy bullshit and the 'we never rush anywhere, we don't hurry'. Hated.

I also learned that if a lot of unrelated peoplee keep telling me that I will like something I should try it out even if it seems like something I wouldn't like. I finally saw Monsters Inc this weekend and loved it. I thought it was terribly cute and a lot of fun. Not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination but so damned cute and fun to watch. Not as good as Lilo and Stitch, but what can you expect?

In my continuing quest to make vegetarian comfort food (mostly I'm just craving comfort food, it's what i want to eat and since I have a vegetarian to feed, I have to make comfort food that he can eat) I made a mexican version of shepherd's pie with tvp. It actually turned out really well, I was happy with it, but I should have added some corn to the base, that would have helped. Yum.

Sunday posted in a bit, I don't want to make the world's largest post here!

Posted by Heather at 7:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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And I got the translation I was looking for...
Tú eres el remate de la broma más triste del mundo
Special thanks to David's roommate, Matt, for the help.

Yeah, so, what's up my fry babies?

I had this weird bit of musical happiness yesterday. See, I have my iPod and I have my fm transmitter, I seriously love this transmitter, it charges my iPod while I use it so as long as the weather is nice I never have to bring my iPod in except to put new music on it (which I desperately need to do)(also, do not leave your iPod outside over night when it is very very cold, it will not like you so much). Anyway, I make these playlists and I always have 3 or 4 playlists that are almost identical. The first one is huge and the subsequent ones get smaller and smaller as I weed out those things I don't really want to listen to. Even then, when I get to my pared down version of the playlist the experience goes like this...

skip...skip....skip....maybe..no skip...skip...um...skip...oooooh!

I can name a tune in like 1/2 note, i'm the queen of skipping.

So what I'm saying it that it's rare for me to actually have two songs in a row that i want to listen to which is damned curious since I made the playlist myself. It also means I need new music.

Yesterday, in an odd turn of events I had 3 (three) (tres) songs in a row that I actually wanted to listed to. 'Black Cadillacs' told me to name my children after towns that i'd never been to and to be proud of my hipster heritage, my verb and noun usage. After that I got to ponder assholes and control freaks with Bukowski. So what's up with the Modest Mouse? I don't know, they grew on me or something. I always liked them but now they're getting heavier airplay than before.

Now, I get ready to skip because god knows the idea of a 3 song magic moment isn't even entering my mind and on comes Staring at the Sun. I'm a HUGE fan of TV on the Radio. The first time I heard them was when I was in DC for New Year's over a year ago and Mark played them for me. There's apparently some ongoing debate about whether this song is about orgasm or death (i vote for death) and my first reaction to any debate like that is "What's the difference?". Then I realize that no one rolls over from death, lights a cigarette and thinks, "yeah, we'll do THAT again!".

Of course all good things must come to an end and I spent the rest of the trip home flipping through songs.

Went to this last night. Mostly we had gone to see Pablo as David knows him, he hadn't been to one of his shows in a while, I like his music AND I had yet to see him perform live. He didn't sing Tina's Song, but he did sing a song about how you are every childhood story come to life and I thought that was sweet (sadly, the lyrics to that song are not online). The book reading was great as well, she's a great writer and I do think I'll be buying the book. The parts she read were visceral and dark and very real.

Then to lighten the mood we headed over to catch "The Life Aquatic" since I am so behind on my movie-seeing. You know, I thought it was okay. Wes Anderson has definitely done better. There were some very beautiful moments, things that visually were very his, but there were also a lot of cheap devices used and obvious tactics employed. The script was not nearly as tight as other movies of his.

I'm looking down the barrel of another very long, not relaxing weekend. I need to get a pair of dog-chewed glasses replaced AND get a new pair of prescription sunglasses to replace the ones that got stolen in chicago. I hate picking thesee out because I can't see my face in the mirror unless there are lenses in my glasses! Also, pancakes Saturday at OPH in Edina at 9am, for all y'all that keep asking when I'll go to breakfast with you, this is it. Be there.

oh and...
Memo To the Staff at Symantec, Dublin...
Dáithí is quite possibly one of the most brilliant and confounding minds I've ever had the pleasure to tangle with. His razor wit is rivalled only by his taste in trousers. You would do well to listen to his teachings and chew on the meaty gristle of his mind. To disparage the good Mr. M. is to disparage me and to to that will get you a loud, brash, uncouth american punch to the skull. Or something like that.

Jesus D, could I mention you more often?

Alan!! update your damned website or i'll farmer's blow into your pancakes.

Stay foamy peeps!

Posted by Heather at 7:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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