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March 31, 2005

dress code

I'm not allowed to wear a shirt that says "I am a corporate whore" so I wear my Old Navy shirt instead. Wearing a shirt that says Old Navy is a lot like wearing a shirt that says "I am a corporate whore" but without getting sent home for the day to think about your clothes. Funny thing is, I own a ton of old navy clothes (they're cheap and they fit me) and I own 3 shirts that actually say Old Navy on the front as advertisement. I never personally purchased the shirts with the Old Navy logo, they were given to me as part of a closet clean out.

Today I'm totally dressed for the part of hipster-kid corporate whore with my chunky black sketcher sneakers, my cuffed, flared jeans, white long sleeve t-shirt with dark colored Old Navy t-shirt over it (I know it's supposed to be a long john type shirt, but that's just too heavy and warm for me), my nerdy girl glasses and my mussed, spikey hair in bleach blond/trailer trash roots.

To turn in 180 degrees...in the news...

Okay, the cops couldn't give her a ride or an escort or any sort of help?? The best they could do is call ahead to the hospital? Jesus, guys, she had 2 little kids in the back AND you pull her over at gun point. You didn't think to help? Granted, what the hell was she doing dealing with all this alone, but still...

And the only reason why this is funny is because the gun didn't go off. If it had, this would have been a much different story.

I despise, absolutely DESPISE the pictures of Terry Schiavo's "supporters" mourning. I just want to scream, "This was none of your business in the first place. You don't deserve to act like you've lost something. You added to a media circus that should have never taken place. Go fight for something that matters like keeping gays out of the boyscouts since it's the gays and not the pedophiles that you need to worry about."

But, hey, it was taco day at work. Yes, the dates on the list are wrong. We have a top notch intranet.

Hey! Can I post more today? We'll see!

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mi boca es su boca

Today is being described as SPLENDID! by me. I want everyone to be as splendidly happy as I am.

The weather is cool and blustery but the sun is shining and the sky is screaming blue. I've got a pile of the happiest emails ever in my inbox. I am someone's bubbo.

I feel a little guilty being so happy right now. I have a friend going through an ordeal in her relationship, I want very much to help her and I don't know how. So I offer her my support and friendship. You will get through this and you will survive and we will be there on the other side.

And, sadly, Terry Schiavo did pass on this morning. I am relieved for her and her family. I am relieved that there will be some closure for them. I'm sad it had to take this course, though.

but, back to the brightness and happiness...I'm going to get a little fish tank in my office and get a fish named Digger. Problem is finding a fish named Digger, but I'm persistent, these thing work themselves out.

I've been posting a lot lately, I vascillate between more, smaller posts or fewer, longer posts. I just don't know.

OH HEY! If anyone would like a postcard from the Keys, email me and let me know the address to send it to.

I will leave you for now with a quote from Dáithí, he always describes me so accurately...

You are sweet and charming and pretty and unspeakably rotten.

So there you have it.

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March 30, 2005

some things don't translate

Who here knows how to say 'punchline' in another language? Systran is totally failing me tonight.

'You are the punchline to the world's saddest joke' just isn't translating. It's the quote of the day and it livened up lunch considerably.

I was playing with my stats tonight. The two things of interest are where I'm linked from and the search terms people used to find me (it's good to know that 'tonsil abscess' and 'analworld' still rank high). Also, a surge of traffic from Denmark, so I guess I give a shout out to my unknown homies over there. Good for you!

I'm still watching 'Family Guy' dvd's. Stewie is still narrating my posts, but oddly, Chris' voice was narrating a couple other places and it was highly amusing and altogether too fitting.

We have an open house this weekend. Sadly, it's still going to be on the coolish side or I'd take the boy and the dog on a picnic. Maybe we'll just go on a hike or something for the day. A hike. Jesus. Who knew I'd ever think of something like that. Granted, my definition of hike is not that same as yours, and probably involves more cookies. Anyway, open house this weekend but only for a couple of hours. The weird thing about having your house on the market is you begin to have this creepy feeling you're in compton or something for all the cars that drive reeeal slow by the house.

The for sale sign in my front yard fell over this week and I had to call and get that taken care of. Why did it fall down? Could it be because it was installed in a garden in soil that is tilled and has no extensive root system to bind it together? Maybe. The sign was reinstalled on the other side of the driveway this morning and I can rest easy in my smugness.

In one month I'll have been at this job for 5 years. I'm trying to get some sort of "thanks for keeping department turnover so low" award from my boss. A watch would be nice, but I'll settle for a beer. Either way my vacation time kicks up to 3 weeks a year and lord knows I deserve all the vacation time I can get; and by 'Deserve' I mean 'Want'.

I write secret messages to people on their bananas!

ps Is it wrong to check cnn.com almost religiously to see if Terry Schiavo died yet? I'm not saying this in a cruel way (which is surprising if you know me), but I'm truly hoping she passes on so that some closure can come to this for her and her family. You know, the funny thing is, as much as I'm an advocate for pulling the plug if I'm ever in that kind of state, I'm actually not keen on the idea of pulling the feeding tube. I can't quite put my finger on why specifically, but there's an excess of cruelty there. So stop the machines but leave the feeding tube in unless there's a follow up plan to morphine me to death or something like that.

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Feliz Cumpleaños!

A great big happy birthday to Alex today!

HOORAY!

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March 29, 2005

Oh! Tet comfort dat wij hebben gedeeld

I'm getting better at converting regular recipes to vegetarian recipes. Obviously, this is not an issue with most things, it's easy enough to take out the meat or use a different protein like tofu or beans or whatever. Tonight, I went crazy and made veggie and dumplings. It's simmering away right now. Smells so good.

I'm getting better at this, problem was retraining myself. I'd been shying away from carbs, eggs and a whole passel of veggies. It was almost pavlovian and I had to retrain myself. The results are happifying!

I need to get back in the habit of having homemade seitan on hand. I use this recipe, but I've modified it quite a bit to suit my uses. It's an excellent recipe.

Okay, I just got my bowl and I'm in heaven! So good. Next time I need to make more stew to go with the amount of dumplings (or halve the dumpling recipe). It's thick and comforting and you don't really miss the chicken at all. I added some tvp I found in the pantry, you can find it but the bits are pretty small and get lost.

For the record, I'm not vegetarian, I just keep dating them.

« February 2005 | Main | April 2005 »

i know...i know

So I've been going on and on about the lime popsicles that I will eat in Key West. In my head I was picturing an almost non-stop supply of cool green treats at my disposal.

Suddenly, I couldn't figure out where I'd gotten this idea from. Did someone tell me about these lime popsicles? did I just assume that the abundance of lime juice and and the heat would drive people to produce lime popsicles? why is there a weird midgety dude walking around outside? Did I dream of lime popsicles and forget they weren't true?

I consulted with Alex and he confirmed that the lime popsicles did exist. Success!

I also just had to explain to him that the Keys were, in my mind

* Lime Popsicles
* Beach
* Seafood at every meal
* A grizzled old man selling giant avocados from a rolling red cart (or so the picture on the tourist website told me)

I imagine the Keys being some cross between Tybee Island and South Beach. We'll see what happens.

The Keys are the new Ghengis. I used to write about Ghengis all the time, now I write about my upcoming trip. When I get back I'll tell you about the trip then get back to Ghengis.

Also, I really am trying to get an episode up before I go. I'm hoping to get the cell phone pictures up before the trip then vacation pictures up after.

« February 2005 | Main | April 2005 »

comimos los pescados sin procesar y rejoiced mientras que durmió el ángel de la muerte imperturbado con todo otra vez

yeah, so OSX's Sherlock comes with Systrans translating software. It's fun. I use it too often. I expect a spanish speaker to tell me what's what with this phrase.

So, as you might have gathered from the title, last night was sushi night over at Keith's. I helped with prepping the fish, getting things cut and mixed and whatnot. I rolled up one veggie roll, went to have a cigarette (i know, I quite, but the beer was flowing freely and you know how that goes) and I didn't have to do anything else. Nice.

The thing is, everyone knows how to make sushi nowadays, it's the thing to do. There were 8 of us and I think 6 knew how to and wanted to roll and I was happy to finally step out of the kitchen and let people go for it. Of course this would never happen in my own kitchen, I'm too much of a kitchen control freak for that, but in someone else's house I'm cool.

As per usual, there was more fish and therefore more sushi than is healthy for people to eat. I'm pretty sure that David almost got rice poisoning or something from all the sushi he ate. At one point we did try to convince keith to overdose on wasabi so we could take him to the hospital.

I brought my wasabi to this shindig. I use Penzey's wasabi, not the pure stuff, just the natural stuff. It's what we all know and love and why change. Thing is, Penzeys makes one hell of a strong wasabi and when people are used to the wiener wasabi that comes with the pre-packaged sushi at the grocery store, this stuff can be downright painful. Doesn't matter how many times you warn people, though, they don't listen. Love that eye-popping buzz from across the table. I love wasabi. Love it. Love it but don't want to be in huge pain so i am all about moderation with the crazy Penzey's wasabi.

After dinner we had green tea (or mango for the boring folks) mochi, ice cream balls wrapped in a sheet of glutinous rice. yum. also yum.

We watched 30 second movie re-enactments and then tried to introduce them to Happy Tree Friends, but I think that didn't go over so well. I don't know, I was highly amused.

Late night, fun times, I need a nap.

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March 28, 2005

A Jar Of Pickles

My boss' baby was finally born. Beautiful little boy, Rhett William. So very cute. With him on paternity leave I am left in charge, this allows me to sit in his chair, spin wildly and chant "i'm in charge...i'm in charge..." or so he told me in an email.

I'm apparently the go-to girl for travel dining. People are always saying "i'm going to this place...where should I eat". That's me, I have the answer (as long as i've been there). I do, however, avoid recommending the rat infested restaurant that Mark took me to (grumble grumble grumble...I don't care how good the food was!). I wish I could remember name of the place on Lincoln in Miami Beach that I had lunch at when I was there. The BEST miso glazed salmon i have ever has. I've been trying to emulate the recipe ever since then. My trip to the Keys (oh, did I mention the Keys again...I DID) will also be a culinary tour. A culinary tour taken on scooters!

I've been messing up 'you're' and 'your' again. It's not that I don't know the difference, i'm just typing it wrong.

last Friday I upgraded firefox on my computer at work. It upgraded nicely, pulled all my bookmarks and cookies over. I was happy. This morning i get to work, all of my bookmarks and cookies are gone and it won't import my bookmarks from the previous version. Weird.

My t-rex tattoo is finally being designed. Hooray! I can't wait to see the final result. My coworkers rule...

sometimes...they do not rule when they have this long drawn out pissing contest about how to properly install a toilet. I'm so fucking sick of this argument, i'm so fucking sick of telling them to shut the fuck up and go away. I don't want to hear about it.

damn, I wish I had time to take the dog to the park, it's such a beautiful day, I'm sure he'd have a great time, but alas, I've got dinner with the sister and the semisonic boy. I need to bring a bunch of stuff to dinner (wasabi...rolling mat...dvds...david...) I'm sure I will forget something.

blah blah blah nothing more interesting today.

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March 27, 2005

proximity

1) If you want to win at a card game you haven't played before, your best bet is to NOT figure out everyone's strategy and in fact make an effort to not know what they are doing. Those three were so used to each other and their playing style it was too easy to predict. I come in, I'd only played one other time and I did fairly well because they couldn't figure out my damned strategy. I had no strategy.

2) Let's welcome Alan back into the game. I'm still not sure what my "somewhat hands-off way" of encouragement is, but I'll take it as a compliment. I will keep on him to update his website as often as I can.

3) Easter dinner at my dad's place. We went for a walk around the lake after and I was not wearing walking shoes. I'm paying the price.

4) Sushi with my sister and her boyfriend and the couple that introduced them to each other. April's boyfriend reminds me of a Semisonic song. Not a specific one, just maybe Keith is the guy in a Semisonic song, except with a better apartment.

5) I made a quiche to bring to easter dinner and could not eat it. I love eggs, i generally like quiche, but every once in a while I look at eggs and my stomach turns. I don't know why, by all accounts the quiche should have been tasty, but the texture of everything put together seemed wrong all of a sudden. Good thing there was so much ham.

6) the good and bad thing about dating vegetarians is that I don't eat nearly as much meat as I would like.

7) the countdown to the Keys has made me intolerable. I spent 15 minutes discussing my excitement regarding riding scooters around town. Also, the highest point in the Keys is 18 feet above sea level. I will conquer this.

8) bedtime, I'm exhausted. I promise to catch up on phone calls and emails this week. Peas Out.

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March 26, 2005

Christ is risen

I'm saddened that www.UnholyAlliance.com (as is .net and .org) is taken, that would have rocked.

I'm not doing easter for people this year (please stop asking). Going to my dad's tomorrow. My contribution is potato gratin (no mushrooms) and a quiche with spinach, artichoke hearts and goat cheese.

Beautiful day today, good day for chillin. Wish it wasn't so windy, though. Dog got to get all up in the faces of other dogs, good for him. Speaking of the dog, 1) he has learned the secrets of tubalcain and 2) he does not like it when you act like you have a mouth full of rotten milk that you can't spit out (this really upsets him).

ummm....in other not-so-intersting news....

I knitted a purse, didn't like the outcome, took it apart, started it again but with a ribbed pattern, don't like that either. I think it might actually be the yarn. I'm going to give this another inch or so and see how I feel.

I need to stop watching animated series dvd's. Between Family Guy and The Simpsons my dream world has become rather unsettling. Worse yet, everything I write is recited by Stewie. dang.

I'm off to game night!

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March 25, 2005

Shout out

This past week or so has been one with much anger and enmity. I've written much and deleted it on the advice of my friends. So, let's not talk about what's pissing me off, I have another place for that where i can say all that needs to be said and I'm the only one who can see it. Let's talk about my friends who do what they can to keep me out of trouble, keep me amused and entertained and most importantly, listen to me when i need it.


Let's me clear here...there is no order to this after Ethan, I want no calls and emails saying "but...but...but..."


Ethan gets to go first because while generally I am opposed to playing favorites, Ethan is my dearest and closest friend. We met quite by accident back in 2001 while using Email Roulette. After an entirely too fun, made up on the spot pseudo-sparring match we discovered much in common, we discovered many differences and we became instant friends. Over the years we've worked on projects together, we've confessed our sins and we've playing any number of word games for our own amusement. Ethan knows me better than almost anyone and he's my go-to man for solid advice. He has no problem telling me to 'get over' something, or to tell me that it is in fact okay to be hurt and offended. he, like many of my friends, worries about my health and wants me to quit smoking (I have). He also comes to me for advice and most importantly, listens and follows my advice. He has the loveliest girlfriend, just a real sweetheart that I'm looking forward to seeing again in September, as well as two of the coolest cats and the best dog second only to mine.

When I need someone to hate my enemies for me, give me make up advice or be unfailingly loyal even if I am being unconscionably irrational I go talk to Alex. I met him sometime in 2001 or early 2002 as well. A dear friend as different from Ethan as night and day. Quite possibly one of the smartest people I know. Not just incredibly smart but incredibly well versed on current events, history, science and politics. I'm going to see him in 3 weeks, we're going to take the trip to the Keys that we've been planning forever and ever, I can't wait. I've had the joy of sharing my kitchen with him more than once and it was entirely rewarding. He loves to cook and we have a great time doing it. He will truly hate my enemies for me, even the slightest insults will raise his ire. he's one of many who have listened to me whine and comforted me in the dark times. he is the one I go to when for a moment I need to hear "you are totally right" even if I secretly know i am not. I believe I met Alex when he responded to this. I know he had been talking to the other plinko girls at the time, but he and I had not started talking until he read that. I could be wrong. I usually am.

Mark smells of pea soup, is the master of the new music scene, and a total goof. I've only known mark a short time, a year and a half maybe, but we hit it off instantly. Another friend who listens to me and gives advice and comfort when I need them. he goes out of this way to make me feel welcomed and entertained when I go visit him, tolerating my obsession with hippos and sushi and ice cream. I talk to Mark everyday, sometimes twice a day and we jabber on about everything and nothing. The keen "Eff for Rent" picture on his site was taken by me!

Jason also answered the final exam when it came out and that's how I met him. We goof, we talk, we write and we go long periods with no contact at all, but every time I've been out to DC we've fallen into conversation so easily and so comfortably that I never question that he's my friend. He introduced me to dim sum and loves moon-bounce parties with russian models (or something like that). We keep talking about doing a project together but we've not had the time to get it together. Jason, let's get it together and get a project started. Also, were you serious about NYC? let me know.

I do also have female friends! Michelle and her outspoken cousin Elena are the poster children for strong women. I love having them around, being able to talk to them, get advice, hash things out and just do the whole girl thing. They got my back when I need it and aren't afraid of anything. At least I don't think they are. Truly good and kind. I wish they could join us in the keys. I really really do!

Owen cuts my hair, goes to brunch, gossips, gets me inebriated, laughs, makes me feel strong and beautiful on those days that I am neither. he likes my cooking, but we still need to make the veal piccata dinner together (was it veal, baby?). He used to just be the guy in the salon that transformed my hair, now he's so much more to me.

My sister might not TECHNICALLY fall under the friend category but there she is. After years of not talking to each other we found ourselves more grown up, more mature and more ready to be sisters rather than siblings. I was adopted as a teenager, she was only 3 months younger than I was, all the attention, the allowance, the time her parents spent was suddenly divided with another, but she was always gracious about it. She was generous and kind and now that we're more grown up we can see each other as friends. We've had our differences, but the luck of the family forced us to remain close even when we probably would have drifted apart. I'm very veyr lucky to have her.

I would link to Alan's site but he hasn't updated in forever and when he did last update he was all cranky and shit. Alan, update your website and tell them all about how you taught me about baseball and how I helped you pick out fish and how you owe me pancakes and all that. Do it Alan.

Dáithí doesn't have a website, so i can't link to him. I can't even properly describe him. We spent a week in Oregon a little over a year ago and I can tell you i have never laughed so hard for so long in my life. One of the most talented wordsmiths I know, it is always a joy to talk kto him. He's one of the few people who gets me flustered to the point of being unable to speak. He also introduced me to Geoff with whom I have also spent hours talking, but, sigh, I never hear from Geoff anymore.

Oooh and one more female friend! Julie and I have known each other for a little while now but in the last couple of weeks have really gotten to know each other. We share a mutual discomfort and have spent a lot of time comparing notes and learning a lot and clearing a lot of things up. We've also just taken the time to get to know each other. She might be the girliest girl I know, sso it'll be interesting to get that perspective on things. In her friendship, I have learned to not second guess myself so much, to trust my instincts to be correct and to be strong. These are good lessons to learn.

We can't forget David, but I will keep what I say on him brief because I like keeping him to myself. We met at the end of October, i wasn't looking for anything serious, just something fun. 10 days into it we had our first serious talk and we were off. He gives me perspective, he reminds me to stay grounded, he tolerates my crankiness but pulls me back in when I go too far. He's generous and kind, goofy, smart and fun. He likes my dog and you gotta appreciate a guy who likes your dog.

Now I just KNOW that I have gone and forgotten you and I KNOW I will get another call saying, "what about me!". If I missed you, call me. Or something.

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March 24, 2005

Happy 500th

Here we are at the 500th post*

HUZZAH

Or something.

On Feb 19, 2001 just before 2pm I made my first and second completely pointless posts. Four years, 500 posts, an average of 125 posts a year. It doesn't work out exactly as there was a lull in there where I barely posted for months at a time.

Let's take a little trip down memory lane, shall we?

The infamous Toblerone post, the one that got me my first batch of fan mail from people I did not know. People enjoy Toblerone and they like to read about it too!

I used to write haiku all the time. I don't so much anymore, I think everyone is okay with that.

Of course, anyone who's been around since the beginning will remember the ant farm and all of it's glory! Let's relive the joy of the ants one more time...

aaaaw yeah

I was always this cranky

I wrote smaller posts more frequently. It was probably healthier that way instead of the less frequent big pushes of today. There were not, however, any more coherent (no...really).

Lengthier posts found me examining the mysteries of the world around me

Surprisingly, there have only ever been 2 "Very Special" Episodes

Episode 1(to be fixed)
Episode 2(also to be fixed)
There are plans for a 3rd episode, I just havent gotten around to it. It will most likely feature pictures from my phone or something equally fascinating.

Too many trips have been documented on here for me to list them all. Suffice to say, I wish I was better at travel blogging since I do travel a lot, but I do document as much as I can.

Oh, um...centipedes.

I think about the things you're too sober to think about.

I posted a picture of a potato with an odd shape once. It felt like the visual highlight of my year! Until I posted this, or any of the various holiday pictures, dog pictures or upskirts.

In mid 2002 you start to really see a decline in my general happiness and in the number of posts. Nothing specific to link to, really, just more evidence in the "Hindsight is 20/20"game. I was not happy and it shows in little ways that I hadn't noticed until Ethan pointed it out to me a few months ago.

I have loved and I have lost and I recovered.

After this point there is a definite upswing in the frequency of posting. The halfway point happened less than 1 1/2 years ago. The last year has been dense!

My posts about David were sparse in the beginning, partially because I didn't want to jinx anything, partially because I like to hold things like this close and quiet to me in the beginning and partially because it wasn't any of your damned business, anyway! Sometimes, though, I couldn't resist.

And everything since has been so recent you can see it easily. It's not exciting, but it's mine. It's not me, just one angle of me, for as much as I say, there's much that I keep to myself.

Happy 500th post to me!

*The post count is off, with the shift from the old to the new a (very) few posts got deleted or combined and also I found a curious few post numbers with no posts, something odd in the db. We'll keep this at 500.

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March 23, 2005

I am never bored anywhere: being bored is an insult to oneself. ~Jules Renard

Holy crap I've been bored at work lately! My boss is about 32 seconds away from having his second baby being born and after the initial crush to get all the projects finished so there were no loose ends while he was gone I'm left with not much to do beyond my regular stuff.

So I email and read people's websites over and over (keep updating, i need new things to amuse me) and I'm researching all kinds of things.

I know about as much as I can about setting up aquariums, I relearned everything I learned before and learned a few new things. I know the ammonia ~ nitrite ~ nitrate cycle like the back of my hand.

The skin on the back of my hand is weird and dry because I am hugely dehydrated. I'm dehydrated to the point where my skin is rash-y. Too much coffee, too many cold pills, not enough water and the BC pill are conspiring against me...and by 'conspiring against me' i mean 'being ingested by me with no regard to the consequences'.

The pill's still maaking me overly cranky. Few more weeks of this with no consistent relief and I talk to the doctor about other methods. The coolest thing about the IUD is that they don't know why it works! It just does! I think this might be a great, non-hormonal option for me. No, I'm not worried about long-term effects, it was just 1 IUD that was problematic and the stats were minimal. The other's are just fine.

When I take my dog to the pet store he gets to the end of his leash and scrabbles about wanting very much to get somewhere but the leash and the polished floors prevent him from making any progress. He never stops trying, though, he just keeps excitedly running in place. There's a metaphore here, i need to flesh it out a bit. I look at my dog and I know what it's like to be...SOMETHING!

I've also been investigating and researching sociopathic behaviors and disorders. Fascinating stuff to read, but also disconcerting when you start to think about the people you know.

And then there's Key West! I learned that it is illegal to honk the horn on your scooter in key west for your own amusement! You could get ticketed for it. It's also illegal to stuff manatees in your pants, even if you are wearing giant clown pants. My plans for this vacation include: eating seafood at every meal, eating lime popsicles, sending coconut postcards, snorkeling and catching sea turtles and putting them in my pants (also illegal but smaller than manatees and possibly easier to hide), relaxing, taking 1.3 billion pictures, calling David regularly and being sad for missing him, having a panic attack on the 7 mile bridge, having an ice cream at sunset, and catching up with Alex.

Also, let's all welcome Baby Gabby!! Alex is a proud new uncle and I can't think of a luckier niece!

Completely unrelatedly (just so there's no confusion), I once saw a manatee fart. It was in a tank at 'The Living Seas' at EPCOT. He was just happily rolling around in the water and he let one rip. I was proud to be part of that moment.

I just went to look at the EPCOT center website to make sure it was called "The Living Seas" (it is) and I was totally reminded of how much i love Disney World. i don't care for Disney so much as a whole, don't really like their movies (except Lilo and Stitch) or anything, but I totally dig the whole Disney World thang.

I'm so bored that I'm making SpongeBob hump the giant orange on my desk. How gay is that?

Also...I just read the term 'mall-punk' and i thought it was a strangely apt description for those trite, polished, calculatedly smooth punk types. You almost feel like there's some mathematic equation to their tattoos or something with points for edginess, size and placement. To be clear, i'm not opposed to tattoos as such, tattoos are fun and someone is finally designing the t-rex tattoo of my dreams, it's just some tattoos are more calculatedly hipster than others. Spend some time at a music festival sometime and count how many of the exact same shape you see. It's mathematics I'm telling you.

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March 22, 2005

A fish is a thing of honesty

Going to the fish store (aquarium style, not brown butter and dill) is a little like fish porn for me. Alan's setting up a new aquarium (i'd do the obligatory link to Alan's site but since he never updates it anymore i don't see the point. Hint hint hint.) so I got to crack out all my latent aquarium knowledge this weekend. I filled his head with boring information about compatability and ease of care. He didn't listen to me when I told him about chloramine, but luckily the guy at the store told him too.

I also completely spaced about cycling the tank, but the fish store guy was up on that too.

Thing is, it got me totally excited about my aquarium and once I move I'm gonna set that damned monstosity up again. 55 gallon freshwater tank! Alan also mentioned that his brother might have other tanks so I might go look at those too.

I saw some new fish at the store and did some research. I fell in love with botia modesta, the orange fin loach. Very nice, very pretty, very active. Sadly, it does not get along well with other bottom dwellers and has been known to hunt smaller fish. I think I will stick to yo-yo's and clowns which are both peaceful and they get along well together.

I'm definitely getting a pleco. I'm just trying to decide between the common pleco like i had before or one of the fancier varieties like zebras or sailfins. I seem to find myself more interested in the bottom dwelling fish more and more lately, they just have so much personality.

As for the upper strata there are zebra danios, raspboras and barbs to do the schooling and gouramis to showcase.

I'm also thinking about rainbows but they take a lot of work.

Once I get moved and resettled I'll have a better idea if I have the time and energy for another aquarium set up. I'm trying to convince my boss to let me have a little fish tank in my office. I wonder if Ghengis would like the fish? I want everyone to appreciate that I have so far held myself in check, I've not posted the 1800 fabulous new photos of the handsome little guy.

In other news, the vigil is being held for the birth of my boss' baby and for Alex's niece to be born. So many babies being born all at once, how exciting.

Started planning the trip to the Keys, and by planning mostly I mean I am inundating Alex with "can we do this and this and this and this and can I have an ice cream and can I eat seafood at every meal and can i do this and this and this?". Also, I promised not to honk the horn on my rented scooter for my own amusement as that will get me a ticket and a fine! I also am hoping to climb to the highest point in the keys, 18 feet above sea level at Windley Key. 18 FEET people, can you believe it? Also, lime popsicles and coconut postcards and snorkeling!

and...sigh...

Yesterday there was a school shooting at a Minnesota high school. Looks like 10 were killed and 15 or more were wounded. My mom is a high school teacher and most days I don't think about this kind of thing, but when I read about it I get worried. My mom's a good person who works hard for these kids and has really put herself out there. I hope that the repayment for her hard work is a nice retirement check and not some senseless tragedy.

and and and...i still have the flu, i don't really care for Robert Heinleins writing (but people warned me I wouldn't), my dvd player died and my puppy and my boyfriend kick ass.

ramble ramble ramble
LA Chica Grande!

ps...ROLLER DERBY PICS!

Skatin'
Fightin'
Skatin'
More Skatin'
Ummm....

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March 21, 2005

To my coworkers

Various things that need to be said to my coworkers based on conversations I've had today.

1) I do not ask my boyfriend permission to see my friends. My boyfriend does not dictate who can or cannot be my friend. If I ever get to the point where my S/O starts dictating such things in my life I want to be shot in the head as there can be nowhere good to go from there. Also, I think you are a prick and a dumbass to suggest that I might need permission to visit my friends (or what to write on my website, how to dress, who to be friends with or what to name my pets).

2) Do not write in the fucking catalog. Are you retarded? I don't need a catalog that the entire department uses marked up because you are too lazy to write down a 6 character alphanumeric string. When I ask "Are you retarded?" it's not a rhetorical question.

3) Stop telling me about the underage girls you find hot. It's creepy that some of them are younger than your own daughter. You are a creepy son of a bitch and if you never come to my desk to talk to me again it would be too soon.

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uw inactiviteit zegt meer dan uw lege verontschuldigingen.

er..something...

Friday was all snow and being flu ridden and tired and whatnot.

Saturday was more of the same but with massive amounts of crankiness besides. No one wanted to be around me and I don't blame them.

Sunday was pancakes with Owen and David (Alan was SUPPOSED to join us but it seems he was too tired after a long night of fun-having). Why do I always get the lingonberry pancakes? WHY?

Later I brought the dog to the clean version of the dog park, PetsMart! I wanted to take him to the dog park but he would definitely have needed a bath after and I didn't have time to do both so I took him to the pet store where he could romp with other dogs and not get dirty. Much buttsniffing happened, he enjoyed himself.

Why didn't I have time to give the dog a bath???

ROLLER DERBY! Dang, that kicked ass! Girls in short skirts fighting it out...sigh...pictures posted soon! I know a Dagger Doll, but sadly she was unable to skate last night because she'd been sick. Either way, a good time was had by all, I've got something like 80 shots up the skirts of the roller girls and an invitation to join (no thank you, as much as I like the idea of free reign to punch people in the head, I'd like to keep the list of victims pared down to the people who deserve it).

I drank too much coffee before the derby and ended up awake all night. Sucks.

Today's big news...
THE FLORIDA KEYS!!!

Alex called me this morning, asked me if i could get the weekend of the 15th off work. I said I could and told me that was great as he just booked a hotel for us. Well, okay then! We booked the flight and I emailed my boss and that's that. I'm headed to the Keys to drink vodka and eat lime popsicles and see the chicken lady and try conch fritters and swim in the ocean. Guess I'm breaking out the swimming suit. Blick.

Bahleeted on advice.

Why is it legal to take out someone's feeding tube but it's not legal to morphine them to death?? I'm not going to argue the right to life morals on the Schiavo case, but I am going to wwonder why it's okay to have a law saying "starve the body to death" but it's not okay to have a law that says "turn off life support and expedite the process from weeks to minutes". I will admit I don't know enough about the Schiavo case to say whether or not it is the right thing to turn off life support (in my own, uninformed opinion, I say turn off life support), but I will say that there is an unnatural cruelty to starving a body to death even if the mind is unaware. Fine, end it, pull the plug, but bring it to an end quickly and humanely. Sick animals are given more consideration.

But...can't be too upset by this! I'm off to the Keys in a month!

HOORAY!

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March 18, 2005

Saftig

A little bit of this...a little bit of that

I'm tired. I'm hovering on the edge of illness with a gland in my neck swollen to the size of a beach ball. I'm chugging vitamin c and eating cheetoh (which are orange and orange is healthy. Guacamole doritos are green and green is healthier, I'm gonna pick some of those up as well!). I'm hoping to rest a lot this weekend. As much as I want the house to be shown and to sell, I'm hoping the showings get grouped together so I am not running out into the cold every couple hours.

House...market...blah blah blah...vacuum doesn't work well...blah blah blah...speaking of which...

Dear Guy Who Installs 'For Sale' Signs,

My driveway divides my front yard into two neat sections. One section is very very small, the garden in that section is a clearly defined raised bed with decorative bricks edging it. There is only grass in front of it, no flowers or other plants. This is very obvious to the naked eye, even with the snowfall.

The other side of my driveway is a very large section of my front yard. The front 1/3 of my yard is flower garden. This is very easy to discern by the trellis, the decorative bricks, the wood chips, the cut back shrubs. Did you honestly have to drill RIGHT INTO A SHRUB??? Did you have to do it right into a shrub in the most bulb intensive section of the garden?

Is that blank look of utter confusion something you practice at night so you are ready when pissed off homeowners come flying out of their houses? Is "well, you're selling it anyway" a valid excuse in your world? Is it really so hard to knock on the door and ask? I mean a car running in the driveway is a pretty good indicator that the person who lives in the house is in the house and probably awake and coherent.

One day you will lose a leg in a bizarre chipper/shredder accident. When you ask the doctor what he can do to help you walk again, the doctor will reply, "meh, you're gonna die someday anyway, you won't need to walk then. Will you?"

With much enmity
h

I was doing a little research today and found this. It's some scary stuff, that sociopathic tendency, because it blends so well into daily life.

Further proof that I have the coolest friends on the planet...
One of my friends spent the day moving 18th century and older corpses from a deconcecrated church graveyard to a new cemetary. He also met Kevin Spacey for the second time while in London for his birthday.

This weekend is relaxing, recuperating, IHOP, fish shopping (aquarium not dinner), maybe roller-derby depending on how sick I am.

Last night I finally saw 'Say Anything'. I love John Cusack, but I can not for the life of me figure out what he sees in the girl. Seriously, she's about as interesting as a bottle of lotion. Sure she's 'brainy', but not brainy in a goofy fun-facts, kick your ass at trivial pursuit kind of way. Just brainy in a 'they said she was brainy during the exposition so she must be' sort of way.

As much as I want to believe everyone is responsible for the consequences of their bad choices, it doesn't make it any easier to watch.

It's snowing like stupid mad outside. Shovelling and pasta and cocoa are on the menu for tonight.

I'm becoming too homebody-ish again. I need tobe going out more and seeing my friends more. I need my friends to come to minneapolis and see me!

I've only scratched the surface here. This has actually been an emotionally tough week, I've spent too much time whining on the phone to my mother.

Good luck and remember, the best way to keep yourself safe from demons is to not let them in the house in the first place.

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March 16, 2005

Quote of the Day

"the higher you climb a ladder the harder it hurts your ass if you fall off it. I'm just trying to convince myself to get over my fear of heights so I can get that peach up there."

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March 13, 2005

patron gratuit

Saturday was David's birthday, all grown up and 31 (this means that for the next couple months we're the same age and I don't have to feel like Mrs. Robinson or something...but then I kinda like that). I put together a little party for him, a few friends and his sisters over at his friend, John's house. John's an EXCELLENT Chinese cook and we sometimes join forces in the kitchen. This time he made this truly excellent lamb curry, just phenomenally good. I only helped prep stuff, I didn't even do any real work for dinner.

I did, however, work on making the dessert. I mentioned earlier that I was making the Black Pearl Cake. HOORAY! I was really happy with the results. Instead of one large cake I made the batter up in a jelly roll pan and then cut out circles and constructed individual mini cakes. That was huge amounts of work, but definitely worth it. Sadly, I forgot to take a picture until the end of the evening when the remaining cakes were starting to look a little sad. I read all the reviews of the cake and it was pretty consistently mentioned that you could not taste the wasabi. I tripled the wasabi and occasionally you could catch a hint of it, but it was not a featured flavor at all. I own some killer strong, bring tears to your eyes wasabi and I was surprised that it was not tasted.

The rest of the weekend was a chillin' like a villain style blur. We didn't get home from the birthday fun until after 4am and then had to roust ourselves out of bed early to deal with realtor stuff.

I've gotten all yarny again! I finished crocheting a baby blanket and knitting a purse this weekend and I started knitting a new purse. I found an ultra simple new purse pattern to knit and I think it just might be my new "easy way to get rid of extra yarn AND have presents for people" project.

The dog's making chicken butt and the boy's playing Bach on his guitar. Nice. Almost overly domestic.

On Friday I got the rare opportunity to talk to someone and say "I KNOW! That happened to me too!" and, more importantly, to hear "This is what happened same as you!". It's hard to find someone who's been through something similar and compare notes. Oh...and what notes we compared, amazing how similar our accounts were. In the end we were able to laugh and give support.

Time to get my new purse out of the wash machine!

Later, peepshow!

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March 11, 2005

ho dang

Let me tell you, there ain't nothing like knowing an entire gang of roller derby girls has got your back.

These chicas are angry and looking to kick some ass.

I'm not missing the next match for anything in the world.

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March 10, 2005

The Fog

Because I hate myself and all my vile, filthy little ways I decided to punish myself by going on the pill and quitting smoking in the same week.

I've not been on the pill since high school so this was going to be an interesting little experiment. I started up on Sunday night and by Monday night I was a hormonal mess. It felt just like PMS except my rational brain kept pointing out that this was entirely pill related.

My list of people to devour skin first lengthened considerably.

Actually, the worst part was that the brain filters went into emergency power loss mode. So instead of preventing me from saying exactly what I think of you and your *demands *thoughts *taste in music *actions *breath *inability to spell, they let some things slip. Thankfully only a little came out and, looking back, it was really only 10% of what could have (or to be honest, should have) been said.

Today the fog lifted like magic, the little filters are back in place, I feel pleasant and charming (though I accept that I am not).

I'm giving up cigarettes for now, sigh. I miss them, I like smoking. I like that I get more breaks during the day and I get to be more social. People would argue that cancer is no fun, but I bet if you did it right, a cancer ward could be more social and fun than a nursing home. Just saying is all.

In other news, David's birthday is this weekend. I'm putting together an elaborate cake for his party. I started making it last night. With all the shit on my mind I managed to burn the hell out of the cream for the wasabi ganache, but I made the most delectable ginger syrup ever. I'm totally using the leftovers for ginger martinis.

Now I'm bored as hell and I think I'll go hit people's websites over and over and over and over just to mess with their stats or something.

oh-you-tee.

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March 6, 2005

blah blah blah

Weekend update in amazingly boring bullet point style. You know you hate me and my lazy posting. Honestly, I can't decide between quantity and quality...stick with what you know...you get quantity.

* A tired dog is a happy dog so Ghengis goes to the dog park as often as I can manage. Right now the place is a mud pit with all the melting snow and whatnot and therefore my car is also a mud pit. Usually having a muddied up car would be upsetting (it's everywhere, even the center console) but I figure it's worth it to have a happy dog. Besides, the car wipes clean. Today a dog tried to beat Ghengis up and the dog's asshole owners were no where to be seen. Apparently AssDog was entirely under the control of 2 pre-teen kids. One was a girl who tried to stop AssDog from being such a prick, the other was a boy who was encouraging AssDog. You don't want to get in the middle of pissed off dogs, it's scary. What scares me more about AssDog than anything is that while Ghengis is small, he's unaccountably strong and he doesn't really realize it. I don't want him pushed beyond control and actually hurt another dog. I don't want to deal with that. He's an incredibly good natured and sweet dog, but he was really starting to get pissed. He's like the Incredible Hulk of the Dog world. Except he's cute.
* Got a subscription to the New Yorker, didn't realize it came out so often. Guess this will be another magazine that I read in giant spurts.
* House goes back on the market on Tuesday and at the original asking price as well. I've completely lost interest in this whole house selling thing, I just want to be done with it so I can put this entire decade behind me. It's the last thing tying me to the past and I want it gone.
* What the fuck happened to being 31? I remember turning 30, I remember 30 being a good year. Suddenly I'm turning 32. What the fuck happened? I've got a couple months left to make '31 year old' memories. Better make them good.
* Down to one cigarette a day. I'm told I am crankier and more terse than usual. I'm not my regular, bubbly self. Sigh. Amends will be made, I promise.
* Got special super cheap pre-sale tickets to the Austin City Limits Festival! 2 three day passes cost me less than 1 three day pass. Good deal for me and Ethan! If Ethan and I only get to see each other once a year for the rest of our lives then the ACL festival is as good a reason as any to get together. This time we'll know to bring more whiskey (and water).
* In a fit of boredom I went and studied Yahoo Serious' career.
* There's a bottle of wine, a book (Hans Helmust Kirst 'The Wolves') and a hot bath calling my name.
* Speaking of wine, they need to build a Trader Joes in Minneapolis. I went through 1 1/2 cases of wine between early November and New Years just from entertaining guests and dating someone who likes my cooking and drinks wine with it. I need a good source of cheap, reliably good wine, I need case discounts!
* My dog looks remarkably nude without his collar on.
* You can go to Target, you can spend 2 hours in there, you can look in every section, you will never find the lint traps for the wash machine discharge.
* I have to stop writing about my dog.
* The tub calls my name...

hasta..

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March 4, 2005

Quote of the Day

"You know when you go to a potluck and there's that crock pot with the meatballs in the zingy sauce? You know how they kinda smell good and the person who brought them also brought cool tooth picks with which to spear them and so you try one and the sauce is pretty good and the toothpick is cool but the meatball is just a store-bought meatball, kind of mushy, no real flavor, and a bit of uncomfortable grit? Well that's who he is, he's a store bought meatball in flashy sauce."

This is a first for me, describing someone as a meatball.

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It Breaks

Like Persephone making her way up from the underworld I am now glimpsing the relief that spring will bring me.

Winter is so hard on me and these last 4 or so have been grueling. The cold, the lack of sun, being cooped up inside, it all wears on you. This winter was not terrible as Ethan sent me the greatest, brightest sunlight replicating lightbulbs ever. These things are pure science, so bright they practically light up the neighborhood.

They did help, absolutely.

But still I find myself weary and tired of the weather, of that awful biting wind and the overcast days. It's tough to be beaten down like that by something you have no control over.

And yet the sun is coming out and the weather is warming and the pomegranate seed of hope is rolling about on my tongue.

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March 3, 2005

Posty McNuggets

I need to just get one of those sites where you post pithy nuggets as you go through the day because I never have big posts anymore, just lots of little things that I try to accumulate and post all at once. I forget about 78% of them.

I forget about 78% of everything including the reasons why I ever liked you in the first place*.

So let's see, what's up in funkytown, population: me...

Finally got my hair cut. It was getting bad. Owen and I just could not coordinate schedules and we were hugely busy with our own stuff. I'm totally rocking the blonde tips and trailer trash roots. It's funny how this morning my roots were cringeworthy and this evening they're an intentional fashion statement. I've been doing the ultra-butter blonde for some time now, might be ready for a change. The problem is that when I do blonde I can add whatever fun color I want on top of it. You can't really put blue or pink tips on brunette hair. Much to consider.

With the help of a friend I changed the brakes on my car once. It was an all day endeavor. David came over this afternoon and changed his brakes in like an hour. Crazy. I love how some things can be massive undertakings or just a quick task depending on how you approach them. Granted, when i changed my brakes it was a learning experience and we also changed out the rotors and brake fluid.

Trying again to quit smoking. I'm down to one a day and up to about 15 clementines a day. The problem is that I really really like smoking. We'll see how this goes. I'd like to be positive, but also i'd like to punch somebody in the face.

Why is it that when people think of or write about revenge they are reminded of me? Rarely do I wage revenge, it's a dirty business, but when I do I'm quiet and subtle about it. I prefer schadenfreude to straight up revenge, but you knew that about me.

Went and saw Hotel Rwanda last night. I don't think I spent so much time crying at a movie in such a long time. I went home feeling like I had been beat up. There's a lot I want to say about this movie, but I'll just tell you to go see it. Go see it now. Then come home and ponder what the fuck the academy was thinking when they handed the award to Jamie Foxx.

Dear April, scratch...scratch...scritch...scrape.

I need a vacation. Desperately.

My dog has a crush on a footrest.

Note to boys...
PMS = PRE menstrual syndrome. Pre = BEFORE. If I have PMS as characterized by the urge to consume the flesh off your body I am not, at that moment, experiencing 'that time of the month'. That will happen 8-10 days later. So, later, when I say "my feet are bloated and I have cramps and I want to cry." the proper response is not, "I thought you had your period last week".
But neither is "hey, at least you don't..."

Hey shorty, I know you wanna party
the way your body look really make me feel nauuughty

I almost said the absolute wrong thing tonight. It was a total joke but the brain filters are working hard because they caught the joke and determined that it fell way too far into the "it's funny because it's true" zone. Thank you, brain filters.

I finally managed to pickk out David's birthday present. I think it's a good thing. We'll see what he says next friday.

I'm off. later peepmobiles.

* standard disclaimer: no...that was NOT about anyone specific so stop asking. Besides, I'd never forget why I didn't like them.

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