The Velvet Cerebellum

My day is all about spazziness. I hate it, but I'm also a little charmed by it. Is it wrong to be charmed by your own self? I'm not sure if I knew me if I would be irritated or completely charmed by me. I'm hoping for charmed since I am convinced I am the most charming person you know.

I oversleep this morning, which I hate to do because it just eats into my day. Luckily, it wasn't so bad because of the time change. It was only 9:30 in real life. I keep trying to get things done, but I can't. I'm just moving too slow.

I grab the dog and a cigarette and the phone and head outside to clear my head. I call David because he seems like the most willing victim and I sort of just ramble on and on to him about nothing. In the middle of the conversation the dog sees a rabbit in the back yard and takes off after it. The hand holding the leash is slammed mercilessly into the stair railing. Twice.

I'm yelling and crying into the phone, my hand is going numb and I am unable to form the fist I need to punch the shit out of the dog. Painful bruise forming as I type this.

I decide I need some breakfast and order David out of bed. I think to myself "I need to be over at my dad's at 2:30 for Kit's birthday party, I shouldn't be late, but I'll bring her present anyway". Oh, yeah, it's like 12:30, there's no way I'll be late! Not at all.

We head over to Victor's 1959 cafe for plantain omelets but the wait looks to be about 2 weeks long. Dang. So over to Maria's Colombian Cafe for plantain pancakes and omelets with refried beans! Of course everything is taking longer than expected because I am completely incapable of judging time and distance. I suck, but I drank a metric buttload of coffee (a metric buttload is .782 imperial buttloads, fyi)

At 2:20 my sister calls to say "where are you??". It's a legitimate question since the cake and ice cream is actually at 2 and not 2:30. Now I double suck, because not only was I going to be late, but now I am going to be ultra late.

Drop David off, head out in a blaze of flaky lateness and get over to my dad's an hour late.

Is it wrong that my dad has really hot friends? This is the second time I've met one of my dad's friends and he was way hot. What's up with that? What's up with my dad hanging out with guys close enough to my age to still be hot?

Good thing I brought Kit's present with, that would have been embarassing. Coffee, tart, presents and trying not to flirt with my dad's friend.

Home again. Had to carve the pumpkin (it's a total lame carving job, but whatever), then get the candy ready and lure the runaway dog inside with a pig ear.

Time to make dinner. Huzzah.

Posted by Heather at 10:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

My friend, Dave, emailed this to me in response to the previous post...

So - you named the puppy after a Mongol leader who is most closely associated with bloodthirstiness and barbarism.

Foreshadowing?

And then you wonder why he destroyed his newest toy?

Yep, as I sit here surveying the mess that one toy can make, I sincerely regret not naming him 'Roger'.

This week's limited highlights in cryptic, un-ordered list goodness...

* First dates rock
* Second dates rock just a little more
* Many many many birthdays to deal with
* I've been sleeping too much this weekend. I've started feeling guilty if I sleep too late. I need to stop that.
* 'Big Lebowski' is still a solidly good movie. In fact, it is and ever shall be my favorite.
* I've been cooking more lately. Last night was veal scallopini in a lemon sauce (mmmmbutter) with roasted potatoes. Tonight is pork tenderloin with spiced pumkin goat cheese and some sort of potato, probably roasted again. If I have enough pumpkin left over i'll make a dessert with it, but really, do we need a dessert with it being halloween? there's a ton of candy just sitting here.
* Speaking of halloween candy, Target was WIPED OUT of their stocks, I was almost forced to buy that big mixed bag of shitty candy that no kid wants. Luckily, I found good stuff and I will avoid having my house egged again this year.

That's all, boring week, not much going on. I'm off to get ready for a birthday then halloween dinner.

Posted by Heather at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

3 hours and Ghengis has completely destroyed his new toy. Dammit.

Posted by Heather at 10:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

I will get you for this. Trust me, I will.

Posted by Heather at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

I'm a premium member of salon.com, not that I really remember why, they piss me off all the time (I'm a liberal, I appreciate the liberal ideas, I don't appreciate out and out bias in the same fashion they accuse the conservatives. I mean, you can be biased all you want, just dont pretend you're not. but i digress). As a member I have get to have all these free subscriptions. I signed up with every intention of reading what I got, but I never do. I never read them.

The sad irony is that the one magazine that I do read religiously, cover to cover I don't even have a subscription to anymore. Sigh, Scientific American, why did I ever forsake you?

Posted by Heather at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

Dear Farmers Insurance
Please start sending me my bills in a timely manner and stop applying my payments to the wrong account

Dear Chase Manhattan and Wells Fargo
Please figure out this fucking car payment issue before I put both of you in a room and gas you. It's not hard. Chase, you go to Wells Fargo and tell them how much money they should give you each month; Wells Fargo, you go ahead and give that money to Chase. Easy.

Dear Everyone
No, I haven't lost weight. Stop asking. They only way possible that I could have lost weight recently is by having upwards of 8 fully formed tapeworms residing in my abdomen. Those tapeworms would have to be battling a rather large cancerous growth for nutrition. So what I'm saying is that every time you say, "have you lost weight" I think to myself "Holy shit, I must be infested with parasites and cancer and they must love ice cream and doritos a lot.". Stop making me think I have cancer.

Dear Prednisone
I hate you.

Dear Mom,
I love you dearly but I need you to stop hinting about grandkids.

Dear Dad
I love you dearly but I need you to stop hinting about grandkids.

Dear Curt Schilling
If I have to see one more shot of your bloody ankle, hear one more time in graphic detail the process by which you are stitched together, or hear one more "he's bringing truth to the name 'Red Sox'" I'm gonna hunt you down and kill you. You are the old man version of Kerry Strug and that's nothing to be proud about. Sure, you're all pitching game after game with a horrifying injury and it must be awful for you. I don't care. One time I had to drive 8 miles to work with an upset belly!! Yeah! 8 MILES with a belly that didn't feel so good (maybe I do have parasites) and no one did close ups of my belly every 32 seconds to show the world what an extreme effort I was putting forth to get to work. Schilling, suck it up and be a man.

Dear Cheese Girl
I miss you.

Dear me,
Go home, lay on the couch, feed your tapeworms (Dilby and Squiggler). Get some rest, you've had a rough week.

Posted by Heather at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

While I do agree that someone who has brownies made for them should not argue much with the maker of said brownies, I do feel it is fair for the consumer of the brownies to argue a point that is so very very wrong.

Brownies are good, there is no denying that. Milk cannot make the brownies better. Milk can certainly enhance the brownie eating experience if you are one who enjoys milk. You see, the milk is enhancing the experience, not the brownies themselves. A brownie is pure goodness with or without milk. Drinking milk might make the eating of a brownie better, but does not change the fundamental nature of the brownie.

There are few constants in this universe, few things that we can consistently rely on, but the goodness of brownies will be a truth until beyond when the sun dies.

Also, milk is vile.

xoh

p.s. you should invite me over to eat nachos and watch more of the world series. Just a suggestion.

Posted by Heather at 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

Happiness is watching the spaced out joy on a puppy's face as he chews a rawhide 10 times too big for him. Happiness is the 90 minutes of peace this buys me.

The sucky think about being 'mostly recovered' from your alien strep infection is that you forget that you still need to rest. I went out this morning, ran a million errands, came home to do laundry and I'm exhausted. So I'll rest a bit and then continue on with my Saturday 'chores'.

It's been classic October weather, blustery, chilled, rainy and grey. It's sort of depressing, but it also puts me in the mood to cook. Tomorrow is total roast chicken dinner day. The weather reminds me that I can't do another winter in Minnesota, i just don't have it in me to deal with it.

I finally harangued T-Mobile into giving me the big big discount I wanted on the phone I wanted. Had them note the credit on my account and headed to the store. They don't have the phone in stock, they don't know when it will be in stock. Dammit. It's the cheapest phone they have that has the 2 features I need, custom ring for each caller (not call groups) and the ability to be used in Ireland. It also has a camera, can't seem to avoid that, so I guess I'll be camera phoning it and you know that what means, another empty promise to post more pictures on here.

Okay, enough pointless rambling. Laundry, nap, knitting and roasted pork ribs for dinner.

Posted by Heather at 10:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

Those things I ponder have not yet been resolved. They eat at my brain constantly. I can't make a decision because I don't trust my motivation in this situation.

Also, the insomnia's come back full force. I now have 5 uninterrupted hours with my brain every night. It's not helping.

I need some relief from my own head.

Posted by Heather at 10:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

You know what cures strep throat? Hot pot bibimbop! That's right, tasty Korean food. Of course your dinner companion has to be someone who notices the convection currents in his soup.

So there you have it, Korean food and science nerds and suddenly the whole world seems brighter.

And, on a brighter note, 36 hours ago I had a doctor threatening to lock me up in a hospital and jam a tube down my throat. I think that every case that requires hospitalization should have a related number of pills that you can take to avoid it. Yesterday I had to take 11 pills to keep me out of the hospital, if you had to go in for say heart surgery there might be 187 pills that you would have to take. Day surgery would only be like 53 pills. See, medical science needs to catch up and make pills to solve everything. That way, those of us who never ever want to have to stay in the hospital won't have to! This is me, always thinking.

Posted by Heather at 10:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

Just got back from urgent care. Damn. I have a 'particularly aggressive' strep infection. The doctor was worried about he getting some sort of fucked up abcess on my tonsil and wanted to admit me to the hospital. I talked him out of it and promised to take the pills.

I'm kind of stupid. Taking pills when your right tonsil looks like Salvadore Dali's golf ball isn't just hard work, it's torure. I had to take 2 steroid pills, 1 giant antibiotic, 1 giant pain killer. All of these things are to be taken on a full belly as they will upset your belly. It hurts so fucking much to eat, i barely downed the little hash brown i cooked up. I took my pills, whimpering the whole time.

Twenty minutes later, cue me running to the bathroom to throw it all up. I have to go do the whole process over now, try to eat, swallow the pills only this time I dont want to throw up, but I also know how much it hurts to take these pills. I'm avoiding.

Update...
Managed to eat Malt-o-Meal and that was enough to keep the pills down. Tried to nap, but Ghengis decided he needed to pee every 20 minutes. Highlight was when Alan brought me ice cream after work. Please click the link, go to his website and leave comments telling him to update more often.

my mind is all wandering stupid on painkillers (PainKillaZ yo!). gonna put my head down.

Posted by Heather at 10:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

1/2 gallon Tropicana Immunity Defense orange juice
1 can chicken and wild rice soup
1 can chicken potato soup
1 box sugar free popsicles
1 box Tylenol sinus, cold and flu severe congestion formula, daytime
1 box Robitussin cold and flu, nighttime
1 box Emer-gen-c vitamin C supplement
1 box Frosty Paws ice cream for dogs

What does this tell you? I'm sick and I'm going to try to bribe the dog to give me peace with ice cream.

Posted by Heather at 10:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

I went through this a couple months ago and I'm doing it again. An interesting issue/question/thing to consider has popped up in the last couple days and I need to make a decision. It's a very emotional decision and could really change the course of my near-future plans.

What's interesting is that once again I have posed the quandary to some trusted friends to get their advice and each friend has given me solid advice and a good perspective but each person gave me completely different advice. No consensus was reached. I've written out a very detailed pro-con list and i guess I'll be working on that for a while.

I'm a Gemini, in every profile of Gemini's it says that we have problems making decisions because we always see the validity of both sides of any argument. This is true here, I can see the benefit of going ahead and saying 'yes', but also I don't want to change my plans. And to be perfectly honest, saying yes is fucking scarier than moving away. So part of me is chickenshit, part of me is trying to be logical, part of me very much wants to do this as the benefits, if it works out, would be incredibly joyous.

If I decide to go with it, you'll know as I suddenly won't be leaving the state. If i decide to let it go, then things will continue on their predetermined course.

It's days like today that I wish I was a robot, life would be so much easier.

Posted by Heather at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

If you are undecided about what to have for lunch and think "I'll hold up my options and whichever one the dog noses first is what I will eat." don't thrust 2 cans at him quickly. It only confuses him and he runs away. best to put them on the floor and let him get to know them naturally.

He picked the soup.

Posted by Heather at 11:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

It's 'belly' not 'tummy'. This is why I am the winner and you are the loser.

Get it right.
h

Posted by Heather at 11:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

1) Hip Flask! The most important thing you will ever bring with you on a dress shopping excursion. Fill it with Jack Daniels and go. If you can, try to get the flask where the cap is somehow tethered down. Your hands shake, you might drop the cap. Some dressing rooms are small, imagine standing in the cabinet under your kitchen sink trying to maneuver around so you can find the cap to your flask. The only possible outcome to this scenario is a half empty bottle of Joy wedged in your ass.

2) The Trusted Friend! This is equally as important as the flask. You need a friend that understands what looks good on you AND is willing to say "you look like Cthulu in that!". Don't bring anyone you've slept with previously, they might have a hidden, revenge-driven agenda. Don't bring family members for that same reason.

3) Try On Everything! This is especially important in the beginning. You might be surprised at what will look good. You'll also be surprised at what looks terrible. When something clings to your belly or accentuates your fat ass, pull out the flask.

4) Sleeves? Where did they go?! Dress designers apparently save money by not putting sleeves on their dresses. They do not, however, pass the savings on to you. Be prepared to buy a wrap to go over your chicken cutlet arms.

5) Lighting! There is a special catalog issued from the printing presses deep in the bowels of hell that lists for sale any and all light bulbs created by satan himself. These Lamps of the Dark Underworld are installed in every store and dressing room on the planet (with the exception of the dressing room in the expensive dress department of Nordstrom). These lights search the detailed history of your skin's development and bring to the surface every single flaw you have ever had. You'll find flaws on flaws, you'll see zits you forgot you'd had. Remember that hicky you got from that weird guy in 10th grade that couldn't play Pictionary to save his life? That'll show up too. The lighting will make you look fatter, shorter, and more mottled that ever before, you'll look like a naked, diseased apple. See #1 for advice on this.

6) Nordstrom Rules, Everyone Else Sucks! At Nordstrom they were pleasant, helpful, cheerful and supportive. Every time I went from one department to another the salesperson called ahead to let them know I was coming and what I was looking for. I expected the same level of service at Macy's, I was sorely disappointed. Macy's employees seemed to be one step up the food chain from minimum wage hanger jockeys and didn't really care what was happening. When I ask you where I could find cocktail dresses, don't look at me like a deer caught in the headlights. It's a simple question that directly pertains to your job. Patt the Nordstrom Maven was beyond excellent. She helped with every aspect and even arranged my wrap in a unique and stylish manner so I wouldn't look like an old lady. I love you, Patt.

7) The Fine Line! There's a fine line between 'curvy' and 'fat ass'; also 'classy' and 'matronly'. I hovered on this line many times. The flask helped immensely.

8) Don't Get Trapped! Some dresses are stupid, don't have zippers and are designed to go over the head. While it is important to try on everything, please be aware that a dress that might be too small when you try it on will not come off easily if you are shaped like a bowling ball and trying to pull it off over your head. Remember #1? Now's a good time for that.

9) Keep Looking! This is related to #3. Even if you find a good dress early in the evening, keep searching. I ended up going back to Nordstrom to buy the dress after trekking the mall all night, but if I had bought it immediately I would have been filled with self doubt and second guessing. I am positive that I now own the best dress in the entire Mall of America (in my size and budget).

10) Nylons! Splurge a little on nylons, it's worth it to get something that fits well, and compliments the outfit. Buy 2 pairs! No lie. You don't want to be 20 minutes to leaving for the event and finding yourself with a run the size of the Nile going down your leg and having to buy grocery store L'eggs in "023 Ass Brown". If you own pets you have no choice but to buy multiple pairs. In keeping with #5, spend a lot of time with the hosiery lady (Susan), she knows what she's talking about. She knows the difference between sheer, semi-sheer and space-sheer.

11) Dinner! You will owe your shopping mate dinner. You can not skimp on this. You owe them a large, expensive tasty meal with drinks and dessert. They get to pick the place.

Posted by Heather at 11:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

"also, a naked clown midget showing up at your door with eggs and milk might be kind of cool... especially if he didnt have a midgety dick."

No, actually, I don't want to explain the context of that quote. I'd rather you just sat there in creepy wonderment.

Posted by Heather at 11:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

The stars over the lake = good
The 'L' word = bad
Dreaming your ex replaced your pillows with bad pillows = perplexing
Shaun of the Dead = EXCELLENT
The Uptown Diners new biscuits and gravy = not great, but the best option so far in the city
Phone calls about potassium = tiring
Buying presents for people = fantastic
Dinosaur skeleton wrapping paper = even better
Chef Boy-ar-dee ravioli = not as good as I remember, but fast and easy

Posted by Heather at 11:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

Why I love geeky boys more than any other variety of girl or boy ever...

Dim girlHeather As New Human.Female
Dim ears As New Human.Organs.Orifices.Item("ears")
ears.Listen(girlHeather.Roar("ARRRRGHHH!!","50db")

Write me a poem, sing me a song, send me chocolates...meh, whatever. Do something like this and you've got me.

Posted by Heather at 11:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

I just saw this conversation end...

"I'm sorry! Here, let me pay for some get-over-yourself therapy."

Shut her up pretty fast.

Posted by Heather at 11:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

Went in to panic mode tonight realizing that I didnt have my dress for the wedding yet. Blick. Messaged Owen and told him to call me after work. Perfect plan, completely perfect. We got drinks and dinner from the SMARMIEST waiter. I had the veal (mmm baby veal, kept in little boxes, so wrong and yet...) and as dinner was served the the drinks were flowing we got to play bitchfest '04!

We bitched about the food (which was actually very good, just fraught with end-of-the-night kitchen issues), hair, clothes, people with zero self respect, money, dating, sushi, dicks, moving, the future, and traffic. Not necessarily in that order.

To balance it out we promised to take a trip together, he assured me he would help me buy a dress for the wedding and match my hair to it, laughed at how goofy the world is and marvelled at the sheer coincidence of our friendship (the hairdresser I had an appointment with was sick, so they switch me around and set me up with him. sigh, happy).

We drank too much, ate too much, smoked too much. I needed it.

Came home and went on a treasure hunt to gather up the little bits, cards, photos, and mementos that will be packaged up and sent out east before the move. I figure it's the best way to keep the things that are important to my heart safe in case the moving truck falls in a river. Of course the UPS truck could be consumed by aliens, but hey, contributing photos of my dad and paris snow domes to the alien research cause is the least I can do.

I'm up too late, La Reina was actually around and I wanted to talk to her cool ass before I went to bed. Must sleep, big day ahead of me. Fingers crossed.

Posted by Heather at 11:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

So a coworker and I keep talking about brownies and how we totally deserve them. She told me that after talking with me about brownies she went up to Wedge (the local feel-good, organic, fair-trade, good for you co-op), saw brownies and decided to get one. It was entirely disappointing. It was too healthy or something. We decided that the sugar was all wrong. The sugar was probably organic, harvested by people who were paid a living wage and had super-standard working conditions. Feel-good sugar is not good sugar.

We want our sugar harvested by people working at gunpoint for meager wages and subsisting in conditions that 60 minutes would bust in and report about. "Fear and bad karma make for good sugar!"

Song of the week is Wild World as performed by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes (Cat Stevens' version is nice, but...). Also, with the iPod you end up making massive random playlists for the car and Pearl Jam's Rearview Mirror came up a little unexpectedly. I highly recommend this for any high speed, high volume driving mix you might be putting together.

Posted by Heather at 11:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

The ring on my left hand ring finger is making me itch. Scratch...scratch...it's getting red. could be my skin is dry, could be a reaction to the ring.

Or maybe, possibly...it could be that it's a $.25 ring from a vending machine in the foyer of a diner. The best part about getting the ring was pumping in quarter after quarter trying to get cool things out of the machine. April kept most of the stuff, I was just charmed that this ring fit me, so I kept it.

Looks like it's time for the world's best eggs benedict and more vending machine shenanigans.

Posted by Heather at 11:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

Tonight I learned how to use a sextant and I leaned what an astrolabe is.

Now I just need to get one of each and when society crumbles and the satellites fall from the sky I will be the only one able to find my way around.

GPS? I don't need no stinkin' GPS. It's old school all the way, mofos!

Posted by Heather at 11:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

When you have children you take lots of pictures of them, ostensibly to preserve the precious memories. This is a lie, not a total lie, but close. You try to get in there a few good incriminating pictures. You know the ones, they're all sweet, in the bathtub with a cowboy hat on, or shoving a pen up their nose or something along those lines.

You take these pictures because you know that in 10 or 12 good years the rebellion and betrayal kicks in. The fighting back, the bad attitude, the slamming of doors. As a parent you bide your time because you know that a couple years after the rebellion kicks in, so kicks in the dating phase. You get to meet the prospective girlfriend or boyfriend and suddenly, you have all the power you lost when the great hormone imbalance of the western hemispere kicked in. You can pull out those pictures and show them to the date.

Nice

Problem for me is, you're not my kid and you're not going to date (sorry about lobbing off your balls like, but you have to admit, the complete lack of humping is nice...right?).

You're in your teen months now and rather obnoxious. Since you won't be bringing a sweet little girl puppy home for me to meet, i thought I'd make your humilitation public as revenge for...

* destroying my sunglasses
* devouring countless rolls of toilet paper in the hallway
* chewing my underwear
* eviscerating a pillow on my bed as I slept (just how the hell did you do that??)
* chewing the tongue out of my favorite boots
* chewing my favorite sneakers
* chewing up my security blanket
* not only destroying every toy i've bought you but doing it in such a way that the entire floor gets covered in the excelsior
* pulling up the carpet
* eating out of the cat box
* causing a bruise the size of Kansas on my upper are. Twice. (same exact scenario both times)
* peeing on my comforter
* eating a dead bird you found in the yard and then immediately drinking out of my glass
* devouring my socks
* crawling into my lap for a hug and immediately farting (i really hate this one)
* methodically picking the fur off your stuffed animals and leaving it everywhere
* dog breath

So, here you go. Your dignity for the world to see...

I'm particularly fond of this one of you peeing. I think it captures the humiliation I'm going for.

Okay, that felt better

xoh

Posted by Heather at 11:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

The 'this and this and completely unrelated that' is becoming a bad habit of mine. Sorry.

Quote of the ...day/week...whatever
"In the college of sex, foreplay is NOT an elective"

The QOTD ties into a conversation I was having with a friend about sex. Or more specifically, I want to write a sex column. Not a sex advice column, though I'd be pretty damned good at that, just a regular pithy bit about sex. When I tell people this they bring up Sex in the City, but I've only ever seen 2 episodes of that (in one they had to rent a car to go to a baby shower. Being from the midwest where you MUST own a car or die I was only bemused). The real problem is that there's no real way to do it without offending your friends, exes, currents, parents, priests, cashiers, neighbors, bosses, dentists, delivery men, sisters, produce handlers, princes, genies, candlemakers, accountants and astronauts. Sigh.

Relatedly, has anyone seen those charts where they compare your sexual adventurousness to different kinds of ice cream starting with vanilla for the boring, missionary crowd going up to rocky road for those that leave you wide eyed and speechless. If you have, let me know.

The dog has a new game, when I sit on the couch leaning way forward, he likes to drop small toys down the back of my pants and then go after them.

HAPPY FREAKIN BIRTHDAY MARK!!!!!
Your gift hit UPS today and should be speeding it's way to you. HOORAY!

I'm obsessively watching Babylon 5 which I borrowed from Alan who needs to update more often. Seriously, what's the point of me haranguing you to get a damned website if you aren't gonna update.

Have you ever considered how many old men you know who actually ARE grandpa Simpson? Off the top of my head, I can name 2 that I know.

Yeah, okay so hooray or something, that's what's going on.

Posted by Heather at 11:22 PM | Permalink

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

This morning's freezing cold temps are just another reminder that I need to be the hell out of here. Somebody buy my damned house so i can move to warmer climes.

NTS...don't forget your iPod in the car when the temps get so low. Makes the iPod angry and sluggish

On an unrelated note...
If you go to the store to buy a duvet cover and you find one in a subtle, tasteful striped pattern try to keep in mind that stripes on a king sized bed end up looking like an optical illusion on a space that big. Better to go with solid colors or bigger, more abstract designs.

Posted by Heather at 11:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

happiness is a warm brown puppy curled up against you, occasionally looking at you with sleepy puppy eyes.

edit...
I forgot to add homemade cocoa!!!

Posted by Heather at 11:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »

or something...

Tonight for dinner I tossed some cubed sweet potato in a bit of oil and garam masala and kosher salt. I roasted them at high heat. While they were in the oven i seasoned a half rack of lamb and seared the hell out of the outside, separated it into chops and seared those. Served it with a wedge of mirableu (I tried to find a good link to mirableu but i couldn't. It's a mild, tangy, salty sheep's milk blue cheese from spain. It goes beautifully with lamb. Is it wrong to serve lamb with sheep's milk cheese? yes.).

So tonight's dinner was good, but what I made the other night was better.

Herb and cornmeal crusted slices of zucchini with sauteed shrimp and salsa fresca made with tomatoes, basil and parsley from the garden. Yum.

Of course, to balance things, I'm slumming with a bag of Black Pepper Jack Doritos !Limited Time Only!

Who's coming to dinner next time?

Posted by Heather at 11:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »